Hannahkins

Date posted: 2y

OCD escalates when I talk to ex

Two years ago, I had a nervous breakdown. My OCD was worse than ever, and I was admitted to an OCD and Trauma unit. The therapists told me to stay away from my fiancé at the time. Fast forward, he still reaches out from time to time, altho he is engaged to the lady he cheated on me with to always to put me down, and brag about himself. He just texted his life is so much better with his new fiancé and she is the love of his life. Now my anxiety is thru the roof. Can someone really contribute to exacerbated symptoms? He also said my new cat is so much cuter and sweeter than yours. Wt?

Catlove9

Date posted: 2y

This is classic narcissistic ex behavior. It sounds like he’s a narcissist and he is doing the SAME thing my narcissist ex did. My OCD has never been as bad as when this person entered my life. You need to block him on everything.

Cody

Date posted: 2y

@Catlove9 Absolutely. I didn’t wanna throw the N word around but now that you’ve said it, he sounds like a class A narcissist that’s upset she wouldn’t continue. His ego is hurt, and that’s it

Catlove9

Date posted: 2y

@Cody Yah. I really try to tread lightly as well. I never want to offend anyone. But it definitely sounds like it. I recently went through it. It’s not fun and can send you spiraling.

Cody

Date posted: 2y

@Catlove9 I can’t stand narcissistic people. I have no tolerance for any of them, to the point where I too tend to show narcissistic tendencies when I come across them. They want to control the conversation, so I never let them.. they want validation and attention, so after I’m done with them I show them none. I know this is just as toxic, but I have a bone to pick with a few right now… so my mind is just in war mode. Im obsessing over it like crazy and don’t feel like I’ll be able to be my true self again until I get what I want from them. Crazy how I came across this tbh.. crazy

Cody

Date posted: 2y

@Cody My father was narcissistic, so all I see in them is him

Catlove9

Date posted: 2y

@Cody I totally get it. My ex put me through the ringer. Sounds like what @Ragdoll16 is going through. He went through all the phases on repeat. And still to this tries. And we’ve been broken up for 8 months and he has a new gf. They love us because we are empaths. But we have to stay strong! I know it’s not easy. I still struggle with it.

Cody

Date posted: 2y

@Catlove9 You’re really freaking smart! Seriously, you’re onto these people and it makes my heart smile. I have no advice for you at all, just keep being you!!🫶🏼 ahhh I love when narcissists lose their power

Catlove9

Date posted: 2y

@Cody Thank you! That means a lot!

Cody

Date posted: 2y

He probably wouldn’t even be messaging you with allll that information nobody asked for if it wasn’t for the very way you’re feeling now. He sounds like he’s just trying to get under your skin, and though it worked just know he’s also simultaneously showing you he’s still not over you. Otherwise, why give all that information? you know the situation far better than I do, but I know guys like him like the back of my hand. The best thing he knows to do is to portray that he’s doing better, while the best thing you can do is just live your life and SHOW that you’re doing better :) heartbreaks are messy, but if you have ocd as well I KNOW you’re strong enough to get through anything. You got this🫶🏼💯💯

Hannahkins

Date posted: 2y

Thank you so so much. That was so sweet and much appreciated. He goes back to being blocked. This way I am free.

Cody

Date posted: 2y

@Ragdoll16 Yesss, you just spoiled every last scent of his plans. Now that he’s blocked he can’t use you or your emotions for validation. You have successfully gotten out of a narcissistic relationship and are NO LONGER a victim!! Now you’re the victor, we gotta celebrate this ish🍻😂💯💯💯

Catlove9

Date posted: 2y

@Cody I agree with @Cody. Getting this person out of your life will dramatically help you’re healing process! Celebrate yourself!

Hannahkins

Date posted: 2y

Thank you. I am so angry, and feel hurt and like want to keep washing my hands. Ugh. I wish i never met him. Thanks so much for answering. I appreciate it.

Catlove9

Date posted: 2y

@Ragdoll16 I understand more than you know. My harm ocd developed after meeting him. It’s been the worst 4 years of my ocd. I would really recommend getting him out of your life. You will heal. Also look up “narcissistic emotional abuse.” It was a huge eye-opener for me.

Emily Cruce

User type: Member advocate

Date posted: 2y

Hi there! I am so sorry to hear about what is going on with your ex-boyfriend. Thank you for sharing with us. I know how hard it is to keep things under control when OCD is triggered by something. Have you tried ERP therapy yet? I know whenever something triggers me, I always make sure to do extra ERP's to combat it!

JazzyRoses

Date posted: 19w

Being Cheated On OCD

Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭

overthinkerh...

Date posted: 17w

ROCD/ Harm OCD

Anyone experience this? I have had OCD for past 9 years, over the course of that time I have had multiple themes from POCD, false memory OCD, contamination OCD the list goes on. Right now I am struggling with the thought that an ex is going to harm me, my family and fiancé. I am about to get married and my fiancé makes me so happy I am in love and finally found the person that truly completes me. However, of course OCD latched onto that. My OCD convinces me that if my ex finds out I’m going to get married that he will harm me and my family. The other day I did a compulsion and looked at my blocked list which my ex and his family and friends are on, I quickly glanced at their little profile pics to make sure they were okay and that they weren’t planning on scheming to harm me and my family and my fiancé. Immediately after I did this I started to freak out, my OCD made me think I was a cheater and that I secretly want to reach out to this ex. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD from that situation because I went through a traumatic experience with this individual and this is what had lead me to believe that he will harm me. Anyone else experience similar?

Anonymous

Date posted: 13w

OCD around my breakup

My partner broke up with my about 10 months ago. It came out of nowhere, and I got no explanation before they ghosted me and blocked me on all forms of contact. I have been horribly struggling since then with this obsessive need for closure. For a while I continued to try to reach out to them, on my own accord or through other people, but it just kept ending with more blocking. For months, I was going through the relationship and the breakup in my head over and over, picking it apart to try and figure out what went wrong, but without a conversation with my ex, I couldn't get anywhere. I am definitely doing much better now. the compulsions to reach out to her and the spiral obsession with figuring out what went wrong have both lessened. but they are still present, especially when I sleep. I really just want to be rid of the whole situation, but i want to do it in a healthy way without locking up my feelings. i really am at such a loss though. i still want answers and i still miss my ex in a lot of ways, but at the same time, the though of running into them scares the shit out of me. ive heard some horrible things about them since then, and how they have been spreading rumors about me behind my back. the situation cant seem to get any worse and it just keep happening. and it makes my ocd triggers so much worse too. idk, i will take literally any responses and any helpful advice.

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OCD escalates when I talk to ex

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