Notocd

@Anna,hi! Yeah the one i had was cbt trained but likely not trained for complex ocd. I read that on here that therapists will be trained for ocd but only know the basics of it. She asked me how I would kill myself despite me not having any suicidal urges or whatever. So i answered it but carefully said im not suicidal but if I did want to kill myself it would be with a shotgun. She said that she didnt want to see me until i went to iop and i told her im not going there because it’s never benefited me. Even on here I was told it was an option. Im tired of being recommended or forced to go to IOP especially if it doesn’t work. Makes me feel like no one cares and throws me away into another drs hands thatll just have the same reaction and throw me into a ward. A week after that session i found out we had another appointment and was asking myself “how do we have another session if she made it clear we weren’t going to see each other unless i went to iop?” During that session she said that I told her i wanted to shoot other people with a shotgun. And i got loud with her and said NO. And she continued to tell me that I needed to go to iop and I’m a threat to myself and others. I haven’t hurt myself or others. I tried erp but i did not like how i was being questioned. Like ocd was a part of who I am. I feel like admitting myself to a hospital. Im not in any danger or whatever but I feel like they would pair me with a better therapist than I could. Every therapist that I ever had always wanted to focus on the smaller problems instead of whats effecting me the most. I’ve been figuring all of this out on my own. Helping myself as much as i can on my own for years. The terrible doctors and therapists that I had make me fearful of getting help. I’m miles deep underwater and all they can suggest is IOP and medication as if I haven’t already tried. It wont help the crap I’ve gone through, not even a crutch.

@wheezer - That sucks that you have a therapist that responded to you like that. I find it odd that she would even ask you that type of question. If you want and/or able to pay out of pocket, maybe try finding psychologist that mainly focus is on ocd and anxiety, and contact them. Many time they can offer a free 15 to 30 min free consult. You can even tell them about the experience you had with this therapist. It is not far to you being pushed around abd to be told that you are a threat, when all you want is help and for the therapist to understand that it is ocd.

@Anna,hi! Yeah I thought it was weird too. She’s the one who made it even harder for me to trust therapists. She used to tell me “you’re going to hate me” “you must hate me now.” I told her I didn’t hate her but I was upset with how she assumes the worst from me then she would say “can you blame me?” It felt pretty narcissistic. Like she was toying with my emotions. Wanting to see me break. But idk. Maybe not. I have a history of people doing that to me and admitting to it after i broke. I can try to pay out of pocket. I had one who was $130 a week. He was the only good one that I found. I told him everything. He was a psychotherapist. Not sure if he was trained but he still listened fully and was extremely caring and his mother suffered with similar things as me so i think thats what helped my situation a bit.