Relationship

Is it normal to find your partner boring? Or thinking of being with him boring? I don’t always find him boring but I’ve just been overthinking my feelings so much that I can’t seem to feel like I used to for him. I’ve never really thought of boredom with him just came out of nowhere cause of how much I’ve been thinking. It just felt like being with him in the future will be boring or everything we do will be boring and nothing will get rid of the boredom. I don’t wanna find that excitement with anyone else I wanna get rid of the boredom in my relationship but it feels like I need to leave my relationship and find the excitement somewhere else but I seriously don’t wanna think of finding the excitement with anyone else.

Merah

Date posted: 2y

Don’t leave. The trap of ROCD is that it wants you to keep breaking up with people. You think that you think he’s boring but you don’t, it’s just the intrusive thoughts you have trying to warp your reality, hold tight…it passes I promise. I dealt with it with my bf for a while but now I’m married to him, it gets better! Never forget ROCD wants you to keep breaking up with people because it’s trying to stop you from being hurt/or stop you from being vulnerable. When you’re in an actual committed relationship ROCD comes along. If you break up with him you may go into another relationship and the thoughts might tell you he’s boring as well, or the thoughts might attack his appearance (nitpick) like saying his nose is too big even though you never thought his nose was too big before, then you’ll break up with him too and it will be a constant cycle. ROCD is trying to get you to look for perfections which doesn’t exist. Always see how you feel when you’re not anxious or fearful around him…THAT is how you really feel. When fear is in the driver’s seat it warps your reality.

kohner10!

Date posted: 2y

@Merah Im in a long distance relationship and we havent met yet and wont meet for 2 more months but ocd and anxiety are really getting the best of me everything used to feel perfect but now it all feels different at one point i truly 100% knew this girl is the one i want to marry but now all the anxiett and depression and ocd from overthinking is really trying to tell me other wise and that i dont wanna be with her and that she has flaws that i cant even pinpoint and i even avoid facetiming her sometimes and idk if its because of my anxiety or if its cause i dont wanna talk to her i really dont know what to do

Merah

Date posted: 2y

@kohner10! Hey, it’s OK! I promise… Everything you just said I relate to, I was in a long distance relationship with my now husband for 3 years!! Everything was smooth sailing until we met in person and OCD developed in my brain. I was anxious around him, scared to FaceTime him, dealing with intrusive thoughts etc. over time, as I learned what I was dealing with I was able to get through it by realizing that I can trust myself to make the right choice. You love her, I know you do because ROCD latches on to relationships that you value. It’s trying to stop you from being committed and being vulnerable, it’s like a protective mom that you don’t need. I started to feel like I didn’t love my husband…it felt so real, but you have to take a deep breath and talk to her anyway, exposing yourself works wonders. As long as this girl loves you, and respects you that’s all that matters. The key is to see how you feel when you’re not anxious!!! How you feel around her when you’re not anxious is how you really feel! I suggest reading a post that I just made a few minutes ago.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

I feel like I don’t love him sometimes 💔

I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔

Mariabae

Date posted: 23w

scary rocd

Lately, I’ve been feeling like my relationship isn’t real. I keep thinking: • Why am I even with him? • Do I actually like him, or am I just used to him? • What if I’m just convincing myself that I like him? I feel numb, disconnected, and nothing I tell myself reassures me. Sometimes, I get really irritable when we talk, I don’t feel joy, and I start overanalyzing everything. It makes me feel like the absolute truth is that I don’t like him, and I’m just in denial. I also heard that when you don’t like someone, there’s no anxiety—just relief. But I have moments where the thought “I don’t want to be with him” crosses my mind, and I don’t feel anything at all. And because I don’t panic immediately, I start thinking “Maybe this means it’s true.” I’ve read that love isn’t about feeling excitement 24/7, but my mind keeps telling me that if I don’t feel connected, if I have to search for reasons why I like him, that must mean I don’t. I feel like I’m losing touch with my emotions, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to feel love or happiness the way I used to. It’s like I keep waiting for some proof that I truly want to be with him, but I never find it. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I’m trapped in this endless doubt, and I don’t know what’s real anymore.

MidoriCora124

Date posted: 22w

My relationship - potential tw???

So I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a month and 27 days and I love him but sometimes I just get the ick when I shouldn’t. I feel that he’s showing me too much affection and repeating things and I don’t wanna be rude and say I’m getting bored. Nor do I want to break up with him. He drove 7 hours just to see me and spent money on me the whole time we were hanging out. And it was fun. The last relationship he ever had was when he was in kindergarten.. so I’m assuming it’s just a new to relationships kind of thing so he accidentally love bombs me but he doesn’t make me feel bad. He’s just so annoying sometimes and I was wondering what I should do. I was considering just being blunt with him whenever I got the ick again. I just feel really bad and like I’m the problem. Thoughts?

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