Feeling really alone. I feel like I’ve burned out my friends with my OCD so now when I have even a non OCD issue come up, they’re already starting off on an annoyed foot. Just feeling really alone and sad right now. My grandma was my best friend and she died in 2021 and I just have felt lost since. Like no one left on this earth really loves me
That’s not true! I don’t know you but I know that you are so worthy of love.
@Cassandragoth Thank you 💕
I’m here if you ever need a friend who understands how sucky OCD can be. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way :( there are people who love you!
@ashleyrenee Thank you. Yes, would love to have a friend who understands OCD ❤️
@OCDMM I have Discord if you want to add me! My username is RotundHedgehog#1251
I’m sorry things aren’t going exceptionally smoothly with your friends right now. OCD sucks because it *can* be really frustrating to others, and I’m saying that to be sympathetic to both you and your friends. But if your friends did not care or did not love you they would be ambivalent about your problems. “Frustration” on their part stems from your own frustrations, so that’s an extension of them caring for and about you. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your grandma—I lost my dad last year as well and these things can definitely make one’s OCD rear its ugly head high. Just know that you made friends with these people somewhere along the line in your life and you haven’t met everyone in your life who will love you, either. You have a right to feel your feelings and so do your friends—they might feel frustrated right now, but if they could only look into the mind of an OCD sufferer, they’d see that their irritation pales in comparison to the harmful ways we think about ourselves in the first place. Remember that your grandma’s love for you isn’t going anywhere either: she might not be here with us anymore but the impact she has and will continue to have on your life and the lessons you two have learned together are always going to be with you.
@goshawk Thank you so much for your response. I totally get why they’re frustrated. I’m not really mad at them, just feeling hurt by it and it feels isolating. I try to think of my grandparents and how much they loved me and hope they would be proud of me today. I get stuck thinking all of the happy times in my life are in the past. I lost my dog of 14 years this last year and it felt unbearable. He was the one who got me through some terrible times. I have another dog I adopted a few years ago. We don’t have the same bond I had with my big dog but I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s become my companion and comfort
@OCDMM Animals are perfect <3 I’m sorry about your losses but I promise you that your idea that you’ve run your gamut of happy times is not true. Life has its ups and downs and sometimes I believe the downs are specially designed for us to make emotional breakthroughs for ourselves. You’ve gone through some really difficult losses and have probably felt lost during and after them, and you might feel energetically down, but try to imagine this state as your resting period where you take slow, intentional stock of the things you have under your belt. With each loss you experience you are more and more prepared for the next ones and find more threads of your own strength and veracity to depend on: the loss doesn’t ever go away but you slowly learn how to grow bigger around it. The idea that you’re worried that there will be no more good, happy, energetic periods of your life is a sign of your inner desire to experience another good time, and it will come right when it’s needed, I promise. Your friends still love you and want you around and as you grow and experience new things the warmth of people around you will grow as well. Just try your best to be as understanding and kind and forgiving to yourself as you would want to be to your best most cherished and dear friend.
@goshawk Thank you. I really needed to hear all of this ❤️
@OCDMM Because of OCD I've alienated myself to the point that for days the only phonecalls I would get are from scam callers. If anyone wants to talk I would be happy to hear your story. I get it how you feel.
I’d be willing to do a discord or something. I had a bad experience giving my number out so I’m hesitant to do so again 😢
girl i did the same thing with my friends, honestly idk what to do either, but there’s a lot of other people in this world you can make new friends, new connections & im sorry for ur loss, grieving is the hardest, so hoping the best for you love, feeling alone is okay, just go out even if it means going out alone, you may run into someone & end up being best friends, who knows!! treat yourself, you deserve it :))
@ch3ri_lady Thank you, I’m just a mess. I want to make new friends but as an adult it seems impossible. I have no idea where to meet anyone. I told myself in the New Year I would start going out even if it’s by myself. Thank you for your response ❤️
I’ve never really had friends, so I haven’t experienced this. I’ve though I must act strangely, without realizing it, which I feel had driven people away from me.
@Matthew L. Hi Matthew, it can be so hard to make friends. I’m sorry to hear you feel that people are driven away. Most of my friends have been my friends since middle or high school and we have remained friends. I am grateful for them but they’ve had years of my struggle to put up with. I only started therapy in the last couple years for OCD. Are you in therapy? They may be able to help you with this aspect of your life. I’ve never really brought it up in therapy except for that I should try to remain seeking reassurance in the first place because it keeps me trapped in the OCD cycle
@OCDMM Refrain from
Same here brother! I tried many times to talk to my highschool friends, trying to reconnect, nobody really cares.
@OCDMM I never had friends during my high school years. I missed a lot of school, staying home because of my OCD. At school I didn’t fit in. That’s great you maintained friendships. Nice they put up with you seeking reassurance. I’ve seen a number of psychiatrists for OCD. I have a psychiatrist who has me on meds for OCD and depression. Plus I have NOCD therapist. I don’t seek reassurance anymore from others. Thanks for reading this. I guess I’ll always wish I had friends.
@Vit Strangely, I’ve been messaging people I knew in high school on Facebook. Surprisingly some of them respond to me.
@Matthew L. I stopped trying, seemed like it was 1 sided struggle. If you ever wanna talk, I'm here.
@Matthew L. I missed a ton of school also because of my OCD in middle/ high school. Kids were so cruel about it and always called me a faker. I went on Paxil and my sophomore year it was life changing. Unfortunately it came back pretty bad in early college. My one friend now was pretty crappy to me back then but we got past it later in high school. We were friends in middle school while I was doing ok. I’m here as well if you need someone to talk to. We should all start an OCD friend discord, I hear other people on here talking about it.
@OCDMM Fortunately kids never questioned me being out so much, although I wonder what they might’ve thought. They didn’t talk to me. I was on many antidepressants during those years. I graduated on time and went to college. I made it through a couple semesters. I took 2 med leaves, didn’t graduate. I did make the Dean’s List😀
@Matthew L. Good job on Dean’s list! School was always kind of a good distraction for me. I ended up going for years while working getting degrees because it helped with my OCD so much. I spent so much time and money I didn’t need to, though. When I was finally done I struggled a lot. Then I started working 50-60 hours a week instead
@OCDMM Thanks. That’s great you were able to go to school and earn degrees. Also that you’re working is great. School gave me such OCD anxiety. Dealing with school work was hard, handing in assignments and getting them back. Also, I could take exams, however turning them in after I was done was hard. Reading text books became impossible. However, OCD tendencies I have now, I didn’t have then.
@Matthew L. Yeah, my OCD tends to strike when I stop working. It’s almost impossible for me to watch tv, play video games, do jigsaw puzzles, cook. I just try to work as long as I can and then get tired enough to sleep. I sleep a ton on the weekends
@OCDMM I can understand a little bit. When I’m doing something, it’s a bit better, but just sitting sometimes, with tv, I can’t relax.
I'm ok with giving my phone number if someone wants to talk and share some doubts.
I understand, sorry you had bad experience. I offered that cause it easier to stay in touch.
I don’t really have many friends and I feel like everyone I know hates me and idk if it’s part of my ocd or just other anxiety or depression but it makes me very sad :(
I really don't have best friends ocd ruins every friendship and I really feel alone and depressed
I’m feeling very alone lately, no one to relate to , no one to really understand. I feel like these days it’s so hard to find real friendships that help with how hard life is lately . Sometimes I get so scared that I’m going to end it all one day just out of no where because of how overwhelmed I feel .
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