OCD convincing me I will die

I really want to get the COVID vaccine, but due to me giving into my ocd compulsions (not realizing it at the time) I researched and researched and read all scientific articles about myocarditis and side effects. They ended up indicating that about 1 or less than 1 in a million people who get a covid vaccine of any kind will die from myocarditis. You would think that odds like that would give me peace, but it’s the opposite. I keep thinking, I could be that one in a million, how can I risk my life getting this vaccine? I feel sick over it even though I really want to be protected against COVID. I want to go back to living my life without worrying about dying from the disease. I know those without OCD would look at those odds and not even think twice, but to me it feels like a 50/50 life or death decision. Does anyone have any tips on how to get through this? I have obviously stopped researching and Googling once I realized it was a compulsion.

Health Concern OCD

Thinker36

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I experienced illness OCD a few years ago after googling when I was bitten by a stray cat. I immediately went into panic mode and to the ER. They told me that I could have been infected with rabies and that there was still time. However the full round of shots to deal with Rabies are $50k a piece. Was two weeks of pure hell while the cat was quarantined. It turned out not being rabid and a positive was that I helped rehome a cat. But the anxiety and irrational thinking about possibly getting rabies and dying were on another level. the whole Covid Vaccine thing to me gives me anxiety. A lot more is known now about successfully treating Covid infections if you decide against the shots. Doctors have become pros at getting people well from it. From my rabies infection scare OCD I would tell you that the best thing you can do is take deep breaths, give yourself permission to pause about the what if concern and let it rest for a few days the best you can. When I do this with my OCD I shift my thinking pattern and think more rationally. Then decide when you are more mentally calm. As hard as it was with my life or death rabies OCD even in the thick of the anxiety and dread even a brief time of giving myself permission to not think about it made me feel better and more rational. You will get through this!

vlrm

Date posted: 2y

@Thinker36 Thank you so much for your response! That rabies scare sounds horrifying!!! I’m so happy you got through it. I’m definitely going to try to give myself some space from the what if thoughts like you said. I pushed myself to get the first shot and was of course terrified but this time around I am way more focused on the heart inflammation. It sucks! But thank you for your advice

Picknick

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I mean you should be rationalizing but you are more likely to get myocarditis from actually getting covid. I mean we should accept that the risk is low regardless and thus shouldn’t impact your decision. It could happen. But it also most likely won’t. There is no amount of rationalizing that will change the odds. So we can only accept them and move on

Picknick

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Picknick *shouldn’t be rationalizing

vlrm

Date posted: 2y

@Picknick I agree, you are right. It’s definitely a compulsion for me to look up the odds and try to rationalize it etc. it’s so hard when my OCD is screaming at me “COVID will kill You” but also screaming “The COVID vaccine will kill you” lol

Draykewampler

Date posted: 18w

fear of death and ocd

so i have ocd but this is the main theme ive been dealing with for the last few months, im obsessed with my mortality and i feel trapped by the reality of death. i dont really believe in an afterlife which makes it scarier, not that i dont wanna my brain literally just wont let me. but i have daily panic attacks thinking about death all day, its honestly the toughest thing ive ever dealt with. does anybody have any tips on how they manage this if they have ever dealt with it? not looking for reassurance, just some non compulsive ways to kind of lessen the grip of the fear.

bokang

Date posted: 17w

Is this OCD or just...me?

I'm really struggling to figure out where my OCD ends and where I begin. I’m scared of most things—not in a panicky way, but in a deep, cautious, worst-case-scenario kind of way. Example: I haaaaaaaaate my spectacles. I’d love to do Lasik, or even just wear contacts, but the idea terrifies me. I’ve heard about the tiniest risk of blindness or infection, and once that thought is in my head, it takes over. I picture the worst, and then I don’t act. TRIGGER Also Lasik involves cutting TRIGGER which petrifies me. I’m stuck between wanting change and being too afraid to make it. The same goes with wanting to travel but being scared I'll be trafficked or someone will plant something in my bag & I'll get arrested overseas. No amount of praying will fix it. Does anyone else feel like their OCD makes them freeze in everyday decisions? Like you can’t tell if you're just being practical or if it's the OCD gripping the steering wheel again? Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's not OCD but my personality, that's what I'm trying to figure out.

Mid-life adults with OCD

My journey

Date posted: 13w

Magical thinking

i don’t want to do my compulsions. I feel like if I don’t somebody will get hurt, sick or die. It’s a very scary thought to feel like if I don’t do my compulsions it will be my fault even though it isn’t & nor will it happen. I know it’s magical thinking & my thoughts are not true nor will they come true. it’s just im so tired of doing these compulsions. im so tired of feeling like I can stop something bad happening if I don’t step on this or touch this 4 times. it even got me believing that if I do something I want to do & love, something bad will happen. I just want to be able to live & feel like I use to. I hate ocd. how can I calm this down so I can be able to navigate in my own life?

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OCD convincing me I will die

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