I just found out that my girlfriend (we just broke up a few weeks ago) has feelings some feelings for this other girl and I think she has been emotiomally cheating on me. She was ditching class with this person and someone else every week for months and I had no idea, went to her house, recently had visited her at work, and the girl was confronted and knew my ex girlfriend was giving off some sort of flirty vibe. I feel humiliated and anxious and defeated finding this out. She kind of did this disappearing thing with someone else a few months ago and I freaked out but then apparently nothing was happening. I feel stupid because she would talk about this girl sometimes, they were texting all the time, she asked if she could give her one of our plants, then the girl gave her a gift that was a little to deep for me to think it was just a friend. My girlfriend and I had lived with eachother, been dating for 4 1/2 years, and everything was seemingly going amazing until she mentioned that she feels unhappy being in a relationship right now and wants to be alone to discover more about herself (I’m 19, she’s 21), but I had believed her when she was seemingly not making this a big deal. But then I had it confirmed from her mouth through soemone that she said she has some feelings. We were supposed to talk in August and talk about possibly getting back together after taking a few months apart, but when I found this out I blocked her on everything and decided that I wasn’t going to give her that chance after she wasn’t honest with me. I’m left feeling more anxious than ever, having a fear of depression but feeling sad, OCD coming back a little, haven’t wanted to drive, suicide OCD, etc etc. i’m really really sad because I really did everything for this girl, would have done anything for her, and am extremely in love with her. Even her mom saw me as family and thought we might get married in the future. We were very close. All this sudden she’s changed so quickly and started to act like someone I didn’t know, distancing herself from me, but I don’t know how to get over being so f*cking in love with her and knowing she has feelings for someone. I asked her to tell me up front if the break up was about anyone else so I could move on and she honestly said it’s not, and that it’s about her feeling lost with herself. I believed everything she was saying, but she also said she was content with certain things in our relationship and said our relationship didn’t have any problems and that it was her, but she talked about things she didn’t like about our relationship to a friend, so she lied about that. How can I rebuild my trust? I am more anxious and hurt than ever right now, can’t even sleep

pureolife

Date posted: 6y

Hey ?? I’m really sorry you’re feeling all of this. I can relate! I want to point something out: at the end of your post after you demonstrated to us again and again that your gf is not up front with you, shares half-truths, and lies (which you’ve confirmed through third-parties multiple times) you asked how YOU can rebuild trust. The thing is, it’s not up to you to keep trusting a liar. It’s up to your gf to own up to her lies, make amends, and do the actual work it takes to EARN your trust again. My guess: she has no interest in doing that. You don’t need to rebuild trust with this person. You need to find a new person worthy of your trust. I know you love this person, and that’s not going to go away overnight. But you can both love this person AND recognize that without trust this isn’t a relationship worth putting your heart and soul into. Your heart and soul deserves better. It deserves someone who appreciates it and demonstrates that by being open, honest, and communicative with you. Drink some tea, read a good book or watch a funny tv show. Sleep may be elusive tonight but you can try to make yourself more comfortable at least.

bbgurl

Date posted: 6y

@pureolife I really really appreciate this, I know my post was long, thank you for reading it and giving me this piece of advice ?? I just referred since I’m feeling down and it gave me an extra boost of light

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