My OCD doesn't even feel like OCD. It feels like i'm lying to myself and blaming it on OCD. I always ruminate and try and think back on the events that happened and these images pop into my head and these will be the last memory I have of it. It becomes false memory's. It feels real but not at the same time and I can't differentiate the two. I need help. I want to take my brain out of my head because it's just a constant battle in my head.
Yes. the ocd struggle i'm dealing with now is cheating ocd. I went to a bar but i went sober because i knew my ocd would of been worse and it convinced me I kissed someone. I even had my friends tell me I didn't and retell the events of the night but no matter how many people tell me the truth my ocd convinces me otherwise. I deep down know the truth but it's hard because your thoughts, emotions, memories are in your brain along with OCD. It helps knowing i'm not alone. Thank you!!
I have the same issue, I always feel like I'm being dishonest to my gf, but when I talk to family and friends they all say not to confess because what I did isn't that bad or bad at all. But OCD makes us feel otherwise, and makes me feel like I need to confess constantly. All I can say is to go easy on yourself, and know that you're not the only one feeling this way ā„ļø
Currently relapsing because of this. There came a time when my boyfriend & I were distant & I was depressed & sought male validation outside from our relationship. I can't help but feel guilty. & It sucks cause even if I confess, there is always something that I get reminded of & can't help but feel like my boyfriend deserves better. Like I'm always gonna have something to hide or have cheated on him, even though I know I didn't. :/ & When I'm happy, I have this guilt in the back of my head.
confessing always only provides temporary relief and then it comes back. I think it helps knowing that you are not alone in your struggles. I believe you. I believe you didn't cheat. deep down you know you didn't cheat. OCD likes to attack the things that you care about most because it knows you better than anyone. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I am here if you ever need to talk.
Thank you so much š¤ I have confessed the worst to my boyfriend & he forgave me. Loves me even more. Yet it's so hard to forgive yourself. Thank you, happy to know I'm are not alone in this. You can do it as well. We believe in you. & We can only be better. C:
False memory are such a trouble for me and so hard to deal with.. but youāre strong !!
I struggle with this a lot! I am happily married to the man of my dreams. We have been married for over 3 years and 2 1/2 years ago I was with old friends. I was so drunk and thought it was fun to jump in a pool and was in a bra and underwear in front of my ex. I have been beating myself up over this. I have felt extreme guilt and shame for not being a good wife. Every time I feel happy I remind myself that I shouldnāt and that my husband deserves better. Not sure how to get past it quite honestly. It haunts me every day and I just canāt forgive myself.
How do you know it's a false memory/OCD and not something that actually happened? I feel like a terrible person. I'm a very creative person, and the more I stress about whether I did this bad thing the more it seems real. The worst part is is that I have no way of reassurance without sounding crazy. I have ROCD and I randomly started obsessing over the 7 months of our relationship whether or not I've cheated on him. Even though I love him more than anything and I would never do that! I'm constantly triggered by coworkers or classmates that I've previously found attractive or liked and/or I know they've liked me or flirted with me. I'm at the point now where I'm rereading simple texts/straightforward texts of these people asking me about school work or if I could cover a shift trying to find proof of something I can't remember. My partner knows about my OCD and is very understanding and supportive. I feel like I'm living a lie. When this first started my rational brain knew this wasn't real, but the more I become obsessed the more it becomes more distorted. I feel guilty for being happy. I just want to be guaranteed it's not real so I can move on with my life. It's moving to specific people now and it's scaring me how real it feels.
Does anyone have any recommendations of how to fight back cheating ocd / false memory rumination? Iām continuously ruminating over past experiences/events (struggling with false memory ocd too) and whether I acted inappropriately or did something bad. All revolves around cheating and feeling guilty that I did something wrong and donāt remember it or twisting up the story in my head. This rumination has been nagging me for months!! I have a very outgoing and bubbly personality and get worried if I come off as flirting to other men when Iām really just being myself and not trying to flirt. For context, Iāve been in a relationship with my partner for over 4.5 years and we recently got engaged. I love him so much and just donāt want to do anything wrong to jeopardize our relationship.
anyone have any tips to deal with false memory cheating ocd? for example the worry if i did something bad in the past and my brain forgot about it or suppressed the memory. I always feel anxiety and guilt and on edge and always anticipating my next thought, wondering if itās gonna be a āflashbackā of me doing something bad such as cheating. i havenāt had any real evidence, just irrational things and false memories for the most part ive debunked most, but sometimes the false memory gets so extreme and bad and i can end up believing i did it if I donāt find hard solid evidence that I did not do it.
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