How long has OCD been affecting you?

TW I had my first NOCD appointment at the beginning of this month. I think mine started when I was 7 (I’m almost 55) when brother died in an accident (he was a year older). I felt that I might’ve somehow been negligent/partly responsible as I was the last to see him alive. Of course, my parents weren’t in a position to provide me much support (they were grieving themselves). Since then, I’ve been hyper focused on the safety of others.

Most of my life. It became really bad 5 months ago when my current theme started. It's by far the worst I've ever had it

I have had ocd ever since I was like 10 or 11. It was extremely traumatic for me, and how I tried to fight it off was physically pushing the ocd away, but it got so bad in some nights I would scream and cry and toss and turn and try to fight off the ocd and it was just horrible. And I haven’t ever gotten help for it even though it was noticed and I was diagnosed with it at a young age. It festered in my head and I still have it today 18 turning 19 soon and I need help so I saw this app on tic Tok and came here.

Around 11 years old now 44 kinda went away in highschool now back has this happened to anyone else

I am 31 and mine began around the age of 17/18. Back then, there was still a negative stigma around mental illness and not many people understood what OCD was. I was told by several health care providers that I didn’t have OCD and I needed to “get over it”. I thought I was losing my mind and started having some very dark thoughts that landed me in the ER. After graduating college I finally found a reliable psychiatrist who medically diagnosed me with OCD, an Eating Disorder, and depression. I still struggle every day with all of this but it’s nice to know I’m not alone in this world. I can’t help but still feel like my brain is broken.

4 years after a really bad sleep paralysis episode, since then it hasn’t gotten any better, but i am slowly learning to manage it and hopefully soon i can find the courage to get a proper diagnosis and therapy. :)

8 months. I originally have generalized anxiety disorder and now OCD. I'm 21.

my ocd began after my father died i was 7 now i’m 18 and ut really affects my life and my relationship. I cant talk about it to anyone because i dont know how to explain no body knows im ashamed.

I have not been diagnosed yet but intrusive thoughts/images have been affecting me since I was very young.

25 years! I developed OCD at 11 and after starting medication did quite well. Then for about 15 years I felt like my ocd was almost non existent. Now for the last 3 years it has been bad again. Struggling to find the right meds right now but also just started doing erp so hoping I can get back to where I was before.

As long as I remember so age 5/6? But didn’t get diagnosed until 19 Now 28

I can remember checking locks and doors at 10 years old for fear of being kidnapped. I’m 23 now. I struggle with POCD really bad and I’m fighting my way through it.

I'll be 54 this year. Just trying to get me back together.

I've dealt with it since I was a teenager. But it gotten 10 times worse within the last couple of years. It's so bad anymore i feel like breaking down everyday. My mind just won't stop with the intrusive thoughts over ridiculous things. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm lost.

I had my first episode about 7 years ago. I will be 40 this year. Originally it was said to be severe anxiety. But as time has gone on, my doctor and I have narrowed in on OCD. I am just beginning treatment, but I often fear that it is something worse like schizophrenia. I have been told that is one of the tricks of OCD. That it likes to convince you it’s something else. I am curious if anyone else has a more internalized OCD. I don’t seem to have any physical compulsions, they are all mental. Just constant analysis of my thoughts and feelings.

A couple of months now. Since the anniversary of my dads death.

I still don’t have a diagnosis, but I’ve been dealing with symptoms since about the age of 13.

Hi all! I’m new here. I’ve had anxiety since I was a toddler. I got diagnosed with Pure O, relationship OCD, and death OCD about 4 years ago. I didn’t realize OCD was what I was actually dealing with, but the relief in knowing is great. I’m 25 now!

I remember starting when I was about 5 or so, the theme being inappropriate thoughts about my parents. I was terrified and didn’t know what was happening, and I thought I was a bad person. I have had scrupulosity for a long time, and ROCD since I was a teenager. I have had small bouts of other themes such as contamination around bed bugs, some health-related OCD, some existential OCD, and some harm OCD when my sister was a baby. ROCD has been the biggest theme because I greatly value love and relationships—for the first time, I developed ROCD around a close platonic friendship. I did not realize it might be OCD until I had a particularly bad spell when I was 26. I am 29 and I am finally getting ERP treatment and am on meds again. It is difficult to realize I will always have OCD, it is frustrating and sad to come to terms with the fact that because OCD is misunderstood, I lived with it without help for 20 years, and I’m hopeful if I embrace treatment and learn to sit with discomfort, that I will get better. It’s really hard out here, the feelings and fear is so, so real, but I love all of my OCD people and am sending all the love as you confront this beast.

It’s affecting me so bad idk what’s real and what’s not I don’t know what I want or I do not want I don’t know what’s an imagination or a true desire I want it to end but I also have to accept my thoughts

I estimate that my OCD started when I was 10. I got diagnosed when I was 25. I got diagnosed at an inpatient facility five or so years ago. Since, I haven't found a therapist worth a damn 🥲

Hi, I feel kind of afraid of sharing my things here. I am 49 years old, and was diagnosed with OCD in January. I had suicidal thoughts every day for 30 years without being suicidal. The last decade the phobias, the paralyzed state, the avoidance and the consequences has worked as a hidden glow, litting everything I love to fiercely burn so fast, that I am waking up to a reality where all my efforts throughout my life, everything I worked for despite my increasing problems are in ruin.

I’m 40 and awaiting diagnosis. Looking back I can remember it right back to before I was ten I suppose and I remember vaguely a day where things changed when I was small. Maybe that day was the day I became old enough to realise something was wrong and it was there all along. Who knows.

Need to overcome thoughts

Since I can remember. I cannot recall a time without it

8 years off and on

I've just been trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I mean I know there are numerous things wrong with me including brain damage. This is something my son has said I had OCD for years. I just figuring it had a lot to do with him not putting tools away when he was done with them. I was aware that I did things like that. Wanted tool put away correctly. But it didn't really seem to bother me. I haven't been diagnosed yet. But now I think I am looking in the right direction for this disorder anyway. I acquired brain damage 6 years ago. Since then it has become very cumbersome. I have a lot to learn about OCD And ERP therapy. The hardest part is a lot of drugs do not affect me due to the brain damage. I kinda think I have ADHD as well.

Mine started around 8

Diagnosed at 15 but been struggling with it for as long as I can remember. Always terrified over the most pointless things

OCD for me took up mental residence when I was around 7 or 8. For example…If all of the Venetian blinds in the house were set exactly the same way, water faucets turned at the exact right angle, and exact prayers said at just the right time, it was going to be a perfect day, right? So I thought…there’s a difference between wanting to be tidy and taking it beyond. I truly believed (and feared) that if things weren’t JUST the right way something terrible would happen. A few years later, in High School, I had a small part time job, and would call the front desk at least twice in a row to be sure they got my message, even when speaking to a live person. At the time I was unaware of OCD, and, truly no offense, but thought that only meant you washed your hands 30 times in a row…so surely not “I”’could have OCD! Yeah, right!

Since I was about 18. So 25 years.

The last two years I reached a terrible peak of symtomps increasing and taking total controll me and then culminating in total collaps in January, loosing everything I own in the process. Two years without being able to communicate , open letters, reply, its impossible to cover all the details of this period in this comments - but I am an business owner and on the surface everything seemed fine. I am slowly understanding my compulsions which has been hidden in the OCD scenarios of bombarding thoughts leading me to fear and believe I was schizofren

4 years ever since I had a random episode of sexual religious intrusive thoughts. Ever since then life has completely changed.

Im 31 and have had OCD since I was like 5 - honestly before I can even remember. I used to pull my hair out when I was 3 , only recently got diagnosed . OCD has robbed me of my own happiness

Mine started at the age of 35, I remember getting my wisdom teeth pulled and being put on a very strong pain med. I experienced a panic attack and ever since then I’ve been battling with anxiety, etc.

I have been affected by OCD, anxiety, and depression my whole life. However, I was only diagnosed a little over a year ago. It was so bad that I had to take a leave from college and I ended up participating in a partial hospitalization program. It was AMAZING and really changed my whole life. Since coming back to college, I have fallen out of doing my exposures (i did ERP at the program) and have fallen back into a really bad state. I'm trying my best to work through it and practice mindfulness and thought-reframing but that only goes so far.

I’m the survivor of a long marriage filled with severe anxiety and perfectionism and relationship Ocd. Also now living with an adult child with environmental ocd and perfectionism. I’m controlled by waves of anger and emotional outbursts due to the constant need for approval and praise. Every social experience ends in anger and a long discussion about how I was too loud, too social, the spouse was ignored or a whole list of how my spouse was offended by my behavior. I’m a victim and prisoner of over-thinking to the point of losing my confidence and desire for anything outside of sitting and making sure everything is according to the spouses requests. It’s getting worse, the money and financial control is getting worse.

I been suffering from OCD for 29/30 years. Remember my first symtoms of intrusive thoughts and violent images. Every day. Didnt tell anyone til January 2023

Thanks for sharing wish I new why it went away I mean it's like it magically disappeared and reapperd 4/5 years later

In a small way manageable for years know pretty bad can't get any peace

I am 70 now and first experienced what I now consider ocd when I was 155

I have yet to get any satisfactory therapy

sorry 15

Started at about 10-11 years old; counting, praying. I would play scenarios over and over in my mind where I save my mother and if not done correctly she would die. It stopped at about 13 years old. Started back up again at 35 when my in laws were very rude/prejudiced with me. I'm 55 now. My mental compulsions are all having to do with bullying themes- being treated unfairly, verbally attacked...in my compulsions I relive the scenes but I 'win', I attack the 'bullies' with the correct comebacks. And according to my OCD the 'bullies' are my husband, mother, sister, in-laws. It's always one of these people. My OCD never says I'm the 'bad' person, it says everyone else is bad trying to bully/humiliate me.

I was 21 and a Jr. In college. I started to step over shadows on the ground, then step over cracks or lines. Then in class, i had to write and rewrite my notes until they were perfect. I would throw out pages and pages of notes until i couldn't keep up with the Professor any longer so i would just sit in class and listen. I could no longer concentrate in class. I was brushing my teeth until they bled. I would cound when i brushed. I was counting every body part when i showered or dried myself over and over. I was eating all of my meal but spitting out the last bite. By rhe end of the term my Professors knew I had a problem and were creative with tests and essays. Once I finished that semester, I didn't return. I did get some help and eventually went back to another college and was able to graduate. That was 35 years ago...the therapy and treatment continues.

I get it. I opened and closed drawers repeatedly also. It drove my roommates mad. They were cruel. They didn't understand. I count things all the time. The gulps of water I drink, I even count my fingers. I could never get over thresholds/doorways. I'd step over and back over and back. Sometimes I wouldn't even have a specific number in mind. I just did it until it felt right. I never had children because I knew they would be neglected because I could barely care for myself. Thank God for my husband. He's an enabler, but at least he let's me be myself and he still loves me. More than I love me I'm sure.

TW: sexual themed ocd: For me it started when I was 17. I am 25 now( 8 yrs). I just started getting anxious about the fact that intrusive thoughts of pen**es started popping up in my head lol. Eventually, I didn't want to leave the house to avoid seeing people and getting intrusive thought about them. It was very distressing for many years. Now I sort of ignore the intrusive thoughts. They are still hard but I kind of bury them away or shut them off on my head.(complusion?). Its tough :)