Does your OCD make you feel fake?

Does anyone else feel like your OCD makes you think you are somewhat lying about who you really are to people? My intrusive thoughts/images make me believe that if people knew “who I really was” that they wouldn’t love me and think I’m awful human. This is especially hard with harm ocd. I feel like I’m legit faking who I am to people while I sit there with my ocd and no one knows I’m struggling with it but me. Sometimes I wanna confess to my boyfriend/mom/friends and say “these are the thoughts I am having____” but then I’m terrified of what they’d think. Would they understand or think I’m a freak? People aren’t just gonna admit their intrusive thoughts. They’d instead act like you are insane meanwhile everyone has them but people with OCD have a harder time letting ours go or something. That’s why I do not confess mine but I have urges too bc I feel so fake. People see me as such a nice compassionate person and that’s how I treat people but my head is in a warzone. It makes me feel unworthy of love or something. I just hope at least one person can relate. If you have overcome this, do you have any tips?

User type: Member advocate

Username: Kyle Lucas

Date posted: 46d ago

Yes, 100%! I felt like I had been a fake for my whole life, and this "bad person" is the real me - and what would people think if they found out. I struggled greatly with Harm OCD. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's exhausting! I was able to overcome OCD through ERP. Are you familiar with this?

Username: Itsheathersocd

Date posted: 46d ago

@ I’m starting ERP really soon! Thank you for your response and being so understanding !

User type: Member advocate

Username: Kyle Lucas

Date posted: 46d ago

@Itsheathersocd - I'm so happy to hear that - you're very welcome! I wish you the best in starting ERP🙂

User type: NOCD Alumni

Username: Jeffrey

Date posted: 45d ago

I am sorry you are having a hard time - and yes this is a very common experience. I cannot tell you how many times my ocd has said to me - if they only knew this or that. It is difficult and that is what drove my compulsions for a long time. I am go glad you are starting erp soon. It is so well worth it. Wishing you all the best.

User type: NOCD Alumni

Username: Lisa LeeLou

Date posted: 45d ago

Thank you for sharing what you are going through. I am sorry to hear you are struggling. I can relate. I think it is great that you are going to be starting ERP soon. Please try to keep in mind that OCD is the doubting disease and often attaches itself to the things that are most important to us. Therefore, it’s not surprising that it has latched on to this. Try to remember that just thinking something does not make it true. Also, trying to just push the intrusive thoughts away, usually actually ends up intensifying them instead. Letting yourself have the thought without engaging with it usually is more effective. of course, I understand that is easier said than done. You will learn tools to help do this, when you start ERP. Recovery is possible. be patient and kind with yourself. wishing you all the best.

Username: Itsheathersocd

Date posted: 45d ago

@Lisa LeeLou That was so encouraging. Thank you so much !!