Trying to accept uncertainty

This is very TMI so a fair bit warning but earlier I was masterbating and it’s very common for Intrusive thoughts to pop up. And one popped up and it kind of stuck with my mind and it felt like I was focusing on it which I don’t wanna do cause I don’t want the thoughts. But because it kinda stuck if felt like I was masterbating to the thoughts but they went away and shortly after I had an orgasm. It makes me worried that I was thinking of those things on purpose and idk why the thought stuck like that. Because I don’t like the thoughts and never focus on them. But now I feel like I have this guilt of I masterbated to these thoughts on purpose even though it wasn’t on purpose. Then I worry what if I enjoyed it and got a feeling of enjoying it. I’ve been accepting uncertainty but then o also feel I’m not getting enough anxiety from this which makes me worry my theme is true. But I’ve been recovering so my anxiety is a lot less towards a lot of the thoughts. Any advice?

Username: Athwartthelotusstream

Date posted: 325d ago

We’re these sexual thoughts or just random thoughts about other situations (e.g. masterbating to the idea of receiving attention, talking to someone or doing a non sexual activity)?

Username: Jbgys543

Date posted: 325d ago

@Athwartthelotusstream Ikr how to say it, but the thoughts come in but they don’t ever have any context, they just are my theme and that’s it. Nothing going on, nothing specific just thoughts. I’m not sure how to explain it

Username: Jbgys543

Date posted: 325d ago

@Athwartthelotusstream But my current theme is sexual, so I guess sexual intrusive thoughts? Because it wasn’t like any images or like thoughts of me doing a certain thing it was just the theme I have and what it’s around

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 325d ago

I have done this as well it's completely normal don't think you're gross it's pocd there's a reason you're obsessing about it