Just having a hard day and could use a pick me up

I got triggered today and spent a big chunk of the day trying to sit with the discomfort. I started to feel better but then I gave in to my compulsions. I think it was about an hour or so of doing it. I’m exhausted now. I feel like I’m going mental. Details below.. skip if you can’t be bothered to read.. I just fixate and struggle with every little thing I see on my son.. like are these white marks on his skin related to the condition I read about. Are these brown marks related? His black hair has browny red through it, so my thoughts were what if these patches turn white per symptoms of this conditions? What if this happens? What if that happens? While he slept I spent the hour combing through his hair trying to see where it was lightening to see how light it is in case it turns white. He has two strands of hair that did this. So my mind connected the dots incorrectly and is running wild thinking more of this will happen thus indicating he has this condition. Anxiety/ocd is about accepting uncertainty but I guess today is just a hard day for me, and this makes me feel hopeless and sad. Could use some advice especially from parents who’ve been through something similar

Username: AnoymousAnoymous

Date posted: 1y ago

In these moments when your mind is telling you it’s true this bad thing x is true, have you tried assuming it is true and then witness what comes up? It’s hard to sometimes know what strategies will help in which situations but I find that when I go with it, assume worse case scenario, underlining emotions surface, what’s below the anxiety rises and feeling those feelings seems to weaken the OCD. I truly believe you will overcome this, I’m holding that hope even if today you felt defeated you’re on the path and with more guidance from your therapist you will see progress.

Username: divyDdivyD

Date posted: 1y ago

@Aaanonymous Thank u so much x

Username: Shauna PichetteShauna Pichette

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

I like to advise using self-compassion in times like these. OCD is such a bully for latching on to people's values. I've worked with many parents who have struggled with similar presentations of OCD and it's hard. You're doing your best though. Keep going.

Username: divyDdivyD

Date posted: 1y ago

@NOCD Therapist - Shauna P. Thank you so much. I was really hating on myself in that moment. It really is hard to practice self compassion.

Username: DarkCloud190DarkCloud190

Date posted: 1y ago

While i dont have kids i will say progress is not a straight line up. Think of it more like an escalator. You will go up and then you may plateau a bit and go down but in general it is an up direction. So dont be too hard on yourself for having a set back and falling into some of your compulsions. When you described doing with you child i catch myself doing with my senior dog sometimes. Ill question if he is breathing too fast or too slow or panting too much or too little and question and analyze ever movement. All i can say is keep putting in the work! You are not alone - progress comes in all shapes!

Username: divyDdivyD

Date posted: 1y ago

@DarkCloud190 Thank you 🥹

Username: Dee CDee C

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m a father of two - one has special needs. In my journey ocd does not lend itself to the good things I’ve accomplished as a parent but hell does it latch on to my self blame. And when it does, I turn up the volume of self compassion to not review my past with regret or to the future with discouragement/disgust. I only have the present moment and can only hope to favorably influence the future while accepting the uncertainty. Hope this helps.

Username: divyDdivyD

Date posted: 1y ago

@Dee C That’s so beautifully said, thank you. What do you do for yourself to dial up your self compassion?

Username: Dee CDee C

Date posted: 1y ago

@divyD Thank you. For self compassion I take time for myself. Take a break, go for a walk, etc. The family room has pictures of when the kids were younger. I sit there looking at them & reminiscing while giving myself a mental pat on the back. Rather than looking at each picture individually, I imagine the big picture & smile inside. I say to myself ‘job well done, now just keep moving forward’. So when you have a moment or 2, look at the big picture and notice all the good things you’ve done.🥲

Username: Kritty

Date posted: 1y ago

So so tired

Another rough day. Been dealing with the same intrusive thought for a month and every time I try to rationalize it I'll have a thought not intrusive that I think of that basically keeps reinforcing the fear and makes it still seem real. I am so exhausted. I have my beautiful son to take care of and I feel like my life is getting ripped away from me. I feel like I went too far thinking and that I'll never get out of it this time. And the thought is so silly but I just attached fear to it for whatever reason. A lot of people that don't have ocd/intrusive thought issues would probably make fun of me for the thought. I get embarrassed at how silly and weird it would seem to someone else. I'm scared I'm gonna go crazy or that I am crazy. I feel stuck inside myself. Lost somewhere inside myself. And a bit detached. I just feel hopeless again 😔. I just want to be normal and have a great life with my son 😔.

Username: libramama88

Date posted: 28w ago

OCD Harm Mom Struggling 3 years later

Hi guys! I've turned to you before but a new situation occured today and I want to understand my response. Like I said I have OCD harm and it is surrounded about my children and my residents I take care of, whom I love with my whole heart. My youngest son is very physical and always on top of me. Because of my disease it drives me up the wall! I feel so bad but it really freaks me out. Long story short he was on me today. Hand wrapped around him. I had an intrusive thought " what if I did something no one would know" it scared me and I pushed through but my nerves were so bad I ended up pushing some part of my hand on his arm. I was rushed with guilt. I'm also fighting strep and just feel so guilty.

Username: babyoda

Date posted: 16w ago

Please reply, I need advice

Today was a really bad day. I finally went on this app and started reading so many of my experiences through other peoples’ eyes. It was validating and triggering, and I spent the rest of the day shaking in bed. My mind is full of, “you’re sick, you’re crazy, you’re a burden, you’re an inconvenience, you’re a bad person because you’ve done bad things, your boyfriend shouldn’t love you, he’s been manipulated by you to stay…” I know it’s OCD. I know that now. I’ve known for years but I really know now. I really just want any advice at all. I have images in my mind I could never say out loud. I have guilt and shame that I could never heal from. I didn’t know so much of my personality was a neurological malfunction. I have gotten better but today it feels like any progress I’ve experienced never existed. But I know it’s possible. Please help.

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Just having a hard day and could use a pick me up

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