creativity & freedom

❤️we all just want it to be over already, but do not set a deadline for your recovery (e.g. "i give myself 3 months to get better") and let yourself go at your own pace ❤️accept that healing is a very, very non-linear process with highs and very dark lows.. it's a lifelong process for us those with ocd, when you stop suffering you start learning ! ❤️WITHOUT ruminating on this, identify the root of your obsessive themes. they hurt so much because they go after your deepest wounds. clearing out the fear or pain that stands at the base of your obsessions will help (e.g. my sexual ocd came as an emotional outlet for my inability to accept a new family member in my life) (e.g. my solipsism ocd came from the deep fear of being alone and abandoned) ❤️the truth will always surface. even if you have no hope anymore and not even asking for reassurance helps, put that last bit of your trust in the other people that are in good states of mind and who are trying to help you. remember that you're living by a distorted mind and if you can't trust your own brain, have trust in others. those who love you are your life net when you're down in the slumps. trust me. ❤️ocd can be caused by chemical imbalance. if you feel like you need it, don't be reluctant to try medication. it's important to have the correct dose and the correct meds. it may change a lot before finally being effective, but it can help A LOT. it was lifesaving for me. (I personally took 125 mg sertraline at 14 years old) ❤️cliche, but the exposure part of erp is in you already. we get exposed to relentless obsessions and terrors already by our minds, our part is the response prevention. throw yourself into the depths of uncertainty and fear by refusing to act upon your compulsions. any learned behavior can be unlearned, our brains are changing! 🧠 it does feel like we can't risk because we can't "know for sure" and we better be safe than sorry, right? well, screw this. unlearn these behavior and live life your own way. ❤️connect with other people with ocd. community is our pillar as humans, especially those communities who share our suffering. ❤️we tend to ask for reassurance a lot and other just reassure us because it's rational to them, not being aware thar it only causes us more pain as we have distoerted thinking. teach your loved ones to respond to your reassurance in a way that doesn't feed the cycle. (e.g. reassurance seeking- "hey, are you ABSOLUTELY SURE that I didn't hit an animal on the way back home??" ❌️wrong response- "no, you didn't, I already told you, I don't remember hearing or seeing anything!" ✅️better response- "I can see you are really distressed right now, why don't we go cook something together/watch a movie/paint together/etc.." ❤️keep your faith close to you. there is something bigger around us that surrounds us with love and takes care of us. even if you don't believe in a god, spirituality goes beyond religion. for me, this higher being was the sky, and everytime I saw the giant clouds I'd tell myself that they felt my emotions and they're watching over in my suffering. strangely enough, this pillar i built in the clouds was strong and really did give me a helping hand. who's to tell these connections we make are not real?

Common posts on here are "i had a thought" "why am i thinking this" "what if" and these are all OCDs way of making you doubt yourself while taking you round and round in never ending circles at the same time. Regardless of the theme you are facing, there is no "figuring out" or "making sense" of a thought, because it isn't a real situation - it's a passing word or image or scenario without any meaning attached. You can't control your thoughts and the more you "don't want to have them" the more they will appear. For instance, tell yourself not to think about "apples", it will be the first thing that comes to your mind, because that's just how our minds work. Once you categorise a thought as "bad", every time it comes into your mind, your anxiety level will go up and this makes the thought seem real. Because if it "Feels" this bad, surely it must mean something or must have happened - But none of this is true. All we have to do is naturally notice thoughts as they come up, and rather than try to assess or ruminate over the content, we can almost shrug them off. It's the only way to accept thoughts as simply thoughts and nothing more. Anxiety drives the intense feeling and the more attention you give to thoughts, the more power they have over you. No random thought can change your real intentions. OCD is never ever satisfied, so the only way forward is to accept the uncertainty of never knowing "for sure" and to class the unwanted thought as irrelevant. OCD says "quick..bad thought..feels horrible.. what does it mean.. fix it". But in reality there is nothing bad here or nothing to be fixed, it's a false alarm. Once you learn to respond to a thought calmly by working on anxiety, it gets easier over time. It's your perception of your thoughts that needs to change, you believe they mean something about you, but random things pop into our heads all the time - both things we like and things we don't. OCD also latches onto what we care about most and it always comes with a feared consequence, so think about what yours is, e.g "what happens if my worst fear comes true" you can then practice imaginal exposure which is imagining your worst case scenario over and over until you become desensitised to it and no longer fear it - therapists use this technique in sessions. Everyone in the world has thoughts, the thoughts are not the issue, you just get more of what you focus on, up until the point that you can change your attitude towards the thought. If I asked you if you went upstairs today you would have an answer straight away, however if I asked you a question related to your OCD theme, your anxiety would increase and you would doubt yourself, because that's OCD doing the thinking for you. Once you give it less power it becomes a less significant part of your day. It's so easy to give into compulsions as they feel like a "quick fix".. but as I mentioned, ocd is never happy, which is why it wants us to continue to check and seek reassurance. Once you start reducing and gradually stopping compulsions, whether this is rumination, checking, or a physical action (whatever you falsely believe is "keeping you safe" from your feared consequence) you will see it's not necessary to do them, and that the time consuming little things you have taught yourself to do have no effect on what actually happens in real life. Thoughts prompt feelings and feelings prompt actions - meaning - thoughts cause anxiety and anxiety drives unnecessary actions. As a side note, I overcame contamination ocd (I was in a very very bad way and now the theme doesn't bother me anymore). I still have OCD and it can affect me slightly at times, but i can manage it in a way that it doesn't interfere with my day and without the need to carry out compulsions. Please practice, because I promise it helps, it's super scary at first and extremely difficult but the end result is worth it. ERP therapy is also very helpful.

So i am dealing with my third relapse of ocd and this time the theme is paranormal. So you can imagine how distressing it is. My ocd creates image intrusive thoughts and even gets scared and doubts normal eye vision things. But i am learning through it. But here are some things i have learned and learning : 1. Don't try to runaway from triggers : one thing i have learnt is that we may think that if we runaway from triggers our ocd thoughts will stop, its a big no, it will never because in ocd anything and everything can be a trigger. So even if you think that sitting in your room and not going out will help you, i will say for sometime but then again ocd will come up with new fear. Now i know it will create anxiety but don't runaway from your triggers it is indirectly feeding your loop. 2. Also i would say that try to ignore these thoughts and image intrusive thoughts. No matter how much they come try to shift your focus on something else. Something that gives you happiness like try to think about your dream job and what will happen if you get it, daydreaming a bit is necessary to ignore these negative thoughts, think of your family and friends, your crush, your love maybe. And after few minutes when you shift your focus towards other thoughts and things you will eventually realise that these negative thoughts lose their importance. I know it is extremely tough to shift your focus but you need to do it. Think about your hopeful future, imagine yourself being happy. 3. Ocd brings in a lot of anxiety which leads to brain fog and anxiety and anxiety can create fake sensations, visions and beliefs. It can even cause fake smell also, so whenever ocd brings in the thought that what if i saw something, or what if i listened to something, what if i smelled something just say that anxiety creates fake sensations and it is scientifically proven. Also due to anxiety we become hypersensitive so our senses become more active they tend to notice things more easily. Like being hypersensitive means you will notice normal sounds more, peripheral vision illusions more certain smells more. And it is fine, our body is in hyper alert mode so it will. 4. Even when you start feeling a bit fine and bit okay don't expect that ocd will fade away immediately. It won't fade away immediately, it will take time, your hyper sensitive and anxious brain will take time to normalise things. It may take month or something. And in this moment you will get intrusive thoughts, maybe more weird or bizzarre images or thoughts. Because the brain had gotten into the habit of negative thinking, worrying and anxiety so yeah there will be moments when it will doubt many things, when it will bring extreme intrusive thoughts, try your best to not ruminate over it. 5. I have realised that we ocd sufferers have one thing in common we are very creative people, we love art and expression. And our minds have the habit of constantly think something. I have noticed that my ocd relapses only when my mind is empty, like when it has nothing else to think about, when i am idle and and my life is lonely with no external stimulation. So try to find a purpose and give direction to yourself that's it. Ocd increases when serotonin and dopamine decrease so try to maintain your serotonin and dopamine levels by having healthy diet, investing it into something you like maybe writing, art, music, acting anything you like. You can start a blog or a page or write a book about your ocd journey. 6. Lastly i would say that accept it that yes my brain is a bit more anxious, and it is fine. Also everyone is fighting a battle inside them, we are suffering from our thoughts, some are dealing with something else, and don't try to seek much reassurance or give attention to ocd thoughts, just let it be there and shift your focus. Think about how there are much important things in your life. And ocd happens when we are very scaredy like the ones who get scared easily, so try to win over your fears, win over it. It picks up our greatest fears and feeds on it. Win over these fears that's it. At the end i would say yes the fight is very tough, even though i have understood so many things about it, yet many days i go through the depression, i go through the anxiety, i go through the sadness, and there are days when i just sleep a lot to escape these thoughts and this fear because paranormal ocd is very draining. But i am learning through it and yes one day we all will defeat it. Keep learning, keep fighting, keep growing, stay strong. Ocd is just our mind trying to pull itself inwards away from the external world. Get into the external world, face the real life and real issues, ocd thoughts are imaginary and not real issues.