R word ocd

@thrutheweather We started dating in may 2021 and I feel like I’m 2022 . Some months ago , we’ve had a better understanding and better boundaries

@Tiredoflife In**

@thrutheweather Great response

^ If your concerns are not heard or respected

@LesGo Idk if my other reply got sent but ima say my thoughts again but wiht less words . Me and my bf were both virgins when we entered our relationship . So there was a lot of asking when will we have sex for the firs time and I would tell him I’m not ready and he would just drop it . He actually waited like 2 or 3months until we actually decided to have sex but in the mean time he would sometimes keep talking about sex . He was kinda always talking about sex . I could be over exaggerating bc I do have ocd . But yeah . But he beg me to try anal one time and I gave in. But I dont think it’s r word .

@LesGo But almost two years later we have boundaries and a better understanding. So I’m fine . He’s not how he was in the beginning

@Tiredoflife I'm glad!

@LesGo Yeah I did feel a little bit uncomfortable.

@Tiredoflife Its not bad to set your boundaries even when you've been in a relationship for a long time, it's perfectly okay too :) Try and discuss it with your bf about how it makes you feel. I hope the best for you ❤️

@LesGo I’m just worried bc a lot of ppl say coercion is r word and ppl don’t realize it until later . But I don’t think it is . At least not with my bf bc I feel like he would never keep asking and asking alot times in one sitting . Yes he has asked more than once but 50 Times has never happened.

@LesGo Yeah coercion is definitely bad . But I don’t think it’s r word . I’m not saying it can’t affect ppl in a bad way but personally I don’t think it’s r word . But it’s not okay either . And I’ve read about it on Google . Some sites say it’s not r word and then some sites say it is so idk . But personally I’m not traumatized. Maybe it did bother me a little bit but I’m not traumatized or anything . And me and my bf has set boundaries and is better . Now that we are more experienced. But he has never held me down or forced himself on me .

@Tiredoflife Alright, one thing I'll say is, don't google these answers, your situation is different from everyone else's. Im glad that your boundaries are being respected, don't get your answers from other people's situations, it will most likely cause you more doubt and anxiety, if you feel safe and respected and loved, then communicate it with your bf and forget about what others say in Google. Its between you and your bf, not the internet ❤️

@LesGo Yeah Ik Google is bad . I try to stay stay away from it . It just concern me bc it’s seems like more ppl are saying it . And they had a girl in the replies saying that it’s not r word and they are dragging her . But oh well . It’s me and my bf life and it’s my feelings. But thank you for responding I appreciate it

@Tiredoflife Your welcome, I hope you the best!

@LesGo Now I’m worried bc it seems like a lot of sites . Like organizations says it’s r word . Like it’s mainly that . Should I just leave that alone as well ? But then one site said I can talk to my partner about it if I want to maintain a relationship with them and that’s what I did but I think it’s r word .

@thrutheweather He has begged me to do anal before and I gave in but personally I don’t think it’s r*pe . And if he ever asks me to do something more than once . He’ll ask maybe like 4 times and then he’ll drop it . Or I’ll just give in fast . But idk this rarely happens . But I’m sorry I just can’t say that my bf r*pe bc I honestly don’t think did that to me . Maybe there’s levels to coercion ? I feel like my bf would never keep asking like over 10 times in on sitting until I gave . He has never threaten me to do it with him or ask over 10 Times in one sitting .

@Tiredoflife If you don’t think it’s r*pe there’s your answer, I’m not going to tell you how you feel. But STOP giving in. If you say No you mean it. You don’t need to count how many times he’s asks… if you say no that should be the end of it. Stand your ground if he keeps insisting & tell him he’s pushing your boundary. Respect goes both ways if he can’t respect your no. He doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship with you.

@Tiredoflife If you find that he’s asking and you want to have sex with him or don’t mind that’s your prerogative but where you absolutely don’t and he keeps insisting he’s not respecting your decision and you need to talk about that. Get off twitter… stop counting how many times he asks and discuss this with him.

@thrutheweather I just feel sad bc I genuinely don’t think it’s r*pe but it seems like it is even tho I don’t think it is . But ima just let it go and live my life with my bf .