It's terrible, I was in bed with my partner and kept getting triggered. I had to stop all together and tell them not right now. They know I suffer from intrusions but it doesn't help our relationship or my state of mind for that matter. I went into the bathroom and starting hitting myself. It's no joke and has made me suicidal. The certainty that I'd rather be dead than enjoy the thoughts the disturb me is good indicator that there is definitely something wrong. You are not alone and it will eat you alove if you let it. Stay strong, and find something you love to do and repeat that thing. That can be easier said than done. I do believe therapy is a good place to start. Working out is a good way to combat anxiety. Hang in there your not alone. Remember you aren't your thoughts, and get to pick who you want to be.