Does changing your perspective take a toll on you?

Hey y’all just wanted to share some stuff I feel has been helping me a lot as of lately. I been thinking a lot about my mental wellness in relation to physical wellness as I tend to have chronic pain and wonder how much of my anxious panicked tension is a factor because I also have a weird hip issue that moslty comes from skateboarding when I was young. A big thing that always drew my attention is my mobility and movement that i feel like can be easily overlooked because i am a bit hypermobile. So I’ve always experimented with different ways of managing the dysfunction because there are good days of feeling a lot more physically capable and slight better range of motion/movement where im reminded that there is definitely pain/discomfort that can be alleviated. Now to also bring up that I’ve been recovering from severe OCD for the last about 2 years(undiagnosed since a child) and facing a lot of things no doubt since than, tons of improvement after being able to identify the cause(want to point out I’m self diagnosed still, I try to implement the gold standard of ERP myself as much as I can along with other therapy practices but obviously understand that professional help ultimately is the best thing I can do, no health insurance/poor). Still in recovery no doubt but yea i really can say I’ve been doing a lot better with my OCD. So now going back to the chronic pain I also want to mention the way I’ve noticed my breathing that also feels as though it can be shallow in relation to the previous mentioned dysfunction that leads for me to have chronic pain. So now getting to the things that have helped me, one is understanding the role the psoas plays into your physical sort of biomechanics and then the way it is connected to our emotional responses, as it is known as the fight flight or freeze muscle. The way we can hold so much stress in our body can really wreak havoc, and the more I learn and understand myself and OCD the more it’s like I unpack to to the extent how much it’s completely taken over so much of me. I just started to notice this year how hypervigilant I am, and having Pure O I sort of end up feelin as though even in my own mind I am hypervigilant just scared of the intrusive thoughts/doubts worries and even when they aren’t present just on edge ready to fight back against it at any given moment. It makes so much sense why I ended up with insane amount of tension in my left psoas muscle and then that causing me to also build tension in surrounding areas of that muscle. Finding some chronic pain relief thru identifying where the heavy tension is around the psoas area and massaging it, hitting the trigger points to release the muscle has had so much relief and it really is also just giving me a sense of mental well being that truly is just great. I’ve always struggled with meditation but I’m also realizing how hard it can be when muscles are constantly in fight/flight/freeze mode. Mindful breathing along with the massage/trigger point relief is the first time I actually felt the air I was breathing pass through my body in a way that just made sense. Like as if some parts of my body haven’t had air pass in ages, and really feeling in tune with my senses and the room I was in. My body really is just used to being fearful, and I’ve tried to find ways of relieving the tension but with time and just kind of listening to my body, trying to learn about different ways of rehabilitating these types of chronic pain, mindfulness, mindful breathing, along with the different therapeutic tools for ocd I actually am starting to really let go of things and not have my body in constant fear/panic mode because speaking for most people whose OCD has gotten so severe, there really is a sort of trauma from having to deal with how bad it can get which your body keeps track of. Still continuing this journey recovering, and I hope y’all are also continuing !!

Hey everyone it’s been a while since I posted on here. Honestly, I try to stay off of this app unless I really need advice because I find it triggering at times. But right now I’m feeling pretty down and just would like some hopeful and helpful advice. Has anyone ever felt like they’re just not capable of getting out of this? Has anyone ever felt like ERP therapy isn’t working or that they just can’t get it’s a click? . I’ve been in ERP therapy for over a year just about a year and a half actually and I literally feel so stagnant and stuck still. I show up every week I do my exposures, but my body is in such a chronic fight or fight all the time that it feels almost impossible to apply the tools. I’m super sensitive to begin with and I feel things very deeply and because of that it feels like I’m not gonna be able to ever change. It feels like no matter what I do or experience I’m just gonna always feel it so deeply and it’s gonna just rattle me all of the time. I’m honestly so frustrated. I’m tired and I’m overwhelmed. I so badly wanna change these patterns that I have and grow and be out of this OCD spiral, but everything just feels impossible. I’m just wondering if I’m alone here?? Has anyone ever felt this way? Has ERP taken a long time for anyone else or am I the only one that just can’t get my brain to click with it? Any encouraging and helpful words would be greatly appreciated thank you 🙏

How long do you guys have to sit with a thought for it to go away? I have sat with thoughts for days and days before and the anxiety was crippling to where I couldn’t eat or sleep. Until I asked. And especially something I’ve already asked about before that upsets my husband but my brain was like did I hear him right? Yada yada. That’s about where I’m at right now. I feel so sick from anxiety