Feeling extremely anxious at work rn feeling extremely hopeless. I feel like I’m turning into a monster and a crazy person . I can’t stop crying I had an anxiety attack in the bathroom. It won’t let me sleep I’m scared I will have an attack in front of all these people and they’ll send me to a mental hospital. I’m terrified and I feel alone . My brain keeps telling me no one can help me . Scared I’ll black out and kill someone . Or just turn into a completely different person entirely. Idk what to do . I don’t want to leave because the depression and anxiety will just eat me alive in my room I feel like I have no control of this anymore . I feel like the only way out is to end my life . Why did my life have to end up like this ? Why does my life have to end like this ? This was never what I wanted .

I’m super aware of intrusive thoughts and they don’t go away and I don’t know how to make them go away or how to deal with them. And last night I had an urge and was almost going to act on one and that terrified me. I came home and the same thought arhat scared me was still in my mind and it scares me. I’m scared I’m going to lose control and become a bad person because I just don’t know what to do about the thoughts and how I’m capable of these things. I even contemplated about admitting myself to a mental hospital to get help because it’s getting bad and I don’t know how to control it. But I’m scared of doing that because what if I just end up staying in there for the rest of my life. What should I do I’m really scared and worried I may never get better and this is it for me.

I have never dealt with severe depression like this, I feel really hopeless and scared, I can't imagine a future out of all my mental health issues and I can't imagine being healthy and happy. The last 3/4 years I feel like I've done nothing but avoid things that are challenging and his at home every day because of my mental health and now it's all hitting me so hard that I'm so unhappy with my life and ick how to push through feeling so bad I can't even eat. I don’t even feel like I want to hurt myself but my will to live also feels so low. I hate feeling like I’m so trapped in a mental health cycle that nothing can break it

My coworkers just busted out a loud and open discussion of Jeffery Dahmer. Talking about how he murdered, tortured, and ate people. And how he had some sort of mental health condition. I literally cannot take it anymore. I just came in the bathroom and started to cry. Im so scared of being like him. I can’t even enjoy anything anymore. Usually work is my safe space because I’m surrounded by lots of people, but now they keep bringing this topic up as a discussion. I’ve felt relatively good all day and then this happened. Like I’m so scared i don’t even know who i am anymore. What if i have the same condition that he did? What if i end up like him? What if I’m the next him? I think I’m crying because I’m scared but what if I’m making myself fake cry because i am a bad person. I keep saying that I’m scared but what if I’m not. I keep saying i would never want to be like him but with if i do want it. I cannot escape this maze that I’m in. I finally felt okay this morning and now i don’t know what to feel. I feel like I’m in distress but am i really? Please help. Does anyone else feel like this? Why did this happen to me? I was so happy literally 8 weeks ago. How does this just happen