It’s like the more I research my symptoms, the more I’m like well maybe I don’t have ocd, and maybe I am just a messed up individual from all the past Trauma and I’ve wasted so much time researching ocd the last week and what if I really don’t have it? I’m so frustrated.
OCD does that. That is an intrusive thought within itself :/
@karismaAmontes So that’s an Intrusive thought?
@Mamabug34 Most likely yes because it's doubt like do i have ocd what if i don't blah blah blah, looks like an ocd thought to me.
What i would say is you should try to stop researching your symptoms since I'm pretty confident it's a compulsion that will make your ocd worse which it does from what i see.
Tell your doctors your symptoms not Google.
@Newb82 Thanks. Very unhelpful comment.
@Mamabug34 It wasn’t supposed to seem that way. I just meant that doctors can work magic when they have the information. It has taken me fifteen years to start being honest with my doctor and his team and within a year they were trying to change my diagnosis in a significant way. I didn’t mean to sound grumpy but this is what I tell myself now.
@Newb82 It’s ok. I’m sorry, I think I’m just extra sensitive to how others respond to me and apparently get super offended. Ugh. I guess my biggest fear is just being told “oh you just have general anxiety, go do some yoga and deep breathing” again because that’s what my last psychiatrist told me. I have this deep need to know for sure what is going on and it drives me nuts. And being called a hypochondriac by Drs doesn’t help either. So I can never know for sure is it ocd or am I am hypochondriac. I feel like I can’t trust anyone to really listen, you know?
@Mamabug34 I understand being sensitive. I’ve been wanting to react to people in a negative way for days. I wouldn’t like being told I was a hypochondriac either, I’d want help from them.
@Mamabug34 Another thing that happened apart from me being honest with my doctor was getting a new doctor. I don’t know if this is advice you need but I thought it was worth mentioning.
@Newb82 I definitely have been looking but it’s crazy NO ONE is taking new patients so it’s just being left to your own devices at the moment.
@Mamabug34 I happened to move across the country. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I’ve only been in my new area for nearly two years and my doctor thinks I only have OCD or Asperger’s. That is a big difference and all because I didn’t want to tell people about the thoughts and urges I was having. I’m waiting for an appointment to hopefully get a diagnosis. If I get a better diagnosis I will owe that doctor my life and wellbeing.
@Newb82 Do you actually have schizophrenia or did they missunderstand ocd for schizophrenia? This has almost happened to me
@Existential klem I’m going to make a post about it. Please lets chat there. I have wanted answers on this for ages.
@Newb82 Oh wow! That’s a huge difference! My brother had bipolar and schizophrenia so I know how distressing those can be. I’m hoping someone can atleast tell me something.
You’re not alone
Can I ask how long can obsessions last at a time? Or is it daily for you?
@Mamabug34 Yes obsessions are daily for me
I’m newly diagnosed with ocd. I tend to ruminate on mistakes I’ve made or things I’ve said, I often find myself trying to convince myself I’m not everything my ocd tries to convince me I am. I can’t control my thoughts half the time and it’s exhausting. I’ve laid awake night after night researching various diseases and illnesses trying to convince myself I’m not dying I don’t know where my ocd begins and ends at this point. I think I’ve always had a tendency to over think but the health ocd started more recently. I was diagnosed with nerve damage in my face and arthritis and I think that sparked something in me that makes my mind wonder to no end what else is wrong. Recently I’ve been struggling with the feelings of not being enough or being too much, I’ve been looking back at things I’ve done and said in the past and wonder why people put up with my shit and then I spiral into the inevitable chaos of my overthinking. I’m trying really hard to learn how to control it but I’m sure everyone here can attest as to how painful and aggravating that can be. I just needed to vent.
Ever since I found out about relationship OCD, I’ve been researching non-stop. Google, Reddit, ChatGPT, this app… I regret it deeply. Before I knew what ROCD was, I still had disturbing thoughts, but I didn’t spiral like this. I didn’t question reality this deeply. But now… it’s like I’ve implanted in my mind that I have a disorder that’s “unfixable” or that only gets better with time. And even though I struggled before, since I started researching obsessively, I feel like I’ve completely lost control. My boyfriend told me that I’ve gotten worse ever since I began searching. And I see it — I used to be able to express love. I used to say “I love you” a lot. Now I can’t even say it. And when I did say it before, I think I was using it like a compulsion — like if I say it enough, maybe the thoughts will stop. But they didn’t. Now I can’t even be intimate without feeling this horrible discomfort, sometimes even disgust. And I remember telling my therapist that — and she said it’s not normal to feel disgust when your partner touches you. That devastated me. It stuck in my head. And now? It all feels real. Not like “just thoughts.” It feels like I’m denying the truth, like I’ve ruined everything by digging too deep. I’m not myself anymore. I’m not the girlfriend I used to be. I feel like I’ve lost everything — even my ability to feel love. There’s a constant pressure in my chest, like a weight I can’t describe. And no matter what anyone says — whether it’s hopeful or scary — it doesn’t bring me peace. I feel completely lost inside my own mind. I don’t even know why I’m posting. Maybe because I just want to feel less alone.
I’m trying so hard to feel normal again but i cant i keep feeling like im being dramatic and that my symptoms aren’t real and im tricking everyone, even on here i feel like im tricking you all into believing i have OCD when i don’t. Plus all these other types thoughts im having all meshing together its so overwhelming and i dont know what to do. My therapist appointment isnt until next week and idek what shes gonna tell me or if she’ll even think i have OCD. i keep thinking about my other posts on here and wondering if i even meant what i said in them. this is the worst ive ever felt i think i might even be going through depersonalization or derealization but im not even sure about that i dont even know anything about what im really going through cause ive never been given any kind of formal diagnosis its only ever been depression and social anxiety but ive always had a feeling it was more but i keep doubting myself. maybe if anyone wants to look at some of my other posts and tell me what u think in general? or would that be reassurance seeking? i feel like most of my posts might be but im not sure.. IM NOT SURE ABOUT ANYTHING! this is so annoying
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