I cut myself for the first time today. Life's too hard, I dont know what to do. I got my first job and I'm starting tomorrow and I'm a wreck, I'm worried sick that I won't be able to work due to my social anxiety. I keep having suicidal thoughts. I feel trapped.
Have you spoken to a therapist? The intrusive thoughts are so hard, but there is hope. So many of us have been there. You are important and worthy and the world does need you.
Im in therapy but my next meeting is on Monday. I wish I could believe that I'm important. I feel like a failure.
@M4ks Please let someone in your life know how you’re feeling. I know it’s scary and it’s hard to believe anything could be true besides the painful thoughts, but there is a path besides the one you see now 💙
@M4ks Also, there is the SOS feature in this app if you need to talk to someone sooner than Monday. I dont know you, but I care, and I am sending you so much love, positivity, and hope.
@justgottaknow Thank you for your kind words. I went to work today, it turned out not as scary as I imagined. I know it's gonna be hard for me to work with people with my social anxiety but I see hope. Thank you for caring.
Careful, this is a slippery slope. You are capable of anything you want to be or do. You have to believe in yourself and your capabilities. Self harm is not the answer. This is your ocd winning. You MUST refuse to let it win. It’s a liar, it’s ego, and it’s just a way of thinking that you can train to use to your advantage. Don’t get caught in the ruminating. Get up move around, jump around, run, grab a book, but don’t let it Winn. You got this!!!! Please reach out if you need!
One of my issues is that I rarely believe in myself and my capabilities. I hope it will change one day.
Call 988 if you need to. Use the blue sos circle in here for advice if you need to. Can you try ERP scripting to get you through tonight (link for info if you aren’t familiar with this https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ I remember meeting someone treatment who couldn’t even go into the support group from for more than a day. Now they work in a customer facing job and are doing great. So know there is hope - ERP therapy is it.
I don't think it's my OCD honestly, I think it was just excessive worrying. I tend to see only the bad scenarios and obsess over everything going wrong. I don't know why I do that.
@M4ks Here’s something that may help with negative thinking- not sure if there’s a better site https://thebestbrainpossible.com/negative-thinking-depression-mind/
@Erin P Thank you
@M4ks 😀
Feel like I'm stuck In a trap with my harm OCD, I've just moved in with a friend and now the thoughts are centered on him. Im looking for a new job but I don't know how I'm going to do it as I'm just constantly anxious and bombarded by intrusive thoughts. I don't even know who I am anymore
I have not held a job in nearly a year now. Not since my son came home from the hospital. Something makes me unable to be away from my house and not feel overwhelmed by the anxiety it causes. I am exhausted and tired and more stressed than ever. My husband has started verbally abusing me and making me feel like everything is always my fault. If he loses something I am the first to be blamed for it and he doesnt let up until it's found. If I am the one to find it it fuels him more to tell me how I am a thief and a liar when I haven't done anything wrong. I have started to question my value as a person and I have a pain in my chest that leaves me feeling suffocated and unable to function. I spend so much of my time defending myself and feeling unsure whether or not I should defe d myself at all. I'm losing my mind. I finally found a new job and yesterday when I got to work I had a message from my husband saying that I stole his medication and I had such a horrible panic attack that I passed out in my car. I woke up and was almost two hours late for work so then I freaked out and I was too afraid to go inside to work. I called the HR department and explained everything going on so I have to see a doctor and get their paperwork turned back in before I can return to my job. I'm worried that even if I do get the forms filled out that I still will lose my job. I am so worried. Rent hasn't been paid yet this month and I have been so stressed out that I have virtually shut down altogether. I have no motivation to do anything and I am having to watch my little boy suffer through all the fighting and all the crying. I actually chopped off my own hair this afternoon. I was fed up and I don't know why I did it but my husband was recording my panic attacks and getting a video of me freaking out made it obvious to me that he doesn't care about me anymore other than as something to entertain himself when he is bored. He has become someone I can't trust and it gets tiring having to protect myself and who I am at all times. I don't know how to get out of this situation because I have literally no money and I have no friends in this town. I guess I'm just looking to feel accepted somewhere. I feel like a failure and a let down. I feel like something is seriously wrong with me.
I feel like I’m on the very edge tip toe of a nervous breakdown but there’s no where I can go. If I go to a hospital I’ll loose my job that I so desperately need. Then what life will I have anyway?
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