- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I get that way at some point during every relationship I’ve been in. I start to get complacent and not unhappy but it feels like there’s nothing. I usually just bail on the relationship at that point but with my current boyfriend I’m sticking it out and slowly working past it. It’s help a lot to talk to my therapist about my relationship also to write down all the things that are good about the relationship. Try to go out and spend time doing things with him that bring you joy. I’m not sure if the overall numbness goes away but I know in the moment you can find happiness with your significant other.
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s 100% normal when recovering from OCD. I know that doesn’t make it any easier to go through though. Recovery has many stages. When we’re anxious, getting rid of the anxiety is all we want. Once we’re not anxious anymore, we realize NOT being anxious can be even scarier/harder. It takes awhile for real feeling to return. The thing is, just like suppressing a thought makes it more likely to happen, trying to will a feeling makes it less likely to happen. OCD is one big paradox. Give yourself permission to feel numb. You’re doing exactly what you need to and you’re doing great. Even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. Good luck ?
- Date posted
- 6y
pureolife what worries me is that I havent done anything!Literally. Im not in therapy and I havent done ERP. 2 weeks ago I felt fine for like 3 days but suddenly I started to get worried about not having anxiety and it evolved to this. Yesterday I was with my bf and as I was hugging him I thought to myself that I didnt want anybody else, but then I imagined I was hugging any other boy just to see how Id feel compared to him. So even then I think I was doing a conpulsion. Today I just woke up and I felt rrally numb and even felt like he was a stranger and that makes me feel bad because I dont want it to be that way. I want to feel normal with him again; I know that I dont want anybody else but even though I know that my brain somehow tries to trick me into believing that maybe I do.?
- Date posted
- 6y
I know exactly the feeling and thoughts you’re going through. I don’t know why but I feel like my brain is trying to trick me out of happiness. The advice I have for you is to try to push through it. And maybe consider therapy, it’s honestly so freeing to be able to openly talk about even the littlest of worries with someone that can help process and tell you why you are feeling this way or how to deal with it. For me just trying to stay positive about my relationship helps. If you are feeling numb with then maybe take a break mentally and spend some alone time reflecting on what used to make you excited about the relationship. Or if you are feeling numb when you aren’t with him, send him a text or makes plans. Make something to look forward to.
- Date posted
- 6y
The thing is that since my anxiety is gone I have started to believe that maybe I dont have rOCD and that scares me. I havent been diagnosed by a professional but I have many reasons why I believed that I have it. However, now since the anxiety has reduced Ive started to believe that if I go to see a professional they will not take it as serious because Im not having the anxiety anymore and Im just having the thoughts.
- Date posted
- 6y
Just take things day by day and honestly do not dwell on it too much, especially at once. For OCD the more you dwell and stress about it the more you worry and the worse it gets. Try, even though sometimes it seems impossible, to direct your mind to something positive. Try to find the good out of every obsession and try to not give in to your compulsions. In this scenario, don’t lose hope in your relationship. I know you’ll be able to work past these numbing and hopeless feelings
- Date posted
- 6y
Therapy is good for people who also don’t have anxiety or other disorders. I actually have never talked about my OCD in therapy. But it is still very helpful and lightens the loads of things I stress about. Everyone expresses OCD in different ways, a really common thought is that it isn’t OCD at all.
- Date posted
- 6y
If you’re not doing therapy or ERP or anything, why not start? Seems like you need to do something. Maybe start with a book on Pure O. Or find a local support group. Worrying and testing yourself won’t help. I can tell you that much.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
It hurts so much to write that. Lately, every time I talk to my boyfriend — whether it’s through text or in person — I feel this deep irritation, like everything he says or does annoys me. Sometimes, it even feels like disgust, and it’s terrifying. I don’t feel love. I don’t feel excitement. I don’t even feel sadness about not feeling anything… just numb. I look at him and I don’t feel like I used to. I don’t know what happened to me. I used to be so sure I loved him, and now I feel like a completely different person — cold, distant, empty. My brain keeps telling me: “You don’t love him anymore. You never did. You’re only staying out of habit.” My mom told me that if I don’t like him anymore, then I’m hurting both him and myself by staying in this. And hearing that broke me. Because that’s exactly what I fear — that I’m faking everything, and I just don’t want to admit the truth. I feel so lost. And I don’t know how to separate my thoughts from reality anymore. All I know is that I want to feel something again — anything. Because right now, all I feel is guilt, fear, and confusion. i used to know these thoughts are just thoughts and that if i didn’t have them i would be so happy but now, i cant think aboyr that bc the thoughts feel too real.
- Date posted
- 24w
My boyfriend just poured his heart out to me. He told me how much pain he’s in — how disconnected he feels from me, how hurt he is that we’re not intimate, that I don’t react to his love, that we don’t feel like a couple anymore. He said things that should’ve broken my heart… but I felt nothing. Nothing. And now I’m terrified. Not just scared — destroyed by the thought that maybe I really don’t love him, and I’ve just been lying to myself this entire time. I keep thinking: “If I loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?” “Why didn’t I cry? Why didn’t I reach for him? Why didn’t I say ‘I’m sorry’?” “What kind of person listens to someone they care about and feels absolutely nothing?” I feel like I’ve been fighting this for so long — like I’ve spent months, maybe even years, battling the same thoughts over and over again: “You don’t love him.” “You’re just used to him.” “You want to want him — but you don’t.” And what makes it worse is that everyone around me says the same thing: “Maybe you’re forcing it.” “You can’t control how you feel.” “If you’re this confused, that means something.” But what no one seems to understand is that I’ve tried so hard. I didn’t want this. I didn’t choose to become cold. I didn’t choose to stop feeling things. I didn’t want to lose my ability to love — or to connect — or to just exist next to him without questioning every single breath I take. I feel like I’ve become someone else. Someone who doesn’t react. Someone who doesn’t smile when he’s kind. Someone who doesn’t feel warmth when he says “I love you.” But this isn’t who I was. There was a time when I loved hearing his voice. When I looked forward to seeing him. When I felt. And now… nothing. Just this endless cycle of doubt, guilt, numbness, fear, and the horrible thought: “If it feels this real, maybe it is.” I don’t know what this is anymore. I feel like I’m hurting him. And I feel like I’m losing myself, too. And the most terrifying part? I don’t feel anything about that either. But if I truly didn’t care — why does this hurt so much? If anyone else has ever felt like this… please, please tell me I’m not alone. I don’t want this to be the truth. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this.
- Date posted
- 20w
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
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