- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Specific OCD theme does not matter. All OCD is the same. Thoughts are just thoughts and don’t necessarily represent our true values or beliefs or anything at all — the problem is the meaning we are giving to these thoughts. The fact that you don’t identify with what OCD is telling you that you are, is the reason you have this theme and why it is causing you so much distress. OCD can be very scary, it can feel very real, but it doesn’t have to be this way forever. Are you currently/are you able to see a therapist?
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve gone through all of this! You’re not alone. It’s so awful but I know we’ll get through this
- Date posted
- 6y
You’re not alone. Everything you wrote resonates SO MUCH with me and I’ve been suffering from this for much longer. I don’t say that to scare you. Just to make sure you know there are others out there. I see you. I feel you. I get it. You are not alone.
- Date posted
- 6y
I understand therapy being too expensive as this has been an issue for me as well. Have you tried any self help (OCD books, workbooks, etc.)?
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi, I see that this post was written a while ago but it’s really calming to know that I’m not alone on this. For the past year I’ve had days where I’ve just felt off. I feel like my voice is boyish, even when I look at myself in the mirror I feel like I look like a boy (when I know I don’t)... it makes me panic and gives me suicidal thought because like you said what’s the point of living if I can’t be myself... I am experiencing everything you have written here. I’ve been a girly girl since little and I do love being a woman I just can’t comprehend why I don’t feel like one sometimes.. it’s so scary. I don’t want to be a boy. Do you have any updates on how you’re coping with this? I really need help
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi kea . Yea this post was from last year and this theme was very rough for me . However I overcame this theme and I’m still a woman and I’m still a girly girl I do my makeup everyday and I play in my hair lol . This theme actually put me in the hospital because I was scared for my life . I then got the medicine I needed and also seemed professional help from a ocd specialist and I was diagnosed with ocd officially in august of 2019 . Today I live a normal life I take my medicine everyday and it’s very rare that I have obsessive thoughts. When I do get them I try to do exposures and don’t fight the thoughts you have to let them pass through no matter how uncomfortable they make you feel . I wish you the best let me know if you have any questions.
- Date posted
- 5y
@naj I’m so glad to hear you’re doing better! It gives me hope. What kind of medication are you on? If you don’t mind me asking
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kea Prozac and abilify
- Date posted
- 6y
@pineapple I’ve been looking but the ones near me are either too expensive or too far
- Date posted
- 6y
@Bella I pray oneday I will
- Date posted
- 6y
I pray one day we will
- Date posted
- 6y
I try to tell myself that I’m still a girl and I still enjoy being one but it doesn’t let me feel the same . I just want it to let me go . So I can be happy with myself again
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve been looking into it . But I’m not sure if it’ll be as effective
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too
- Date posted
- 18w
I’m sobbing right now. I’m convinced that I’ve been in denial all along and that it’s all real. It has to be now. I don’t wanna be a boy but I feel like there’s no way I’m not one if I’m doing these things. There’s no way I’m a cis girl if I’m doing these things. I’m so fucking done with life I feel absolutely trapped. I don’t wanna be a man but fuuuuuuuuck I think it’s real now I’m so fcking done with living. I really feel like I’ve been using OCD as an excuse/a cover up and I’m scared it’s all a facade. There’s no way it’s not real now I’m literally so fcking scared I want it all to stop. If anyone has advice please send some my way. I need it badly
- Date posted
- 14w
I want to get thought this weird horrible period, it has been horrible. I am doubting everything. I’m not diagnosed but when I look at my past I’ve always been horribly anxious and worrying about health, death and basically everything while suffering from major a lot of insecurities stemming from bullying and lately a lack of intimacy with my partner, Every time I think I’m on the way out, or see some light at the end of the tunnel my mind always pulls me back in. It’s torture. I’ve always been insecure about how I look and I find myself comparing myself at other males and it’s made my self esteem on the floor. I have a girlfriend and prior to this we had a future planned and talked about kids (we’re still young, but it felt so real), this all began to bubble when we stopped being intimate and the loss of my job. I don’t know anymore how to move on, every day feels like a chore. The intrusive thoughts telling me I’m in denial, constantly thinking about men I’ve felt insecure about their looks compared to mine wishing I looked like them plaguing my mind. The false attractions, prior to this i was comfortable in acknowledging good looking men. However now my mind takes this as evidence, every single thing in my past seems like some form of evidence. Not having male friends, the comparisons, being questioned about my sexuality from siblings. I’m sorry if this is reassurance, I am just needing to get some things of my chest. Every time I think about my first real attraction or girls I found pretty/attractive or I liked my mind is like your in denial and then I feel horrible about thinking those thoughts as I have my girlfriend. I miss just being with my girlfriend and not having these thoughts and feeling horrible. I feel like a fraud and a horrible partner. I’ve tried to accept maybe, maybe not, but something always comes back. These 4 months have been terrible. I want to sleep without horrible dreams, I want to eat. I want to feel like myself again. Thank you to anyone who reads this. Hope you’re strong too.
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