suicidal OCD

another thing i frequently experience with suicidal OCD is that whenever i’m doing something that should make me happy, i immediately get hit with this pit in my stomach and thoughts in my head “well don’t be happy, you’re going to commit suicide and you’re putting on a front by being happy”. for example- my dad just showed me a picture of a dog he’s looking at getting for our family. i smiled and said “AWW”, until i was immediately hit with the thoughts and the sinking feeling of “you won’t even be around when they get the dog, don’t feel happy about it. you being happy is putting up a front and lying to them.” these thoughts scare me so much and cause me so much distress, sadness, and anxiety, because they make me even more worried that i may actually be suicidal and it’s an endless circle. does anyone else experience this??

Suicidal OCD

JessieB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I’ve had these exact same thoughts!!! WTH! I’ve been searching everywhere for a way to go about with the thought to hopefully get rid of it. Any suggestions??

Juliette7476...

Date posted: 21w

@JessieB Hey, how are you doing now? What type of ERP did you do for this?

JessieB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

@Juliette7476$$$$ Much much better. My ERPS for this theme were mostly worst case scenario scripts, reading them over and over.

Juliette7476...

Date posted: 21w

@JessieB Thank you for replying, I’ve been struggling with this since November and have been doing cbt since December but have not done any ERP and I was wondering how to start with this theme. If you don’t mind me asking how detailed were your scripts? Did you include how you would do it? I just want to know how I should start my ERP. I’m a mom and I want to get this theme over with once and for all

JessieB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

@Juliette7476$$$$ Yep! Every descriptive detail. Then re read it several times a day. Are u in therapy for OCD? I would highly suggest doing it with a trained ERP therapist bc they can help catch any little sneaky compulsions that try to come in. And just remember, ERP doesn’t get rid of the thoughts. It helps you be able to just have them there and not care. 💜💜💜 one of my compulsions was trying to find ERPs to do for the theme bc I took it has it was going to heal it for good.

JessieB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

@Juliette7476$$$$ Also! If you have instagram add tabootracie she’s a NOCD therapist who also has this theme. She posts all kinds of good stuff for support. And if you are a member check out her support group

Juliette7476...

Date posted: 21w

@JessieB Im seeing an ocd specialist, he’s been giving me cbt therapy but I told him im ready to start erp and he told me to just be around the items and the people the thoughts are about, he’s not very good at creating a plan for my for erp though like starting by hierarchy which is why I want to take matters into my own hands and create an erp plan for myself. According to my therapist, my compulsion is asking for reassurance and looking up on forums about ocd to make myself feel better about my situation. Ive been doing better by not seeking reassurance, if I feel bad I just let myself feel it. Im still struggling a bit with not reading forums when I feel bad but I have noticed I have been doing it less. Im taking medication and want to take advantage by starting erp, im also struggling with acceptance, sometimes the thoughts don’t create anxiety but they bother me that they are still there. I will check out the instagram page thank you! ❤️🙏

JessieB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

@Juliette7476$$$$ I did the same! Watching OCD videos on YouTube, reading through this community board. It keeps us stuck. I had to take myself away from it all. And when you do you feel soooo much better. You should see NOCD therapist if possible. You’ve got this mama! 💪🏻

cows12465

Date posted: 24w

suic. ocd tips

so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.

cows12465

Date posted: 24w

suic. ocd advice?

cows12465

Date posted: 21w

suic ocd

the thoughts that have been making me super anxious recently is every-time I’m around someone im happy with my mind is like “they will miss you” or “they will wonder why you did it when your always happy” it’s eating me i hate it. i’m tired of this theme, it’s been on and off for three years. but it makes me more anxious now the it does before. please share tips

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

suicidal OCD

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community