Just spent waaaay too much time on google. So much time that I went through literally all the articles that covered my question. Just haven’t gone through all the Reddit conversations. No more for today 🤦🏻♀️
Comment deleted by user
@galacti333 Thank you. I feel like I’ve been giving in to it way too much lately.
Same with me today!! I just did hours of googling😢
Glad you stopped. If it’s a compulsion can you try not to do Reddit for the same thing tomorrow.
@Erin P Yes, no googling for me today! Thank you!
@K-M You got this.
@Erin P I really appreciate your encouragement! My husband and I had an extremely triggering conversation last night. It took a lot out of me to not let it carry into today.
@K-M Sorry that happened with your husband. Glad you are trying to keep up your strength against the OCD. Does your husband understand about your OCD?
@Erin P Thank you. Unfortunately no. I told him I have it but he kinda blew it off, saying that diagnoses are thrown around by doctors. I have bipolar 2 also and he doesn’t deny that. With my current obsession it has to do with me deciding not to have kids. He wants them, I don’t, this was known before we got together. He is probably the biggest trigger for me when the conversation comes up, so he just sees it as “I go crazy” with that subject, but doesn’t really understand that I obsess about it everyday.
@Erin P It’s super hard. NOCD is my only outlet really, along with my 2 sisters and my mom. I wish I could talk to my husband about it but the kids subject is just terrible because he believes I’m going against God’s plan and that something is wrong with me for not wanting kids. So I get triggered the most by him really.
On the logical side your husband has know this since before you got together so it’s wrong for him to call you out for something he knew up front. If he feels Gods plan is for everyone to have kids then he should have married someone with the same desires. So many people who should not be parents had kids because they thought they were supposed to. That’s the wrong reason to have kids. Parenthood is tough enough when you want kids. And pregnancy hormones can kick up OCD in some people (it did for me). Nothing is wrong with you for not wanting kids - that’s called free will which is part of God’s plan. Perhaps couples counseling should be on your ERP hierarchy with steps to work up to it. But no matter what if you don’t want to have kids don’t have them.
@Erin P Thank you so much for your comment. It’s been really difficult because I thought it was all fine. I didn’t expect we would get married and I’d end up hearing all of this stuff about how he really felt about it. Sadly I’ve felt stuck a lot and just wanted to run away, sometimes still do but idk if that’s just my OCD wanting to escape. I really appreciate you talking to me.
@K-M Sending you good thoughts.
Yeah haha I do that too, usually as a way of procrastinating when I should be writing my essay…
At the beginning of this year, I experienced false memories for the first time about watching bad stuff online, which I have never done in my life. I then turned to hours upon hours of googling and researching about it and reading articles about it. I'd sometimes google the same articles or topics multiple times a day. I then also remembered that I watched a clip once from Big Mouth (not knowing they were teens at the time). I became so afraid that I was being watched by the authorities or my ISP simply for doing research that I impulsively deleted my Google activity and became extremely paranoid that I was a bad person and a criminal, even though I'd never ever had these types of thoughts before. Then felt bad afterwards because I was like omg what if i am bad because what if it seems like I'm trying to hide a crime. I just really hate myself rn. I know we shouldn't ask for reassurance, but I'm more just pondering this, does this make me a bad person? Is there anyone else who has experienced something similar? Does this mean I still have OCD? or am I truly just only worried about how other people see me? Even while typing this, I'm asking myself, what does this all mean.
I've become so obsessed with knowing whether my devices are hacked or not that I have been getting little sleep. I switch my phone off at night but I can't stop checking it intermittently to see if it's switched on by itself when I'm not looking. Nothing has happened, but I'm wired. Ugh
i really struggle with anxiety because on my OCD (not professionally diagnosed but i’ve been experiencing a lot of symptoms for many years that’s it’s safe to assume i have it). the only way to relieve my stress is to google. But google never gave me proper answers or i just ended up more anxious than to begin with. Instead i started using chat gpt as a quick was to get reassurance. i feel bad using it tho because i know it’s just a compulsion to go and seek reassurance to calm my anxiety but if i dont atleast google something i end up spiralling anyways. it feels like no matter what i do ill be anxious .
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
