- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I get that way at some point during every relationship I’ve been in. I start to get complacent and not unhappy but it feels like there’s nothing. I usually just bail on the relationship at that point but with my current boyfriend I’m sticking it out and slowly working past it. It’s help a lot to talk to my therapist about my relationship also to write down all the things that are good about the relationship. Try to go out and spend time doing things with him that bring you joy. I’m not sure if the overall numbness goes away but I know in the moment you can find happiness with your significant other.
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s 100% normal when recovering from OCD. I know that doesn’t make it any easier to go through though. Recovery has many stages. When we’re anxious, getting rid of the anxiety is all we want. Once we’re not anxious anymore, we realize NOT being anxious can be even scarier/harder. It takes awhile for real feeling to return. The thing is, just like suppressing a thought makes it more likely to happen, trying to will a feeling makes it less likely to happen. OCD is one big paradox. Give yourself permission to feel numb. You’re doing exactly what you need to and you’re doing great. Even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. Good luck ?
- Date posted
- 6y
pureolife what worries me is that I havent done anything!Literally. Im not in therapy and I havent done ERP. 2 weeks ago I felt fine for like 3 days but suddenly I started to get worried about not having anxiety and it evolved to this. Yesterday I was with my bf and as I was hugging him I thought to myself that I didnt want anybody else, but then I imagined I was hugging any other boy just to see how Id feel compared to him. So even then I think I was doing a conpulsion. Today I just woke up and I felt rrally numb and even felt like he was a stranger and that makes me feel bad because I dont want it to be that way. I want to feel normal with him again; I know that I dont want anybody else but even though I know that my brain somehow tries to trick me into believing that maybe I do.?
- Date posted
- 6y
I know exactly the feeling and thoughts you’re going through. I don’t know why but I feel like my brain is trying to trick me out of happiness. The advice I have for you is to try to push through it. And maybe consider therapy, it’s honestly so freeing to be able to openly talk about even the littlest of worries with someone that can help process and tell you why you are feeling this way or how to deal with it. For me just trying to stay positive about my relationship helps. If you are feeling numb with then maybe take a break mentally and spend some alone time reflecting on what used to make you excited about the relationship. Or if you are feeling numb when you aren’t with him, send him a text or makes plans. Make something to look forward to.
- Date posted
- 6y
The thing is that since my anxiety is gone I have started to believe that maybe I dont have rOCD and that scares me. I havent been diagnosed by a professional but I have many reasons why I believed that I have it. However, now since the anxiety has reduced Ive started to believe that if I go to see a professional they will not take it as serious because Im not having the anxiety anymore and Im just having the thoughts.
- Date posted
- 6y
Just take things day by day and honestly do not dwell on it too much, especially at once. For OCD the more you dwell and stress about it the more you worry and the worse it gets. Try, even though sometimes it seems impossible, to direct your mind to something positive. Try to find the good out of every obsession and try to not give in to your compulsions. In this scenario, don’t lose hope in your relationship. I know you’ll be able to work past these numbing and hopeless feelings
- Date posted
- 6y
Therapy is good for people who also don’t have anxiety or other disorders. I actually have never talked about my OCD in therapy. But it is still very helpful and lightens the loads of things I stress about. Everyone expresses OCD in different ways, a really common thought is that it isn’t OCD at all.
- Date posted
- 6y
If you’re not doing therapy or ERP or anything, why not start? Seems like you need to do something. Maybe start with a book on Pure O. Or find a local support group. Worrying and testing yourself won’t help. I can tell you that much.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
- Date posted
- 22w
I’m in such a dark place right now. No matter what I do with my boyfriend — kissing, hugging, cuddling, talking — I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. And every time, my brain says: “That’s it. It’s the truth. You don’t love him anymore.” I keep thinking I’m forcing myself to act like I still like him just because I can’t accept the truth — that maybe I fell out of love and don’t want to admit it. When he calls me beautiful, when he’s kind to me, when he holds me… I feel numb. And that numbness makes me feel like a stranger in my own life. Like I’m faking everything. Like I’m lying to him and to myself. It feels too real. I used to have moments — even during intrusive thoughts — where I would relax in his arms and feel safe and reminded that this is ROCD. But now… even those moments feel gone. Like the thoughts aren’t lies anymore — they feel like the truth. And I don’t know what to do with that. My therapist made things worse. She told me things that made me believe I’ve mentally “decided” I have to be with him, and that I’m wrong for thinking it’s bad to walk away. Now I feel like I’ve built my entire relationship on an idea that I should stay, not that I want to. I feel like I’ve changed. I remember moments of deep love, warmth, and closeness… but now I can’t feel them anymore. And all I hear in my head is “you’re different now. It’s over.” I’m exhausted. I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I’m not even crying anymore — I’m just… empty. What if this is the truth I’ve been avoiding all along? What if I just can’t accept that I stopped loving him? What if this relationship is no longer right, and I’m just pretending? This is the worst it’s ever been. I’ve never felt this far gone before.
- Date posted
- 21w
I feel like I’m falling apart. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He’s kind, loving, supportive — and I know he loves me deeply. But I can’t feel anything anymore. I sit next to him, and I feel numb. I kiss him, and it feels empty. I remember how I used to feel, and now… nothing. It terrifies me. The worst part is that I don’t even know what’s real anymore. I constantly question if I ever loved him, if I’m just forcing things out of guilt or fear. Sometimes I imagine breaking up, and I feel nothing — and that scares me even more. I keep thinking: if I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel it? I’ve read about ROCD. I want to believe that’s what this is. But the thoughts feel so real. And I can’t stop spiraling. My therapist didn’t help — she made me feel like maybe I was lying to myself. My mom either tells me to stop overthinking or gets angry. I have no one to really talk to. If anyone here has been through this — through the numbness, the “what if I never loved him?” thoughts, the feeling like it’s all fake — please tell me how you got through. I’m exhausted. I just want to feel peace again.
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