i just want to go to sleep for my classes in the morning but i still feel the need to do all of these compulsions or said thing will happen. this is so exhausting i want out of this routine based lifestyle. it has become debilitating.
Hi Stacie - the thoughts and compulsions and what ifs and anxiety and fear take such a toll on our mind + our bodies. Sometimes it left me exhausted and sometimes it left me wired. Are you in therapy for OCD? I know the fear makes you feel like you have to do compulsions, but you don’t have to do them and you can resist them! Truthfully, compulsions only keep us locked in the OCD cycle. Keep in mind this feeling/anxiety won’t last forever, so just try your best to weather the storm. And know that help is out there!
I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with insomnia because of compulsions. This was definitely an issue for me as well. I see that you stated that you can't afford care at this time. Hopefully you will be able to one day soon. Have you looked into programs that the IOCDF may provide on there site? You may be able to find a therapist that accepts a sliding scale for care there. https://iocdf.org/find-help/
I have not but I will check it out, thank you!!
Absolutely! You're welcome!
I am sorry to hear this, it can be so exhausting. As I am typing this, even after years of living in recovery, I find myself exhausted by the day-to-day things of life. I think when you have OCD it just magnifies everything. The good news though is that there is hope and help available. I would highly recommend ERP if you haven't already done so, this can help you learn to resist the compulsions and allow the discomfort of the fear to be present and to pass on its own- its a process but it does work wonders. Best wishes to you.
Thank you! I am actually not in therapy due to financial reasonings I would love to but right now for me it’s just to expensive.
i wanna fucking scream and cry over my intrusive thoughts. it's incredibly disturbing and won't stop. i can't stop it. i can't not perform a compulsion(every though it only makes them worse, and i can't ignore it. i hate this. i hate myself. i just want to go to sleep without thinking about this please. i feel so sick and ashamed of myself. i'm genuinely so scared i'm gonna hurt someone. idk what to do anymore. i just want help.
Such a scared feeling right now I was doing a compulsion and then I don’t know what my thought was but all of a sudden I realized it wasn’t really a thought and I spaced out and then of course now my ocd is telling making like I’m not real or something and now I’m really disassociated and feel like I need to get up and go do my compulsion one more time or my entire day will be off tomorrow.
It feels like my OCD is determined to steal everything I love. It’s so exhausting to have to fight myself all the time.
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