- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I have hocd and never had a girl crush. Just admired and wanted to be like them. Regardless my ocd, I know what I want and what I don't want to do. But some poeple are open to experiment and that's totally okay. If you want something go for it, there's absolutely nothing wrong
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Oh yeah I get what you mean. But regardless a lot of poeple regardless of sexuality imagine kissing poeple of same /opposite sex and get same sex crushes doesn't mean you want to act on them. @prakriti did you want to act on them?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
And wait chou tzuyu sounds familiar? Kpop? Twice?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I don’t know what it’s called but there’s a sexuality where you kiss girls and like girls but you’re attracted to boys. I don’t remember what it’s called but google it, I hope this helped you
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You mean heteroflexible?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
something like that yeah
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah, like weird but sometimes (rarely) I’ll have girl crushes but I don’t want to get physical with them or anything, I just like them for being pretty or something. But that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m lesbian. What I’m saying is as long as you don’t wanna act on it there’s a chance you could still be straight or just wanting to experiment with girls. And that’s okay too
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Honestly now that you say it was admiring I don’t even think it was really a crush, I think I was just admiring maybe? Either way I’m still straight so it wouldn’t make a difference
- Date posted
- 5y ago
So yeah you’re probably okay
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah because I used to think "oh look at how beautiful they are I want to look like them so bad" and that was it tbh. I think people misunderstood what "finding someone attractive" means. I can say rihanna is a attractive but just because she's beautiful and I can say Leonardo dicaprio is attractive and mean it as in I'm attracted to him.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I just don't know! I never really thought of it. It just suddenly hit me and i got reminded of mt school daysm It was mostly in my school life. As i said i never got the chance to interact with guys. So i did develop crushes in my school life but i don't think i develop any after that may be once or twice after my school life. I asked it in an lgbt forum. The person said may be during my school days because of my very little interaction with boys. I just don't know. I don't even know what i want now. My mind is continuously telling me and convincing me that i am a lesbian. I have even been in a relationship with guy for 6 years whom i met in my coaching classes. Is it okay if i don't label myself as anything? I am not feeling comfortable in labeling myself as anything other than straight and if i am labeling myself as straight i am feeling as if i am lying to myself.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Maybe it really was because you spent a lot of years in all girls school without interacting with boys. It's okay if you don't label yourself as anything, you don't need to :)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
But the thing if it brings you anxiety, it is just hocd
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thankyou all. I don't know if i had ocd before in my school life and college life. But i always have the habit of checking things again and again. If i did not do good in any of the exams i used to sit with the question paper day and night and keep on counting my marks and not study for the next exam until and unless i was sure of my marks and that surety never came!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
And speaking of being attracted to someone. Right now i am not attracted to anyone except for a kpop band named BTS. Even if there are a lot of girl idol groups i have never been into any of them except for again bts.. ☺ and right now i really don't want to think of who am i attracted to but work on my career but all these thoughts are coming to me again and again.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ocd can also not seem like ocd when it is undiagnosed or ignored. But while its onset is usually very early in life, you can develop ocd even later on
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah I know how it feels, just do you. Focus on what you like, what may be will be. If the idea of being with the same sex doesn't sit 100%right with you, then it's not what you may think
- Date posted
- 5y ago
you’re allowed to feel attraction towards girls without wanting to be with them romantically/sexually! I remember reading this thing that said “you can think a house or a car looks attractive, but that doesn’t mean you want to have sex with it or be in a relationship with it.” kinda similar stuff
- Date posted
- 5y ago
It just never goes. I came across a thing called lesbian smile. I have a feeling i have that smile. A smile that only non straight girls do. Every time i am smiling i pause and look at my phone camera and if i do that smirk i get terrified. I am literally constantly checking.. This is so frustating!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
honestly you remind me of someone I went to school with lol
- Date posted
- 5y ago
she sounds just like you, are you from Louisiana? (don’t answer if you’re uncomfortable)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
No i am from India. I don't know if it's right if i question you? The girl you are talking about. Is she a lesbian? You don't need to answer if it's uncomfortable
- Date posted
- 5y ago
yeah
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I don’t wanna answer just because I don’t know if you’ll start worrying
- Date posted
- 5y ago
It will worry me of course but i have to deal with it. I just want to return to how my life was before all these shit started happening. I cannot move forward with my life if i am unsure about what my identity is
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Sometimes i really just want to ask someone with a strong gaydar to just check or assume what i am through my social media profiles/accounts . I really don't remember if i have ever thought of being intimate with a girl atleast not for the past few years! Idk before that. Everything is just so confusing
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Try to distract yourself
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Will try! I don't know if i have that lesbian smile. It does not particularly match but i keep checking it.. I again came across this finger ratio that straight women have ring finger shorter than the index finger. When i faced my palm upwards it was short like the ring finger was shorter and when i faced it upside down i saw that both my ring fingers were longer and i started crying!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
girl, that doesn’t define your sexuality. It really doesn’t, you can’t take those kinds of things seriously, people make those as a joke.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I know i was never like this. It seems i am taking every little things valid or not into consideration. If i see any of my fav male celebrity and you know freak out or blush i start crying thinking that these reactions towards those male celebrities are fake. I have always been an lgbt supporter. I even shared with my mom that i have a feeling that i like girls and she was offended. I tried explaining her that being gay is not a bad thing. This shows that I won't really be afraid of coming out if i am a lesbian which is different from those who are in denial because i have always been transparent with those who are close with me. It's not the fear of coming out i know. It's just i idk some kind of fear and anxiety about some undiscovered part of me that i don't know
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The unknown scares all but there’s not much you can do about it. You just have to accept that you have no control of the situation and try to move in
- Date posted
- 5y ago
*on
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 9w ago
I am a 21(female). I have only ever kissed one guy and it was horrible and I cried after. I stress about my sexuality constantly. I only want to be straight and know I want to end up with a man, but picturing it stressed me out and I am so scared to kiss a guy I think about it and get so stressed and cry immediately. I have severe intrusive thoughts about kissing everyone my teachers my best friends and it creeps me out and then I go down a rabbit hole of sexual orientation ocd! If anyone has any tips that might help that would be great. Again I don’t want or think I am gay but being so scared to be intimate with a man starts me down a spiral.
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