I feel so alone.

I have been feeling very depressed. I had a 2 week break from work and you know what I did? Nothing. I stayed in bed practically every day. And it wasn’t by choice. I have no friends who care to reach out to spend time with me. I have friends, who are there for me when I need them. I know they’re loyal and will listen and if I’m down, they’re there. But they are never ever reliable to spend time with. They are in relationships and they’re the kind of girls who make their entire relationship their world. And don’t care for their outside friendships. Like great, have ur relationship but what about me? I was there when these assholes hurt u but yet u can’t spare a day to hangout? Every friend I call, which is like 3 people btw, they all ignore my calls. I had a friend who I hadn’t spoken to in months and she called me crying cuz her bf & her broke up. I was there. Now? I call her and she never answers still. They’re not back together, she just ignores me. I was gonna let he stay with me and do everything for her. But I can’t even get a call back? Really? Sometimes I just wanna talk to them for like 15 minutes when I walk my dog and they won’t pick up. People have lives I have been understanding of that. I work 40 hour weeks. My life is my job. I am becoming depressed because all I fucking do is work that even on the weekends? I pick up nanny shifts because WTF ELSE AM I GONNA DO? Nothing. I am seeing someone slightly and we hangout once a week but that’s it. It’s all i have to look forward to. But I just want friends I can call to spend time with. And I don’t wanna go look for new friends, every time I have done that, it didn’t work, they always screw me over. I’m just tired and I know ppl will say “have fun and be content on ur own” believe me, I love being alone in my bed cozy watching tv sleeping. But when I do stuff, I want to spend it with people. I like doing certain things alone but going to bars go dancing karaoke all those things I want to do with people. My friends. It’s not a big deal and doesn’t mean I’m not content alone. I am trying to live a fun life and make memories with people but it seems these ppl would rather sit at home while their boyfriends play video games than come hangout with a friend who wants to have fun. And not even go crazy but fuck have some FUN

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

Not ocd related. Just sad and venting

thrutheweather

Date posted: 2y

I felt the same 2 weeks off and I did nothing but it made me realise that I am still depressed lol. Work has just become a distraction instead of a stressor - you have to start putting yourself out there. Stop watching your friends… if they want to stay with their boyfriends let them. You go out to karaoke bars and you’ll meet new people. Go out to events and you’ll meet people. Look at local hobby groups in areas you’re interested in. You’re letting other people stop you doing things you want to.. just go do them. — You’ll adjust to work weeks. The sad reality is that it’s not possible to be with your friends/partners all the time if you work 40 hours. Once a week is pretty normal… plan to go do something when you meet that person and stop thinking about everything else. —- People shouldn’t completely neglect their friendships but romantic partners do have more priority in peoples lives that’s just how things are and it’s normal considering this is someone they plan on potentially settling down with. But again stop letting others actions seriously affect you…. You can make new friends but I think a sad reality we aren’t taught when we’re younger is how dynamics between people close to us will change once we all start working and dating. You’ll get used to that too… sometimes it isn’t personal.

veinsoul

Date posted: 25w

don’t know how much longer I can handle this

I went online today playing a social game & couldn’t rlly talk to anyone. there was this one girl that started talking but then my wifi started acting up. it’s rlly hard to talk to ppl online bc it’s tiring having to put up with rude ass people. yeah, I can do in person but I also struggle with that too. the online friends I have don’t rlly talk much and I guess it makes sense bc everyone is busy with life but man. I’ve been feeling quite lonely as of late and idk how much I can hold on. it’s like I’m losing touch with the online ones. I don’t have any irl since 17 & I am tired. idk man I just wanna disappear and spawn in another world or jus be happy. I think I might quit my job and pursue a design job at home depot thru networking bc that’s a plan B I have. that’s if I can even land the job. I think I might take a break from college bc idek what I want atp. I feel like I’m slowly dying inside from this loneliness. I am trying everyday. this feeling is soooo ass

shirleyCstar

Date posted: 23w

I should get help

This past week I realized I have not friends. It makes me feel lonely. I’ve been homeschooled my whole life, so my only social life would be work or church. I don’t have a job right now due to medical reasons. But I feel like such a fucking loser right now. The voices of my family and myself are making me feel horrible. “You couldn’t even kill yourself right.” Is what my brother said. He told me I need to grow up and realize that nobody gives a fuck. I feel like there’s something wrong with me. Am I really just a sensitive piece of shit? Am I just being dramatic? I feel so lost right now. I can’t stop comparing myself to others who seem to be doing so well. It’s not like I haven’t been searching for a job. They’ve all turned me down. I’ve gotten help and I know my resume is great. Maybe my dad is right that it’s really just how I am. People are hired because of the way they are. I am not outgoing or friendly or approachable and it makes me hate myself so much. I know I can’t kill myself. I can’t put that financial and emotional burden on my family. I’m already enough of a burden as it is. I know that I’m “never a burden,” but the truth is I am. My mom even admitted that I was the most burden of a child and it makes me feel so guilty. I wish they didn’t love me. It’s so selfish and horrible to say that. I know there’s someone out there who deserves my life and family more than I do. I deserve punishment and failure. But I want an answer. It’s impossible to know the future. Am I right? Am I really destined for failure? If only I got that answer I’d be relieved. It’s not the ideal answer, but it’s still an answer. I don’t have to try anymore. It’s fucking tiring. I know I’m not alone. I just don’t know anymore. Maybe I need to realize that this is real life and life’s not fair.

secretuser

Date posted: 21w

stuck in life

my grades are super bad, my ex moved on, i have no real friends at all, and i feel empty inside. i feel nothing but i feel so many emotions at the same time. i wish i would’ve done better in life. i push people away but then complain about being lonely. me and my ex broke up 8 months ago and i still can’t get over him. he got a girlfriend a week after our breakup and it makes me think about so many things. i’ve talked to guys after that but none of them are the same, i got this feeling with him i got with nobody else and it hurts to know i won’t ever get it back. i feel like im not good or pretty enough for anyone. i feel to difficult for a relationship and to tired. i compare myself to his new girlfriend all the time and i can’t stop. why can’t i be as pretty as her? what was so wrong with me that we had to stop talking? we talk every month as friends but it lasts an hour. my heart craves his love again but i know i won’t ever get him back. i remember this one time i tried cutting off all contact with him because of his girlfriend. when i did, he said he didn’t wanna fully let me go because im a good friend to keep around and he knows ill always be there. i don’t know if he still means that because it’s been months but he still texts me first sometimes. i know i need to let go but im stuck in life and i just need him to help me like he always would. but i cant get his help so i feel stuck and confused and sad and empty.

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I feel so alone.

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