Don’t know how to overcome this

I am afraid to take a medication because there is a small chance of a serious side effect and an even smaller chance that it could become fatal. I don’t know how to “accept” the risk that taking this medicine could literally kill me. I am bombarded with intrusive thoughts about it all day and while I am sleeping about me taking it, getting the side effect, ending up in the hospital, regretting my decision and not listening to my OCD and dying. But the alternative to not taking the medicine is also bad, because if I don’t take it I could get sick and also die. I feel like I am being tortured. How do I overcome this? I’ve had lots of different bouts of OCD but never with something that had documented evidence (people dying from side effects) backing up my fears.

Health Concern OCD

kittykate

Date posted: 2y

I struggle with the same thing

vlrm

Date posted: 2y

@kittykate I’m sorry you are also going through this

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

I want to use an example that won’t trigger you and lose the point. So first I want to ask - Do you have anxiety around driving or around COVID?

vlrm

Date posted: 2y

@Erin P I don’t have anxiety around driving, but I definitely have it around COVID

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

@vmcgee Statistically driving is dangerous and risky but we do it anyway. Medications are likely to be less fatal statistically. But OCD latches onto what it wants. I used to be anxious about taking meds and getting side effects. But meds have helped me do the ERP I need to. Can you treat meds as an exposure? As in take something over the counter that has some risks but not a lot - like aspirin or Tylenol and sit with that you may or may not have side effects? And maybe do some “I may or may not sick if I take meds” thoughts. If your anxiety goes up and then decreases with these two exposures then consider if the same is true for the meds you’ve researched. Yes there is evidence of people dying but they could have had health conditions that contributed etc. OCD will have you believe the worst case scenario will be what will happen to you. But remember OCD lies.

vlrm

Date posted: 2y

@Erin P Thank you so much for this. I actually had a fear for a little while of taking Advil for fear or having an allergic reaction, but it got to the point where I had such a bad migraine I caved and took it. I’m currently having obsessions around the COVID vax. I got the first one but since then I read so many stories and medical research papers about vaccine myocarditis and that some have actually died from it and it has scared the crap out of me and my OCD has latched onto it HARD. Im going on my honeymoon soon so I wanted to get it prior to traveling but every time i schedule it i cry and cry for days leading up to it convinced I am going to die. It’s terrible! I’m not sure how to do an ERP exercise for this

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

@vmcgee A worry script might help. Here’s an https://www.shalanicely.com/fredtalks/shower-scripting/

vlrm

Date posted: 2y

@Erin P Thank you for that, that’s very helpful. Trying really hard to sit with the uncertainty about COVID / the vaccine. Having trouble deciding what I should do. I’m equally scared of both lol

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

@vmcgee OCD meds help me do the ERP. I’ve had the vaccine and boosters. Not reassurance just hoping this tips the balance on your decision. Glad you are sitting with uncertainty. It’s the only way through it.

cows12465

Date posted: 24w

suic. ocd advice?

so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.

baukje

Date posted: 12w

Obsessing about… medication

I am having an appointment with my psychiatrist this afternoon and I am obsessing about what to do with my medication. I think it’s also very ocd like obsessing. I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine. Ive been on this for years (because of insomnia, anxiety and depression) (15mg) and after we tried to switch to another (amitryptiline) because of nerve pain, I went down the road of insomnia and later on ocd again. So I am back on mirtazapine, and weaning off of the amitryptiline. This is/was a very traumatic experience. Because the switch caused a mental breakdown. Now my psychiatrist has mentioned to up the mirtazapine to 45mg. And my obsessive self has done a lot of research and a lot is saying that the higher the dose, the more you can experience anxiety. And for ocd it’s obviously not the first choice. I am obsessing all morning about it. I am too scared to go up. But I am also too scared to try another and to wean myself of off mirtazapine. I feel stuck at this point. Taking two meds is also not something I want. I could really use some words of encouragement right now I think. 🥹

TrustGod24

Date posted: 12w

ERP

I’m thinking about doing erp but my ocd is so severe the thought of accepting my fears happening to me makes me sick to my stomach. I also believe in the power of my words and saying I accept this Bad thing will attract it into my life. I’m not sure what I should do🥲

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