I really honestly believe this isn’t ocd and that I’m just loosing my dang mind! Each day that goes by it seems to get worse idk what to do anymore I woke up from a panic attack on top of racing thoughts 😥😭
It may be really hard to do right now, but it could potentially be helpful to embrace the uncertainty around not knowing if it’s OCD. Try saying something like, “I’m feeling anxious because idk if it’s OCD, I can’t be 100% certain it is, I embrace that uncertainty and am willing to live with it happily.” Sit with those uncomfortable feelings without compulsions for as long as you can. Over time, for me, it got easier and less anxiety producing. I highly suggest getting a therapist and doing ERP if you can!
@Anon. I will for sure try this! Thank you. Also it scares me because I don’t think I do compulsions that’s another reason I kind of have doubts but I can definitely try this
@Aaanonymous What is ruminating exactly sorry if that’s a stupid question 😅
@Aaanonymous Omg well I know i do that almost all day!! Wow I didn’t even realize that’s part of a compulsion 😬
@linds123 Compulsions can be subtle and more difficult to pick out, especially when they’re mental and not physical. Usually something done in an attempt to help ease anxiety. For me, with time and practice, they became easier to pick out!
@Aaanonymous Thank you 🙏
@Anon. Yes! It’s hard very hard to figure what’s a compulsion when it’s all mental that’s why I questioned for a long time now if it’s ocd which I’m starting to realize more and more it’s definitely ocd but my ocd brain of course won’t let me accept that but I’m working on it! Lol
I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.
I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.
I used to be able to determine what was my OCD and what’s real life but now it’s all just blending together. I literally can’t tell what’s true between what’s not true. my overthinking is absolutely terrible and rituals and everything is just crumbling.
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