Celibacy.

Does anyone find it impossible to be in a relationship? I’ve been single for nineteen years. There have been opportunities with women I have found attractive but I always back out because I feel like they aren’t the one or that we would argue or that there would be some bad outcome or I would be trapped with them and someone better would come along. Cold feet I suppose you’d say. I thought it might be PTSD because of some abuse I suffered in the past but after reading another post about it I got thinking. Let me know your experiences no matter how irrelevant. Tx.

Ocdeeznuts55

Date posted: 2y

Yes I’ve had a very similar feeling. I avoided dating and sex until I was 27 because of ROCD. It wasn’t until I actually overcame my fear and started a relationship when my rocd really spiked which caused me to seek help and get a diagnosis.

Trish1014

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I was married at 20, divorced at 25 with 2 kids. I have been celibate ever since then. My kids are now grown. I tried dating a few times over the years I was raising my kids but I always got so scared so fast & never made it past 3-4 dates with any one person & there were only a few different people over all that time. I have always been ashamed of being celibate. It has never been what I wanted. When I was married I liked s-x. I had a rather difficult relationship with it sometimes due to some childhood sexual abuse that occurred. I believe that I have relationship ocd. It is not in the way that a lot may experience it, while they are in a relationship & their relationship ocd is geared towards a partner. For me it is in this eye large fear that prevents me From even trying to have a relationship & intimacy. Mine is more fear based on what if I pick the wrong the person, what if they turn out to be bad to me, it is a fear of getting back into a sexual experience again after so much time has passed & all of the fears that come from that alone right there. Fears about myself. So yes I have found it impossible to try to be in a relationship for a very long time now. This is currently something that I am starting to work on in my erp therapy. As ocd has robbed me of happiness & contentment with this area of my life. Ocd has kept me from living my life to the fullest in this area. Like so many other areas. I am getting there though. You can too. Keep working on your ocd & never give up on what you want for your life. What is important to you can be yours. Work on your ocd. Yo Yvan get there.

Mia Mia

Date posted: 2y

I’m 18 and have been intimidated by sex my whole life. I’m the only virgin out of my friends

Angela121

Date posted: 2y

Do you have relationship ocd?

NotSoNewb82

Date posted: 2y

@Angela121 I don’t know. I possibly have autism, possibly OCD and possibly schizophrenia. The meds I take for the SZ make me uninterested so maybe that’s a factor but I fear getting hurt the most. I feel like being single is what I’m used to so it is easier.

O.Sisi.D

Date posted: 24w

My Relationship OCD Made Me Shut Down

I’ve never really dated before out of fear of being rejected or being emotionally abused. So this was the third date with the first guy I’ve dated in years. Last time he said he wanted to kiss me and that’s all that was on my mind. I was afraid of being bad or not liking it so we didn’t kiss and I felt terrible. I was telling myself that I should be thankful that someone is so patient with me and this is why I’m gonna die alone, because I’m so judgmental when it comes to dating….. and I couldn’t stop. I kept ruminating until I later on the couch, closed my eyes, and started giving myself grace. I had shut down for over 30 minutes. And now I’m scared of dating in general.

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Struggling😢

Can having socd make you lose attraction. I have never be the girl to obsess or chase after boys does that mean I’m gay. I had crushes on them but I would rather die then have them know I like them. Plus I knew they were out of my league so even if they did like me I feel like I would say no for some reason. I have been single all my life and thinking of being in a relationship feels so weird and scary and foreign. Like I feel like I won’t be in a relationship. I won’t look good with anyone or I will feel like an imposter. Idk how to explain it. I want to feel love but all this is making me feel like I never will.

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

Advice

As someone who has never been in a relationship it’s hard for me to envision myself in one and know what it will feel like. I feel like being 21 I’ve protected myself a lot due to insecurity. I want a boyfriend and yet I don’t it’s just all really scary for me. I never had the stupid relationship to break the ice and now I’m putting so much pressure and emphasis on things and finding the RIGHT person. Also have hocd definitely doesn’t help. I’m working on myself and doing my best. But my current feelings are: I don’t like the way I look, I can’t imagine myself with someone, and I’m never going to find someone I click with and feel good with. Any advice??????

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