I really am starting to feel like the old me :) I’m so proud of all the work I’ve done to get better. I know I’m not fully recovered but I feel better!! I’m so ready to be me again!

I’ve avoided driving majority of my teen years because I got into a head on collision when I was 17. Even before then, I was absolutely terrified of driving. Saying I was terrified is an understatement. I’d literally shake at the thought of anything to do with cars and imagine my body scrunching up with the car metal after getting into an accident. OCD would convince me that I simply cannot trust myself behind the wheel, and that something bad will happen - like I’ll kill my self, someone else, or an animal and I hated it. Needless to say, I genuinley could not bring myself to get started with driving until I was 19, which was a few months ago lol. I got my permit at 17, practiced driving a tiny bit then stopped after the accident I got into. I eventually got the permit renewed a few months ago at 19, then I finally got my license a month after. Now I’m 20, and today I drove myself 45 mins to and from work! I still need to practice more, but holy lord I never thought this day would come. All the years I’d feel embarassed/judge myself have come to an end. Just because I was delayed at doing something doesn’t mean I’m not capable. For anyone who has goals they want to reach and they feel like they’re impossible - they’re not. Fight OCD as best as you can. I hope I can be a symbol of hope for anyone whose struggling

3 years ago I got a job that was fully remote. Pay was great, but it took a few months for my life to change. Without getting into too many details I thought I was a full blown schizophrenic that cried in the fetal position every night. As a 27 year old young man who thought I was tough as nails, this crippled me. Learned more about OCD and did some therapy sessions on here. Sessions were great and I highly recommend. However, the exposure and response treatment they recommend is really all you need. It all boils down to facing your fears. No amount of supplements (I spent thousands on them) will get the job done. I said fuck this and just started doing everything I dreaded. Even sat in my own head and let the intrusive thoughts play out on purpose. Harm ocd and psychosis ocd was my main issue. Still is, but whenever I get any intrusive thoughts, I purposely think of something worse and say “top that” (it sucks I know, but it has helped me). I got a new job to where I’m fully back onsite and around people daily. I make it a non negotiable to move everyday even if it’s skipping lunch to take a walk. ALSO… and this is huge. I stopped drinking and smoking and put a huge focus on exercise and nutrition. (Still casual drinks with friends every other weekend, but only light beer. No shots no hard liquor. The socializing is good for me) Dr. Paul saldino and Dr. Chris Palmer are my go to for getting on track. Focus on protein and healthy fats and limit the carbs / processed oils. It’s simple everyone. Face your fears, move around as much as possible, and fuel up and real food. (Cars need gas, not soda). OCD is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It’s way worse than anyone unaware can imagine. BUT….. recovering is the best feeling possible.

So a few months ago a suffered with a really bad panic attack (I didn’t know what it was at the time) and my anxiety has never been the same since. It’s almost like I had to relearn living life with this new anxiety. I have had to force myself into uncomfy situations to remind myself that this will not over come me. It seems that my anxiety stems from being in a place I’m not familiar with or have this feeling that I may be stuck and can’t get out back to a place where my body feels at ease. I wanted to expose myself to a very uncomfortable situation to prove that I will be ok. So I took myself and 15 year old brother on a 3 day long trip to 2 major cities NYC and Philly. I did have some small moments where I felt heart palpitations or that I couldn’t relax (mainly driving into these cities/ being stuck in traffic is what spiked it) But over all I’m feeling really happy with how I managed the trip. I think I’m just mourning the person I was before this anxiety. A few years ago I would’ve never felt that kind of anxiety on the trip. Maybe leading up to it. But I’m hoping the more I continue to force myself out of this bubble that anxiety wants to put me in, I will begin to regain the ability to be away from home and relax again.