Need some help please

hey! i don’t really think it sa that weird for him to say that.. maybe he was just trying to help you understand why you shouldn’t avoid drinking? i’m not 100% sure but hope that helps

@allie05 ok so i reread the post and i agree with everyone else. you deserve a lot more! best of luck 💜💜

His mentality behind this is pretty messed up in my opinion. Sounds like Coercion to me. Especially the “ not a big deal “ when it obviously is a big deal to you.

@Miss_OCD See this is why I’m panicking. I don’t want to think he would coerce me into sex… I don’t know what to do

Sounds like you might have triggered him a bit, maybe he does regret drinking. As a general rule of thumb, people who are ok with allowing you to get drunk so they can be with you are probably unscrupulous about other things. Other members have mentioned the effects of alcohol exacerbating their ocd symptoms. It can become a huge problem, because while drinking, ocd symptoms decrease, but the morning after the symptoms come back stronger. I'm not saying that what you are doing, just another reason if you want to abstain from alcohol. Alcohol doesn't play nice with some people, unfortunately this tends to include people with ocd. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about seeing him again, when you find someone that respects you it's worth the wait

@Anonymous I think I did trigger something tbh. He mentioned how he had sex with a girl when he was really drunk and all of his friends ridicule him for it, but it’s fine because he “barely remembers”. This just sounds like he did something he regretted while drunk to me.

Do you want to be go out with somebody who feels like sex while drinking is not a big deal and forgettable? If not, don’t see him again. If you are okay with it then the next question I would pose is: Does he otherwise respect your values or opinions? If not, don’t see him again. My opinion is that he wasn’t respecting your values when he commented about that not being a good reason not to drink. I’m with your friend on this one. However it’s good he was honest about how he feels about drunken sex - so at least you know how he feels and can decide if that’s a match for you. For me, I wouldn’t see him again but that’s me.

@Erin P This is a great response as I fully agree with Erin.

@Erin P Thanks for the comment. In terms of not seeing him again, I enjoy his company and enjoyed being casual with him today, I just don’t want to have sex with him as I feel it makes this a lot more intimate and I don’t want that with him. Do you think its ok to keep seeing him, just not have sex?

@fckocd Of course. It’s your choice and your life. But it would be wise to consider double dating or something else that has a safety cushion in case he gets pushy about sex - which he may or may not do.

@Erin P I don’t think he will get pushy tbh and if I get a vibe I will tell him off. I’m not afraid to do that. I just would rather not be drunk with him and do something I regret (have sex with him)