just curious for those struggling with ROCD and HOCD: what are some of your intrusive thoughts ?

I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?

I am in a relationship but I cannot stop getting thoughts about this new coworker I met, my mind convinces me they are so attractive and so great and I hate it so much. My current relationship has its imperfections (as every one does) but I am so happy with her and have always been so loyal. Would OCD target those imperfections and exploit this situation? Additionally I believe I’m feeling ROCD fears of cheating but I know in every opportunity I’ve talked with other women I am loyal to my partner by bringing her up. Does anyone experience the same thing? Is this really OCD or other subconscious intrusive thinking?

i think i’m struggling with rocd but the thoughts feel so much more different than they have before. i was just wondering if the thoughts i’m going to list are also the thoughts other have had, and if so, do you have any tips to manage them? my thoughts are: “do i love my boyfriend?” “i don’t love him” “what if you don’t love him?” “i do love him” “is he the one?” “is he attractive?” “does that give you the ick?” “is this character trait of his bothersome?” “because this happened it means we aren’t compatible” “you need to break up with him” “do you want to break up with him?” “do you want to marry him?” i was just wondering because i feel so tired from trying to overcome them, that they’re just now starting to feel true. and just thoughts im gaslighting myself or that my thoughts are real and i really don’t love my boyfriend