Rudeness.

This is probably related to ocd, I don’t know. I’ve had obsessions about doing bad prayers. It has led to me doing some as tests I think or actually doing them. It got so complicated that I decided “I will do any prayer good or bad that comes into my head,” and I basically started constantly doing every bad prayer I could think of, thinking of why I’d want it, etc. I feel crappy, because I believe I meant some of them, which I wasn’t supposed to care about when doing this. It makes me feel like a bad person. This could be erp too, I don’t know, but I basically just compulsively let my mind go to the absolute worst places it has been and can go with no filter

Just trying to accept the uncertainty and move on.... I don't want to be bad.... I want to be a good person.... But I feel like a bad person sometimes I get horribly disgusting thoughts when I'm angry and think the most horrendous things

I’m thinking about doing erp but my ocd is so severe the thought of accepting my fears happening to me makes me sick to my stomach. I also believe in the power of my words and saying I accept this Bad thing will attract it into my life. I’m not sure what I should do🥲