Struggling with OCD, I often find myself being my own worst critic: "I gave into that compulsion" or "I ruminated over this intrusive thought." It's easy to bring ourselves down, but we are all doing our best to fight back against the OCD and we deserve self-care! Personally, I love to pamper myself with a face mask and relaxing music. What about you? How can you be kind and compassionate to yourself today?
I like to reframe the downers as wins (having a support person to practice and model this for helps). “I was able to recognize that compulsion for what it was,” and “I was able to stop ruminating on that intrusive after 20 minutes, next time it’ll be 15.” Then I take a moment celebrate myself!
@Anonymous For example…”I just noticed a typo right after posting that reply but I am NOT going to delete the whole post and just leave it up there for posterity and future-me to see.”
@Anonymous I had a typo, too. But I deleted and reposted. 😬 Maybe it’s good I did. I think I have room for improvement on recognizing my compulsions (leaves period off intentionally 😱) ;)
@Anonymous - I love it - you go friend, kicking OCD in the behind! And such great ideas for self-care and kindness to yourself. Keep up the amazing work!
Thank you for this. I really needed it, especially now. I'm having an extremely painful struggle with my relationship concerns. 😔 My goal for today is to use my therapy session well, and to remember, like you said, to give myself a break. My fears and worries are treating me absolutely horribly; I don't need to personally be hard on myself, too. Self-cruelty isn’t helpful.
Yes, such an important, but super tough reminder! OCD is cruel enough without us adding extra negativity and harshness. Sending positivity your way, Brendan - you are not in this alone!
I am going to drink a hot tea with ginger and lemon to take care of my physical health! I totally agree - it is important to practice self-compassion instead of beating ourselves up when we happen to fall into a compulsion. I’d just add, mainly for myself, that an act of self-compassion is not to get rid of the emotion of guilt - we’re allowing the guilt to be there, we’re resisting the urge to self-punish, and we use an RPM message to move with life compassionately :)
I hope you enjoyed your hot tea, MartynaWlodarczyk! And I 100% agree, we aren't trying to get rid of guilt or make self-care a compulsion. We are just giving ourselves the grace and compassion that we deserve and would so willingly give to others!
So last night I had herbal tea instead of a glass of wine, and BOOM ... Calm. I had no idea herbal tea would be more calming/soothing for me than wine 🤯. Thanks a million for your suggestion!
@Aivlissa Ohhh I wanna try this. Thanks!
Hi, thank you for this. So far I've been doing very well with my OCD (sexual orientation), I've managed to bring down compulsions quite a bit and rumination no longer takes over my life. Today I did however give in to a compulsion twice, and the second one backfired, part of me want to "re-do" the compulsions to "undo it" and prove it was a fluke, but I've done so many times in the past that I know it won't work, I'll get my reaureance and whatnot, but it'll come back later at some other time. Perhaps this time I should just sit with it and try to relax with something I enjoy. Thank you
Hi Canadian_Gio! Thank you so much for sharing how your journey is going so far with ERP. I'm thrilled to hear that you have been bringing down compulsions! Some days are definitely harder than others and compulsions happen. What is so encouraging to me is how you are recognizing the compulsions and seeing how even if you were to "undo it" you know that it will just be a temporary relief. I hope you were able to sit with some uncertainty this weekend and give yourself some much deserved grace and self care!
I love all of your posts! This one in particular was well-timed. I had a pretty intense flare up today-- although I was able to successfully defy my OCD and not cave into a HUGE compulsion, that resistance left me so mentally drained that I was guilty of several other smaller compulsions soon after. I am kicking myself still, but I know no good would come of this. So I'm treating myself tonight by going to bed early and listening to one of my fav author's audio books.
I'm so sorry to hear about your intense OCD flare up today! Those surprise attacks are so frustrating and I definitely can relate to the mental exhaustion and guilt. I hope you were able to enjoy heading to bed early and listening to that audio book, Aivlissa! You deserve it!
I'm an analyst by trade so I specialize in digging into topic daily. Being analytical as a personal trait really sucks as I ruminate about ruminating about why I have intrusive thoughts. That's what wells up all the fear and anxiety. It's like looking in a mirror when there is another mirror behind you, the rumination train is endless! I know Im literally not capable of what the thoughts show me, but it's tough to learn to sit in the uncertainty and let the thoughts move through.
That sounds so difficult, kw670! Thank you for opening up and sharing! Your description of OCD and intrusive thoughts is spot on - I can so perfectly picture that endless rumination train running with zero end in sight. I know that sitting in uncertainty is very tough, but it's also the best way to prevent that train from keeping you from living your best life!
I needed to see this right now! Thank you so much! Well personally, especially after calming down from an intrusive thought, i like to listen to music as it both brings peace and uplifts me. Random comedy videos on YouTube also helps, or a read from my favourite poetry. :)
I am so happy to hear this post was in perfect timing for you, Leo127; we all definitely need that reminder to be kind to ourselves! I love all these self-care ideas - I may have to try them out myself!
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I do too. I love massages, petting my dog, hiking.
These are great self-care ideas, Razz14! I hope you are able to implement some today!!
I love a good book, a massage or a nice lavender bath with music to meditate and epsom salt
Yes! These are all fantastic self-care options, Itzjuzash. I hope you are able to utilize one (or all) of these options today as a little self-care for getting through the week!
I like to take a hot bath, drink an espresso or go get a massage for self care. So deserved. We go through enough having ocd.
Yes, I 100% agree. We are all so deserving of self care!
i cooked fresh pasta and took a relaxing warm shower
Sounds delicious and relaxing, Isaac1999!!
I’m having a really rough day. Someone beside me used my office at work all weekend. Everything was all over the place when I got in this morning. I couldn’t start any work till everything was correctly placed I hate when other people touch and move my stuff :/ Then in my job (which they gave me no training) I am planning an event and I just got all these files of documents to filled out and I have no clue what I’m doing. They act like I should know how to do the job and everything it entails. My brain will not stop worrying about me getting fired because I can’t preform my job but they never taught me. I’m beating myself up because I feel like I’m failing crashing and burning. Really appreciate this post I think I’m going to treat myself to dinner somewhere good with my wife tonight. I just need to tell the Phantom (My OCD) to back off.
@The Phantom Take a long, deep breath. Take your day one second at a time and do only one thing at a time. If you catch yourself beating yourself up, bring yourself back gently and without judgement. Whether you're a friend to yourself or cruel to yourself, everything around you will be exactly the same. Choose self compassion. Don't be afraid to ask them every question you have. If you’re unclear if you did something right, ask them to check it. Put it on them. Express that you care about your work and doing a good job, but you feel undertrained. Showing you're trying and telling management you want to get your job done right is usually good enough. If managers can't help a worker who is expressing a desire to do well but is confused, the problem isn't you (and they shouldn't be managers.)
I am so sorry to hear about your tough day! Everything you described would absolutely be a trigger for me as well! I love all of Brendan's advice and would also encourage you to give yourself compassion. Starting a new job is so tough and OCD loves to attack anything remotely new or uncomfortable. Keep doing your best to sit with the uncertainty and practice your ERP. It sounds like a good dinner with your wife is a wonderful treat I hope you get to enjoy!!
❤️🫶
I came to my parents today and played cards and am now doing a puzzle but the thoughts and fear are still with me, I hate this illness its driving me nuts xx
Those are great self-care ideas! I'm sorry to hear that OCD has decided it needs to tag along on your self-care. That sounds frustrating! May I ask, are you currently working with an ERP specialist to help with these thoughts and fears?
@I wont let ocd win Mine I think is medium ocd
@ I am kind of in recovery but am having a bad set back I have another session next week, which I can't wait for.
@I wont let ocd win - Thank you for sharing! Setbacks can be so frustrating! I'm happy to hear that you have a session next week with your therapist. Might I suggest attending a support group or participating in one of our Youtube lives in the meantime? It's a great way to gain some encouragement from others on this journey!
Stop hating myself
I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with feelings of self-hatred! This is something I can very much relate to prior to OCD recovery. OCD seeps into our core and it can become so easy to be our own worst enemy. Please know that you are not alone on this journey and you are so worthy of self-love and self-respect! You are a resilient person, an OCD warrior!
What is something you say to yourself or do that helps you get through OCD?
Hey everyone, How has your week been ? Is there anything you have achieved and feel proud to share ? Also, if you haven’t achieved something you was wanting, let’s hear about it also so we can all support you. With another weekend fast upon us, I realised how poor I’ve been with self care in recent weeks! The quote “you can’t poor from an empty cup” is so true and made me realised how important it is to take even 5 minutes out every now and then to recharge and connect with your self. It can be super hard to do this when battling with OCD I understand completely but it’s also super important we try as we are all worth it and use a lot of energy when anxious with OCD. I can remember when I was really struggling at the start of my journey, I would try to doodle as I loved this, it helped and allowed me to also reflect how strong I can be and have been before as well as taking some time out. Your all worth it, important, kind and amazing. Take some time out this weekend for yourselves. 🙂
Hey guys. So I just had a pretty big relapse in my ocd, the first one since I started going to therapy. At first it was hard to accept that I had gone back to old patterns, but I’m trying to look at it as a chance to do better for myself this time. A chance to handle it with compassion, kindness and regard for myself rather than the disgust and shame I felt during my first big ocd episode. Here are some things I’ve been doing that have helped: Epsom salt baths- what I’ve realized is that it doesn’t serve me to be anxious all the time. I need to calm my body down so I can feel hunger, and have moments of clarity. And these baths help a lot - the magnesium really helps relax and give you a moment to be comfortable in your body. Remember to eat and drink enough water. Right now, your mind is running wild and your body is responding as if it’s in fight or flight mode- make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Gratitude practice- I know that it can seem really hard to find the positive during a really intense OCD episode. But what I’ve found is that if I make the effort to recognize the good in my life, even if it’s as small as “I had the money to buy myself some epsom salts to take care of myself” or “I’m grateful for that sunset I just saw” has helped me keep my spirits more alive even if my brain wants to pull me into rumination. Crying - let yourself have a release. One thing I like to do is imagine my mom or an older version of myself coming in the room and comforting me. It helps to imagine what you would say to a loved one that just had the day you had. For example: if my head really hurts from ruminating all day - I’ll take the time to drink water and take some medicine. Then I’ll think about what I would say to someone who dealt with the stress, anxiety, and rumination that I just had that day. Well a lot of times (and we want to stay away from reassurance with this) I’ll say to myself “I can’t tell you whether or not your obsessions are true. But I can tell you that I love you and I’m here for you no matter what.” And I find this is a great way of reinforcing your relationship with self as you learn to trust your ability to navigate difficult flare ups. Holding your own hand, being the support you need, can make the world of a difference. Doing exposures in real life. I’ve found that doing exposures have made me feel empowered again, even if that only lasts for a little bit. I’ve found that not planning exposures as much and just going about my life saying “Right now, what would I do if I didn’t have ocd?” Or being spontaneous anyways even if it feels uncomfortable has helped. Look objectively at your day. Are you spending two hours laying in bed in the morning before you get up? Maybe eliminating that or paring it down intentionally will help you reduce rumination. Taking supplements - fish oil, b6 vitamin, vitamin c, vitamin d are all ones I take every day and help keep my immune system up and my brain functioning a bit better. Keep a feelings journal. Staying in touch with your emotions is really important. I’ve found it to really help me break out of ocd as I can say to it “I hear you, OCD. But my inner child is really sad right now, and I’m going to direct my attention towards her rather than engage in rumination.” At the end of the day we can’t help what our brains might want to do. They might want to ruminate, mentally review, make us afraid and anxious and have irrational doubts. But we can control the ways that we treat ourselves, and what we direct our attention towards. May we direct our attention towards the good in our lives, towards care and love and moments of peace, because that will start to being more of that in. You know what they say “What you focus on gets bigger”. And I would say that especially if you are dealing with ocd - you deserve even more love and compassion - and hopefully I’ve been able to give you some tips that might help foster that as well. Feel free to add your own methods of dealing with OCD below. And hey, to anyone struggling through their own relapse right now - I get it. It sucks. But it’s also within your control to make it better - and I believe in you. I’m so proud of anyone out there fighting ocd right now. Fighting for the big, beautiful life that you deserve. Stay strong ❤️ You can do this.
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