4 years

I’ve had this for 4 yrs. For 4 years I’ve had thoughts about being a pedophile, being attracted to my mother and father, family members, thoughts about killing people, I do not know how I have lasted this long with this disorder. I take meds but the thoughts are still there and my fear of my mind never goes away. I’m stable though but there’s plenty of times this disorder made me think how I was gonna push through. I just had to vent and if anyone out there is struggling just hold on a bit longer and it’ll pass no matter how awful the thoughts are I promise

User type: NOCD Alumni

Username: Priyanka

Date posted: 59d ago

Thank you for sharing. P-OCD is one of the hard ones. OCD loves to attach to things we care about such as family and caring about others. The fact that these thoughts are so sticky is because you care so much about your family and not hurting others the fact your instructive thoughts are attacking them keeps them stick in your mind. Unfortunately intrusive thoughts will never fully go away, but with ERP and resisting rituals and compulsions you will able to regain your life back and your instructive thoughts will not hold so much power over you. Thank you for sharing and giving hope to others. I agree it is hard, awful at times but keeping up with recovery and healing will help in the long run!

User type: Member advocate

Username: Kyle Lucas

Date posted: 59d ago

I'm sorry that you've been going through this! I myself have struggled with the same kinds of thoughts, and the weight it carries is extremely overwhelming. I did not think I'd be able to overcome them, but I decided to try ERP therapy, and it changed everything! Are you familiar with this type of therapy for OCD?

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 58d ago

@ Yea I am but unfortunately Nocd doesn’t cover my insurance and I can’t afford to pay out of pocket

User type: Member advocate

Username: Kyle Lucas

Date posted: 58d ago

@Anonymous - I'm sorry to hear your insurance is out of network with us. Have you by chance spoken with your insurance provider directly to see if they can offer you any kind of reimbursement if you went out of network? Sometimes plans include this, and it can make therapy more affordable. Always worth a check!

User type: Therapist

Username: Stacy Quick

Date posted: 58d ago

Thank you for sharing this. This is a disorder that can be so devastating. But we are stronger than it. We can get through it- we need more brave people like yourself to talk about the tormenting side of OCD, thank you so much.