Health anxiety ocd

I’ve been having this heart attack fear for a while. I can only relax when I’m lying down. I don’t drink or smoke but I chew tobacco. Married 3 kids and 27. Had a stress echo done 4 months ago for my bicuspid aortic valve. Knowing about a minor heart problem doesn’t help my situation either haha but anyways. I Had my heart beat up to 205 beats per minute on the treadmill and she said my heart is strong, pumping good, but here I am now 4 months later worrying about the same thing as last time lol. Ugh never ending. Being Diagnosed with ocd doesn’t help either. They diagnosed my pain as muscular aka stress I guess??? Sometimes it feels like it’s the real deal though. Yet. I can do a full p90x workout for the most part besides muscle soreness obviously. It makes it difficult to workout sometimes. Not to mention I ate like shit all through my youth so that doesn’t help either. Chicken wings. Burgers. All fried baby! Very fatty terrible food. Which always registers in my mind as “your arteries are clogged because of the food you ate” lol ugh!!!! I snapped last week couldn’t take it anymore and my 12 foot ladder went flying 30 feet across the yard. Stuck my fist through my basement wall screaming. “just take me if my heart is going to stop” yet, here I am a week later. The stress with ocd caused so much anger and agony I just cried. Wife came down seen how I was but she doesn’t understand, I’m deep down so afraid of dying. Yet I ride 160 mph on a motorcycle with no fear???? Maybe to escape my own mind I assume. The human mind is complex. I used to box at the local boxing gym to relieve stress. Don’t go anymore. 3 kids makes it difficult. I can’t seem to find anything to distract my mind besides running my own business. I have my good days and bad days but I constantly find myself in thoughts. Threw my lexapros away 4 months ago had enough of not feeling “normal” . Now , I have days where I feel like I’m a “god” and no one could kill me. Then their is days where it is the quite opposite. Seems like my only enemy is myself. Blood pressure normal for most parts. Blood tests are always good.