How do I make friends?

I'm just feeling pretty bad about myself bcuz I literally just don't know how to make friends. Everytime I think I make a friend they don't stay. People tell me all the time they love my personality and that I'm really 'fun' but I guess just not good enough to make a friend and that sucks. Like maybe I'm too much, and too weird, which I get sometimes. Im 21 for reference. I don't know. How do I be myself if no one actually really likes 'myself' ?

savvlimes

Date posted: 2y ago

Yea I have the same problem. Sorry you are also dealing with this, it is tough since having friends is an essential part of life. I think maybe u just haven’t found people m u really click with. Same for me, I had friends in high school because they were people my personality clicked with but then high school ended and we lost touch. I believe God will place good friends our lives when it’s time.

OCDdontownme

Date posted: 2y ago

I think it just takes time to find the right ones. Hang in there. You have this community ❤️

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@OCDdontownme Yes i have this community online, but no one real who actually completely cares and is a friend in real life

Kindness

Date posted: 2y ago

This advice isn’t OCD related, but it’s based on my experiences in childhood, where I had literally zero friends and was told by loved ones that there must be something wrong with me because I could not make friends. (I think that experience contributed to the OCD I experience now.) When I got to college, I started getting involved in activities that I was truly interested in and liked a lot; that’s how I finally developed friends. Just found people who shared my interests and were easy to be around. And I was my quirky self and they were their quirky selves. I found that the traditional friend-making approaches (go to a bar, introduce yourself to people at parties, etc.) fell totally flat and deflated me. So maybe consider volunteering for a cause you love, in person, and you might find people you are connected to that way. Hang in there. I’ve been there. I sat alone at lunch for an entire year in middle school. Now I small group of great longtime friends and coworkers who are also close friend. Be yourself. You’ve got this.

Madjid

Date posted: 2y ago

Sometimes with OCD it's just in a person's head that nobody likes him and the world is miserable so on

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@Madjid Maybe, but I’ve also seen this since I was little when ocd wasn’t really a huge issue

Madjid

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous Me I've changed all my previous impressions that happened to me in the past the reality is what you want to see not what you don't want to feel. Bad feelings are OCD

FactsOverFear

Date posted: 2y ago

I relate to this point so much. Have you tried Bumble BFF?

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous No, i Guess i didn’t phrase what I wrote correctly. It’s not that I need friends. It’s more so about feeling defeated and ‘not good enough’ when someone i think I was actually becoming friends with, doesn’t feel the same. Ya know?

FactsOverFear

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous - Oh yeah, I get that. Like why are they friends with other people but not me? I also feel like I'm not good enough or I'm weird or else they would've wanted to be my friend.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous This is exactly the case I’m feeling. Like Everytime I think I made a friend, they never actually stay or I feel like they ghost me slowly lol cuz at that point I’m the only one reaching out

aza holmes

Date posted: 24w ago

Love

I’m confused. I think I’ve gotten progressively more boy crazy and more of a hopeless romantic, but I’ve completely manipulated myself into thinking that boys just don’t like me and I think it’s a fact. In the past, I was confused and lost on what my sexuality was so I would be in a lot of “flirty” friendships thinking that I genuinely liked my female friends I had these friendships with but that was far from the truth. I can’t imagine myself being with a woman but for some reason it’s just easier for me to talk and flirt with them. I have trauma involving why I brainwashed myself into thinking that I’m a magnet that repels boys from me and I still think that and it’s ruining my brain. (I have a crush on this guy and texted him for the first time, he never replied!!!) which honestly proves my point even more. Am I right or is just all in my head? Some advice please!!

Givenup

Date posted: 24w ago

Living with uncertainty

I feel like no one cares about me... Im struggling in college and it just feels like I cant catch a break... Ive made bad choices that make me a bad person... I have to be uncertain about worst case POCD scenarios that may or may not have happened unknowingly... I genuinely dont feel like any one cares about me... and if I pass away, ill be laughed at and forgotten by everyone... Im alone with no gf, barely any friends, and I cant even be certain that my POCD fears of unknowingly cybering with a minor did or didnt happen... im stuck in hell...

GuiltyGrapes

Date posted: 22w ago

Why am I still here?

My life has been hell, and I don’t know how to move on. I (15M) did awful things when I started high school, thinking being sexual was the way to connect. I crossed boundaries, overshared, and kept flirting with friends and making sexual jokes, even after they said no (all over text). One friend stopped talking to me and can’t even look at me now. I feel like a monster. Why shouldn’t I be locked up? If I got therapy, I feel like I’d be sent jail. How can I ever move on?Then there were these 2 guys who were older than me one was 16 one was 17. The 16 yr old was introduced to me by my online friend who is my best friend and I begged the 16 yr old for pics (idk how it started but after my friends ex randomly messaged me and sent me pictures and then blocked me right after I think I became addicted to chasing that high) the 16 yr old eventually sent me a pic but it was real and I stopped bugging him on it after that but i feel so bad I did that but my friend tells me not to feel bad cause the guy was weird but I still feel bad. Then the 17 yr old I did the same thing with him but went too far when I tried getting pics from him by using my best friends ass pics she sent me (she was 15) I don’t think I grasped how wrong this was but that’s not an excuse she eventually found it when I told her after she tried getting pics from the guy herself to try and help me and the guy got mad when she stopped talking to him cause we found it weird talking to him. I told her about how I sent the pics she said she felt sick but forgave me cause she thought I was gonna harm myself. Fast forward the guy told me after I had still been flirting with him that I s@d him (we never met in person ever) and I felt so guilty and apologized a lot and he got annoyed and told me that he had been kinda manipulative to me and kept me in a loop of mystery and I don’t talk to him anymore. But one of my other friends stopped talking to me after I was being by too emotionally taxing on him because I became very depressed and didn’t wanna life anymore and tried to stop lifing a few times. And now idk if I actually s@d someone if I did that to someone and now I think I’m a pdo and I think I s@d my baby cousins and my little brother and now I’m scared bf I can’t even get help because my parents don’t believe in therapy and even if I wanted to I’m scared because I don’t want to go to jail but I think I deserve it honestly why should a monster like me live.

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