Ocd + napping feeling delusional and on edge .

i’ve unfortunately fallen into the cycle of trying to figure out my thoughts and find answers as to why i feel so distressed. this still pertains to the situation regarding changing my room for those reading who have seen my multiple posts over the last few days. i’ve been so distressed and in so much panic about it. i’m also panicking over my other room looking so different from when i left it. it’s been making me feel crazy because to me there’s no reason for my anxiety to latch so hard onto something that seems so minuscule. i was thinking i was having anxiety over change, but it’s like symptoms of ocd too that’s making it really hard for me to let go. SO i started thinking maybe it was perfectionism ocd? i’ve realized over time that i do compulsions to where things have to feel “just right”, but i also do that with any environment i’m in. like it HAS to feel cozy to me and provide me comfort in order for me to feel at ease. and this change is causing me to panic because there’s something wrong that i can’t find an answer to. maybe the different colored carpet? but it’s also more than that it feels like. however, now it’s spreading into other areas of my house where i’ve always been fine in and possibly to just any area i’m in at all. hence why it’s making me feel crazy because there’s no reason for me to be THIS distressed over that as i’ve never really had this problem before. and when i did it would last maybe an hour to a couple of days at most, but this has been going for over 2 weeks with my really bad anxiety being this week. i’m doing a little better, but it’s still hard when i can feel that panic waiting for me to acknowledge and just engulf me in the ocd cycle. i’m also analyzing basically any feeling i have so i just feel off in general and like i’m going insane. i’ve been so hyper focused on how i feel and that will send me spiraling too. multiple themes then start coming in like existential ocd and fear of solipsism. not to mention my harm and contamination ocd that just adds on when i’m this vulnerable. then i worry if no one is real, then no one feels the way i do. or just in general that what if no one feels the way i do. honestly, i think being out of college and in my house with nothing to do is causing me too much time with my thoughts. which is why i’m so distressed about everything that pops into my brain.

I'm going through an ocd flare up. I'm in a pretty bad depressive episode and just got triggered so it's harder for me to cope. Can't really get out of bed so can't take my mind off it. It feels so real this time. But of course I'm not confessing and this has happened many times before so I'm choosing to stay uncertain and live with it. Just wanted to share with anyone because it all feels really heavy and my close ones already seem so fed up with me hahs. If anybody is going through the same thing just remember that you're not alone!

Hi everyone This is my first post been going through rough 4 years many many themes but my current theme is fear of psychosis this is the roughest one so far and actually believed I was in phycosis and still doubt it sometimes when it was at its worst I was jumpy and questioning why my mind was suddenly hyper analysing things I don’t normally care to notice my normal floaters in my eyes kept playing tricks on me and still do when the odd one jumps up or moves quicker than normal, feeling like I was seeing shadows or mistaking any faint noise as a whisper or something to be alarmed at, vivid patterns and pictures in my mind when I shut my eyes for bed and bothered me so much made me feel like I had taken some sort of drug, having to get reassurance from everyone that they would see the same fly I saw just fly into the room. It has become abit better the more aware I have become but it’s still a fight sometimes to not want to check or google or question this theme was the key to getting an OCD diagnosis. Finally in therapy and trying to label it as often as I can now. My takeaway is lack of sleep and hormones really do make it worse or even trigger it but now the fear is here, it is all the time even if it’s more mild when getting better sleep and at certain times in the month ! I’m finding it a hard battle now I’m aware it is OCD I’m doing emdr hopefully it helps. There is always that underlying fear that I’m missing something or I’m in that age bracket I hope one day I can look back and say I got through this particular phase but at the moment it seems hard to think my brain will ever “relax” again I would like to start enjoying my life again. I’m from the uk and would love to find a person to chat too in a similar theme to me it would be nice to help each other out on those bad days and even be able to make some light out of our similar experiences if that would help I’m 26 female.