- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I have my own form of ocd and I can’t imagine how hard this is for you but just so you know you aren’t alone out there. I have been fighting my own battle for two years but just something I wanted to say I know this might not help you much but as a Christian I just wanted to say that God loves you and cares about you and I know your probably not Christian but I just wanted to let you know. Also, maybe get outside or listen to some music or read a book? Keep your mind off of all that and if u do have some ocd that kicks in then face it and what my therapist says to do is to just sit in it and be uncomfortable Until the ocd gradually goes away. I don’t know much about your ocd but any ocd is very difficult and tiring and I’m sorry you and anyone else has to feel like this but that’s just the way our brains are I guess. And also just a song I wanted to recommend ( fully known by Tauren wells if u wanted something to listen to) and maybe listen to some podcasts about ocd? I’ll be praying for you❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
Theme cycling sucks! And I’m so sorry you’re suffering right now! No matter the theme, you always treat OCD the same way (with uncertainty, ERP, and mindfulness.) seems like your OCD just really want to get you, no matter what the topic. The second you “forget” to worry about one, another pops up. OCD can kinda be like wack-a-mole sometimes. And the better you can get at addressing each thought with “maybe you’re true, maybe you’re not, I don’t know, and I can sit with the anxiety if that uncertainty,” the better you’ll get at the game. I hope you can go out and treat yourself to a nice lunch today or a good movie tonight or do something nice for yourself to take the edge off. Self compassion is so important in these low and lost moments. Good luck!
- Date posted
- 6y
Awh I know what this is like too ? It's been 3 years for me as well. It's alright, we'll make it ❤
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s good, and you one thought that always helps me is that this isn’t forever.
- Date posted
- 6y
thank you both. Yes Hannah, im not christian but its very sweet of you to comment such things. Made me feel a little easier.
- Date posted
- 6y
My therapist tells me that I don’t need to lose hope because it isn’t forever it’s just temporary.
- Date posted
- 6y
thank you, really .. thank you ❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
Hannah, that's such a lovely message ? Made me feel a bit better too haha
- Date posted
- 6y
And also pureolife, that's honestly such a good way to describe theme cycling ?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
back in october i made my first post about my specific type of ocd, how it mixes in with my day to day and how i “deal” with it. i talked about the starting point, how it gradually got worse, and then how it was going just a few months ago. i always think it’s insane how much can change in just the course of a small to a large amount of time. right now, i honestly feel like garbage. to be quite sincere i really want to give up, i’m barely holding on by a thread. and if i cut that thread, i really doubt anyone would care. i’ve never considered myself to be a suicidal person, and i still don’t consider myself that right now. it just gets to a point where it’s just, a lot to deal with. i don’t really enjoy things a lot nowadays. sure i have good days like everyone does, like today, when i was just enjoying my day without worries. but then it all comes crawling back twice as bad the following days. i take online college so i’m usually just stuck at home most of the time. but, when i do decide to actually go out and leave my house, my ocd just explodes because i have this whole routine i need to do or else i feel like i’ll contaminate wherever i end up going. i’m not going to go really deep into my compulsions because it’s hard enough to live with them, much more having to type them all out in detail. but when i go out my compulsions go from wiping down all my stuff i’m going to use after showering, to washing my clothes/cleaning the washer + dryer. i also have separate things (or two of the same thing) i use specifically in my house, and items i use when going out. such as shampoo/body wash, deodorant, lotion, hair curler, etc. as if that’s not draining enough, i also feel the need to fast a couple days prior to any plan i make because i’ve forced myself to believe i need to feel empty in order to be clean. i’m not sure if that’s my past eating disorder talking, or my ocd, but my brain can’t help but think any food in my house is utterly and completely contaminated. i’m so tired of this feeling, feeling like nothing will ever be clean again. feeling like my ocd is trapped in my childhood home. feeling that wave of diseases rushing through my veins the moment i step foot into what’s supposed to be “home”. and i’m so scared of therapy because what if i do get healed, and then everything comes rushing back the second i step into my room. i’m planning on moving somewhere far from my current house in this next coming year, so sometimes i feel like just waiting it out. but it’s insufferable when going to hangout with someone. i miss my friends, my family, and my partner. it’s crazy to me that i’m dealing with all this at the young age of 18 but, i’m sure lots of people have it way worse. i just want to find a way out, any possible way. but i keep pushing myself deeper and deeper that when i finally find a way, it will no longer exist.
- Date posted
- 23w
I don’t have much of a support system outside of my bf, so I find myself here a lot. I think I just need to vent, so forgive me if I do this too often. It helps to have a community of people who truly understand. I haven’t felt this debilitated by mental illness in months. There has to be some explanation, maybe it’s hormonal, because I feel like I’ve completely lost myself. The panic hits in waves, sudden and overwhelming, like my head is submerged in lava, burning and suffocating. Then, for a brief moment, I feel almost normal and wonder what all the fear was about. But it never lasts. The chaos always comes back. I even considered going to the ER because I’m not sure I can trust myself anymore. Something has to be wrong, because this isn’t me. My life isn’t perfect, but it’s not unbearable either. Since I withdrew from school, I’ve been so much less stressed that even my cycle, which has been irregular for years, has somehow regulated itself. But even with that, I feel like a failure. I was one semester away from finishing, so close, but OCD hit me harder than it ever has. It felt like drowning, gasping for air, reaching for something solid, only to be dragged under again and again. Now, I feel like that again, but worse. I feel hollow, like something is wrong with me at my core. I don’t just feel sad; I feel broken. I break down into uncontrollable sobs every few hours, and I don’t even know why. I just know that whatever is happening, OCD is taking full advantage of how vulnerable I feel. Is this what MDD feels like? Everyone tells me I have it, and it’s been confirmed by my psych, my pcp, and my therapist, but I still can’t seem to fully see it. I don’t know how to separate what’s OCD from what might be another disorder. I’m sorry to anyone also going through such a hard time, my heart goes out to you 🤍
- Relationship OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Harm OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- Date posted
- 16w
I cant do anything anymore without my brain dregdging up proof from my past that I was actually trans and didn't know it, and it all seems so plausible. like I said in my last post its unearthing memories that I didn't even know I have. ik this is just ocd tricking me but I feel like I need to review every moment thoroughly bc I have questioned my gender in the past but always concluded that'd I'd happier as a girl (which is true). everything feels so real and it feels like I am just super in denial. also, how do I tell people about this? I made the mistake of confessing to a teacher on a note and only a couple friends of mine understand the thoughts I get, but I don't tell them everything. however its very hard for me to do basic responsibilities like school work and I always end up overwhelmed, so I'm thinking I may need accomdations. I need to get in touch with my counselor but i'm unsure how to explain all of this to her, being that I don't have a diagnosis....also I feel like I can't talk about this with the majority of my friends because gender ocd is rare to have (increasing my doubts) and, at least school-wise, i'm in very accepting environment for lgbtq and I'm afraid they're just gonna tell me to accept myself. I'm scared of doing erp for this because what if I like it (also cant afford therapy). ive also felt very apprehensive around some of my trans friends and classmates because my brain is going crazy asking "what if you're like them?" and I feel so bad and transphobic for these thoughts. i'm genuinely so tired. one of my closest friends died last year, but my father pointed out that my recent mood has been even worse than it was during that time. i tend to bottle up my emotions a lot, so everyone's just telling me to "let it go" and tell people, but if I do that I feel like i'll end up confessing. i'm so tired and lost.
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