- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
How to deal with a passive-aggressive individual
Hello, I’m wondering how it is best to deal with a passive-aggressive individual. Let me give some context: It was a month ago when I had a nasty argument with my brother. I had an OCD meltdown the day before in his car, which I must admit was unexpected. He was trying to ask me questions about my plans and actually telling me to go for more exposures, which is a good thing. But it was I think a bit too much, as he was advising I just walk into a bar and start hitting on girls, which is something I’m still very insecure about. I told him just that, and that I just didn’t feel ready. That I needed to be fit, confident, have $$$$, and an “alpha-male” personality. He was disappointed and started telling me that I needed to “man up” and just go for it. I also need to mention that the conversation happened inside the car while driving, so it was a shock to him and he did almost lose control while driving. Now forward on to the next day… We were planning on going to our grandparents’ house to spend New Year’s, and before leaving, he asked me “are you sure you want to go given the incident last night?”. At first, I was confused so I asked “what do you mean?”. He lets me know that he was referring to my meltdown and that he had concerns with me going over there. Which I took it personally and I replied with an anger outburst, since I felt downplayed and invalidated. As if he didn’t trust me anymore and that all the work and struggle I’ve done to get better from OCD didn’t matter. I was pissed off, because I thought we had an agreement in the car to leave it be. But things quickly escalated… Since then, I’ve gotten the silent treatment from him and displays of anger, like breaking my stuff, throwing away gifts I gave him, and constant door slamming whenever I come out of my room or talk to my parents. It’s clear he’s making a statement to “fuck off” and “I want you out of this house!”. I apologized to him twice already, but to no avail. We’re still bitter at each other, and what’s more, I feel a fist fight coming. How to then deal with a passive-aggressive individual? I have no problem ignoring him, but the constant door slamming I find very disrespectful, especially when I’m not even talking to him. It’s driving my OCD nuts!!!