Feeling extremely anxious at work rn feeling extremely hopeless. I feel like I’m turning into a monster and a crazy person . I can’t stop crying I had an anxiety attack in the bathroom. It won’t let me sleep I’m scared I will have an attack in front of all these people and they’ll send me to a mental hospital. I’m terrified and I feel alone . My brain keeps telling me no one can help me . Scared I’ll black out and kill someone . Or just turn into a completely different person entirely. Idk what to do . I don’t want to leave because the depression and anxiety will just eat me alive in my room I feel like I have no control of this anymore . I feel like the only way out is to end my life . Why did my life have to end up like this ? Why does my life have to end like this ? This was never what I wanted .

I think that I just need help . I’m a little scared of what the future holds but thank you guys for the support I really appreciate it ? you guys are like family.

You’re not turning into a monster. Your OCD is the monster. Starve the monster: https://youtu.be/AZZIxyY23IA Notice the thoughts and label them: that’s an OCD thought. That’s an OCD thought. Say no thank you and don’t engage. Breath. You are NOT the person you feel like you are under OCDs duress, you are the person who appears when OCD disappears long enough to pop out again. If you’re seriously contemplating hurting yourself to escape OCD, please seek professional help immediately. If you need to, call 911 or your local suicide hotline. This moment and this feeling are temporary.

Can yoy afford going to a therapist or taking some meds? That could help you a lot. You are going to surpass it. You are not alone!

Please don’t hurt yourself! I used to feel the exact same way. I had Harm OCD too and was CONVINCED I’d end up in jail or a mental hospital before the time I graduated college. But, I managed to recover and that’s not even something I worry about anymore. Exposure helped me more than anything, so if you needs tips, let me know. Sending love and prayers your way! OCD is very treatable and you won’t feel like this forever, even if it feels like it!

What if It’s not ocd ? Or what if it is ocd and something else .

What if I’m just crazy and I never realized it till now

I wondered all the same stuff. I thought I had evidence I was actually a psychopath. But literally one of the first things my therapist said to me was, “well we definitely know you’re not a psychopath.” OCD will fuck with you and make you think that this time it’s not OCD. It’s always OCD. Also crazy people don’t question if they’re crazy!

It's actually comforting to know that someone else feels the exact same way as myself. For real, those are my thoughts verbatim most days. It's hard to dig yourself out of a hole like that. I'm starting to see a little glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel because when I read this I got a little smile on my face & said " Damn dude this OCD monster is for real and I'm not fighting it alone". The more I accept my thoughts for what they are (in my head my brain is the plant, I am an army of ants & my OCD thoughts are a herd of aphids I have to keep in check), the easier my thoughts are to fight. I have OCD. You have OCD. It is what it is. Fuck you OCD!! I'm cheering you on naj.