angcarol

Date posted: 2y

Am I crazy?

Hi all! I'm new here and have my 1st appt soon. I have always been "diagnosed" with generalized anxiety, but I recently learned more about OCD. I realized my thought processes are the problem that lead to my anxiety and even panic feelings. They are all over the place, from watching a movie and relating to the characters too deeply to feeling overly empathetic for anyone or anything. It can feel very isolating and like you're crazy. It seems to be rarely discussed, as people think OCD is strictly related to physical acts of some sort. SSRI's aren't helping much anymore, OR they make me completely numb. I am tired of "talking myself off the ledge" and need help redirecting my thoughts. I hope this treatment helps. Does anyone else deal with being overly empathetic which leads to anxious thoughts?

court26

Date posted: 2y

I can relate to this. If you don’t mind em asking what SSRI are you on?

angcarol

Date posted: 2y

I stopped my Wellbutrin in June and felt better than I have in a long time. I strongly believe it ultimately made my panic worse. However, I took Lexapro for many years until it finally stopped working. Nothing has worked the same since, other than Zoloft although it makes me NUMB. Like zero feelings, including ZERO libido. Not good. So I'm on no meds now.

angcarol

Date posted: 2y

Sorry, forgot to also add...I tried Prozac recently, but I couldn't get past the initial side effects of extra anxiety, so I stopped it after two days.

court26

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous Gotcha. I had zoloft before and it was wonderful for my general anxiety and my ocd theme that I had at the time. I think it kinda stopped working tho. I was on Luvox before and it was a life saver for my OCD, especially since it’s an OCD med, but I didn’t really have a libido on that which I really didn’t like. Risk benefit I guess :(

angcarol

Date posted: 2y

@court26 Lexapro was really good! I hate it stopped working. And i really liked Zoloft. I’m on hormone replacement therapy that includes testosterone so I’m considering trying Zoloft again to see if the test therapy will help combat the libido issue.

court26

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous I’ve never tried lexapro but I’m not opposed. I have a med management appointment tonight for the first time in a while (I wonder what she’ll suggest to me, even though I know I can suggest as well lol) I wish you luck! Ocd definitely isn’t easy on top of life in general lol

angcarol

Date posted: 2y

@court26 - I would say please ask about Lexapro if you're willing to try. I'm just not sure about it's clinical use for OCD, but it certainly worked for whatever I had going on. Best of luck, hope you find just the right thing! :)

court26

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous Thank you so much! You as well

NewToOCD8

Date posted: 2y

I can totally relate. I was diagnosed with OCD about 14 months ago. It sounds like you might also be HSP (highly sensitive person). HSPerson.com has some resources. I, too, am extremelyyy empathetic and can also get way too deeply connected to movies or stories I hear (even when they literally don’t relate to me at all, I can somehow feel like it does) and then those turn into new obsessions. I would highly recommend starting ERP, maybe with a therapist on this app. I also have to limit my exposure to social media, the news, or triggering movies or tv shows. My main theme is religious ocd. I am a Christian and have a lot of great resources for that ocd theme as well if you would like? Either way, I’m praying for you. Just remember you are not your thoughts. If you’re stuck in a ocd spiral, move towards what you value. Also, I don’t take any medication but I’ve had a lot of help by exercising for at least 30 minutes a day (more if possible) and taking a B complex vitamin. There’s a lot of research on people with ocd being deficient in B12 and vitamin D. I would look into that. It’s been my biggest help. Good luck to you 🤎

angcarol

Date posted: 2y

Oh my goodness you just read my story! I’m also Christian with very strong values in faith and would love to know your resources. I have an appt with a therapist here in two weeks. I’ve read about HSP’s as well. I do take vitamins A,D,E K, and B12 daily so thank you for the confirmation. I also take ashwaganda at night. Thank you so much for sharing, and i covet your prayers!

NewToOCD8

Date posted: 2y

@angcarol Have you been listening to Mark DeJesus yet? You can find his videos on YouTube or via a podcast app. He is an ex pastor with religious ocd. A very devout Christian man who knows the ocd struggle well. He literally saved my life when I was in the deepest depths of ocd feeling like I couldn’t tell anyone how I was feeling/what I was thinking. Also, look up Jaimie Eckert on scrupulosity.com. She does one on one sessions and has two group sessions per week for people with religious ocd. She is amazing!!! I am in her sessions every Wednesday. Very affordable also!!! Lastly, read “Can Christianity Cure OCD?” By Dr. Osbourne. All of these resources have reminded me of God’s great love for me despite my sins and any shame I carry. Ocd tried to rock my perception of God and all of those resources helped me to realign. I hope it helps you too! 🤎 Praying for you now!

angcarol

Date posted: 2y

@NewToOCD8 Thank you and God bless you!

angcarol

Date posted: 2y

@NewToOCD8 Me again…i have to add, a year or more ago, i began to question my “abnormally” high level of empathy, so I started researching a little. I stumbled across info for HSP’s and actually bought the book in The link you provided for the HSP! I never read much of it but i will get that back out of the closet now!

NewToOCD8

Date posted: 2y

@angcarol I haven’t purchased the HSP book yet, but I want to. I’m curious - with your extreme empathy, do you find yourself feeling empathetic for the “bad guy” in scenarios even? Before I had ocd (or at least before I realized it was ocd) I looked at everything I such extreme black and whites- either you’re good or you’re awful. I feel like ocd has caused me to even feel bad for people when they’re in the wrong. Like I’m sorry that they’ve made the mistake because I know how bad it feels to feel shame for mistakes (even if mine are way “smaller” than theirs). Not sure if this makes sense, but in the past I was very like “oh, you messed up? You’re a terrible person forever!!” And now I immediately feel empathy for the person who did the wronging. Does that make sense? I’m curious if anyone else feels this way now with ocd

angcarol

Date posted: 2y

@NewToOCD8 Yesss!! I totally get it! My husband doesn’t understand it. Empathy happens to be his top strength on some testing we’ve done in the past, but mine is like unhealthy high. I feel so bad for everyone, even the bad guy! I know i can’t do anything about the situation they’re in, but it’s almost as is i can literally feel myself in their shoes, feeling sadness, shame etc.

angcarol

Date posted: 2y

@NewToOCD8 I’ve had to do some work on setting boundaries because of my empathy. It’s still a struggle because I tend to question if setting boundaries is really biblical, then I need reassurance and scriptures to back it up as a reminder that it’s necessary for my own health.

sshafer89

Date posted: 27w

@NewToOCD8 I feel the same way I know we should know people did wrong and disagree with their wrongdoing and I am sure you do It is good though we have compassion on others’ feelings and want to treat others how we would want to be treated. You have a good heart.

sshafer89

Date posted: 27w

@angcarol Yes! I am actually having to set up huge boundaries with my husband. I feel at times so guilty for it, yet it is necessary

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Ocd/going crazy

Hi about a week ago I found out I have ocd and chronic anxiety! I tried zoloft and it was terrible for me. I also started therapy and I take hydroxyzine but I will discuss further medication with my doctor. My question is I have a huge fear that I'm going crazy, I am crazy, or schizophrenic to the point I'm so hyper aware of my surrounding ill look out the corner of my eye to make sure I'm nit seeing anything ill make sure to double check what I'm hearing and it's so draining! I get really scared and go into a panic and cry 😅 I need some reassurance has anyone felt this way my doctor and therapist explained it to me but I'm still very scared. I feel like one day I'll have a break and I won't be the same! I tried the grounding exercise and breathing it helps temporarily. I also cut out smoking weed and none of my family has this but I feel like I have it or ill develope it even though it's rare!

galina

Date posted: 16w

New here and want to connect

I’m new to treatment and only realized I have OCD a few months ago. I went through a tough and abusive marriage and ended up getting divorced. I had my first panic attack several years ago and ended up needing to go on Lexapro. This helped me significantly and allowed me to leave my partner. Several years later and I decided to stop Lexapro because I thought I was good to go. I’m in a very healthy relationship, have a great job, friends/family, go to the gym and have a wonderful life. It’s been about a year off the meds and I’ve had some panic, but I’ve been able to manage it. For some reason, the last three weeks has been really difficult for me. I have different spirals and different thought processes: what if I’m schizophrenic? What if I have a deeper mental disorder? What if I hurt someone? What if I need to leave my partner? What if I end up becoming so depressed that I end up hurting myself? My brain just goes from one what if to the next and once I conquer one, the next one pops up with even more intensity. I started taking NAC and inositol and I’m taking saffron during the day because I really don’t wanna go on back on medication but sometimes my thoughts scare me and I’m convinced that I’m not gonna get better and I know that’s just the OCD loop, but I’m wondering if this resonates with anyone else!

L0ng16aelak

Date posted: 10w

Unsure if I even have OCD

Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.

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