xMariax
- Date posted
- 6y
sam121sam121
- Date posted
- 6y
I get that way at some point during every relationship I’ve been in. I start to get complacent and not unhappy but it feels like there’s nothing. I usually just bail on the relationship at that point but with my current boyfriend I’m sticking it out and slowly working past it. It’s help a lot to talk to my therapist about my relationship also to write down all the things that are good about the relationship. Try to go out and spend time doing things with him that bring you joy. I’m not sure if the overall numbness goes away but I know in the moment you can find happiness with your significant other.
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s 100% normal when recovering from OCD. I know that doesn’t make it any easier to go through though. Recovery has many stages. When we’re anxious, getting rid of the anxiety is all we want. Once we’re not anxious anymore, we realize NOT being anxious can be even scarier/harder. It takes awhile for real feeling to return. The thing is, just like suppressing a thought makes it more likely to happen, trying to will a feeling makes it less likely to happen. OCD is one big paradox. Give yourself permission to feel numb. You’re doing exactly what you need to and you’re doing great. Even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. Good luck ?
xMariaxxMariax
- Date posted
- 6y
pureolife what worries me is that I havent done anything!Literally. Im not in therapy and I havent done ERP. 2 weeks ago I felt fine for like 3 days but suddenly I started to get worried about not having anxiety and it evolved to this. Yesterday I was with my bf and as I was hugging him I thought to myself that I didnt want anybody else, but then I imagined I was hugging any other boy just to see how Id feel compared to him. So even then I think I was doing a conpulsion. Today I just woke up and I felt rrally numb and even felt like he was a stranger and that makes me feel bad because I dont want it to be that way. I want to feel normal with him again; I know that I dont want anybody else but even though I know that my brain somehow tries to trick me into believing that maybe I do.?
sam121sam121
- Date posted
- 6y
I know exactly the feeling and thoughts you’re going through. I don’t know why but I feel like my brain is trying to trick me out of happiness. The advice I have for you is to try to push through it. And maybe consider therapy, it’s honestly so freeing to be able to openly talk about even the littlest of worries with someone that can help process and tell you why you are feeling this way or how to deal with it. For me just trying to stay positive about my relationship helps. If you are feeling numb with then maybe take a break mentally and spend some alone time reflecting on what used to make you excited about the relationship. Or if you are feeling numb when you aren’t with him, send him a text or makes plans. Make something to look forward to.
xMariaxxMariax
- Date posted
- 6y
The thing is that since my anxiety is gone I have started to believe that maybe I dont have rOCD and that scares me. I havent been diagnosed by a professional but I have many reasons why I believed that I have it. However, now since the anxiety has reduced Ive started to believe that if I go to see a professional they will not take it as serious because Im not having the anxiety anymore and Im just having the thoughts.
sam121sam121
- Date posted
- 6y
Just take things day by day and honestly do not dwell on it too much, especially at once. For OCD the more you dwell and stress about it the more you worry and the worse it gets. Try, even though sometimes it seems impossible, to direct your mind to something positive. Try to find the good out of every obsession and try to not give in to your compulsions. In this scenario, don’t lose hope in your relationship. I know you’ll be able to work past these numbing and hopeless feelings
sam121sam121
- Date posted
- 6y
Therapy is good for people who also don’t have anxiety or other disorders. I actually have never talked about my OCD in therapy. But it is still very helpful and lightens the loads of things I stress about. Everyone expresses OCD in different ways, a really common thought is that it isn’t OCD at all.
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 6y
If you’re not doing therapy or ERP or anything, why not start? Seems like you need to do something. Maybe start with a book on Pure O. Or find a local support group. Worrying and testing yourself won’t help. I can tell you that much.
Related posts
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 21w
rocd is awful
I don’t understand why I don’t feel happy, why my mind keeps making me think so negatively about him. Nothing makes me feel joy anymore. I keep thinking that he’s stupid, that I don’t like him, and when he speaks kindly to me, I feel nothing. The worst part is that I feel completely numb, like I have no emotions at all. And that makes me think that maybe I really don’t like him, that I will eventually reach a point where I realize my worst fear is true. I keep fighting with him because of my attitude. I treat him badly, and I know it’s because of my thoughts. I can’t see the good in anything. Today, he told me that I would be better off without him because I always seem so sad. He moved to my city for university just to be with me, and instead of making his life better, I feel like I’m making it worse. The thoughts don’t stop, even when I’m with him. I see people posting about how they feel calm when they’re with their partners, but I don’t. I can’t look at him without having intrusive thoughts, and I can’t even kiss him. Today, he told me that he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, that I treat him poorly. I am constantly afraid because I feel nothing when he says things to me, because I don’t feel like I care. When I look at pictures of us from when I was in a better place, I feel like I was a completely different person. I start thinking that I’ve “matured” and that’s why I don’t feel anything anymore—like maybe I only liked him because I was young and naïve. Everything he does and says irritates me, but he loves me. What if I’m only with him because I don’t want to hurt him? What if I’m just used to him? I feel scared all the time. I don’t understand what’s happening. He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place . He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place
Itsybitsyspider
- Date posted
- 18w
Need help
For the past like 4 months, my ROCD has been getting worse and worse. I’ve been on lexapro for about 1.5 months now and it’s basically gotten rid of my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. But now I’m stuck with the constant feeling of not loving my bf. At this point I can’t even recognize him as someone I love. Like I will stare at him and try to feel something or recognize him but I feel nothing. It feels like I don’t love him anymore, but I don’t want to give up. I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t know if it’s still the ocd and the medication is making it worse or if I’m truly just falling out of love with him. While not being on the verge of a panic attack and ruminating 24/7 is great, i feel like I’ve lost my identity and my emotions.
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 18w
i am disconnected rocd
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
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