Intrusive thoughts

I just had a very disturbing intrusive thought I have so much anxiety so my bf was telling me this horrible disgusting story about someone who did something sexual to a dead body now when he told me that I got an intrusive thought saying “what if I wanna do that” and I even got an intrusive image of me doing it I feel so disgusted then I kept thinking about it asking myself why would I have this thought “what does this mean” then I got an even worse one and it was my bf dead body is this normal would if I’m going crazy this is so disgusting and this happens to anything bad I hear on the news it’s so bad what if Im going crazy please tell me someone been thru this I feel so disgusting

biocult

Date posted: 2y

I've had intrusive thoughts of a sexual theme before. It was very disturbing. It helped me to share it with my therapist. It took me several minutes of balling my eyes out between words because I was so afraid. Do you have a therapist you could share your thoughts with? She told me that whenever the thought comes up, try not to do any mental compulsions, like pushing it out of my head. She basically said to use mindfulness. So recognize you're having the thought, acknowledge that you are thinking about it. Then label it as an OCD thought. Then you can let the thought "float by" like a cloud in your mind. The last step is to participate in and notice the sensations of whatever you are doing, whether it's work, chores, hobbies, etc. I hope this helps. I know how painful these thoughts are. A therapist could help you do exposure response prevention with thoughts like this too. Also last but not least, use self compassion. It's so important to be kind to yourself. What would you say to a friend that was having unwanted disturbing thoughts? You can't control your thoughts and feelings. They are not a reflection of who you are. Best of luck to you ❤️

Fs144

Date posted: 2y

@biocult I’m so exhausted I feel like a disgusting person and why would I have that thought if my bf I loveee him so much and I don’t have a therapist and I’m supposed to be taking my meds but I don’t want to I get anxiety and there’s hella side affects

MintyMLP

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous I think it would be a good idea to talk to a doctor or psychiatrist and try a new medication if the side effects are so bad they make you avoid taking your meds.

Fs144

Date posted: 2y

@MintyMLP It’s not the side affects my anxiety just wont let me and I hear so much bad things about fluoxetine and I don’t wanna be on anything I wanna get better by myself but I don’t think that’s possible

MintyMLP

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous I feel you. So you haven't started taking it at all yet? When I started having OCD symptoms I started on a couple of different medications. I had no idea I had OCD, but after 3 or 4 meds Zoloft is what worked for me. The important thing is when you take your meds make sure your loved ones know so they can notice how you feel from the outside. Also, keep track of how you feel with an emotion journal and write down any side effects you may have. It's scary to take meds like that but they can help you feel better. If you want to try to manage OCD without meds I highly highly recommend doing therapy. If you can take NOCD therapy that's probably the best thing I've done. If not, finding a therapist who is educated on OCD is so important because if you have a therapist who doesn't understand they might just feed OCD by giving you reassurance. The goal is to manage the emotional response not the thoughts.

MintyMLP

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@MintyMLP I'm not on Zoloft anymore, I'm just doing therapy. My OCD is much more manageable than when I started having it though.

Fs144

Date posted: 2y

@MintyMLP I only took it once and I really wanna therapist but my mom doesn’t have time to get me one and I’m just suicidal I don’t know if I can do this anymore

MintyMLP

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous I'm sorry I didn't see your reply until now! I hope you are feeling better today. If you are still feeling suicidal please tell a loved one or call 988 for help. I know it's really hard and it seems like there is no hope but there is. My boyfriend has been suicidal in the past as well.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

Yes, you are normal and that’s a normal response. When I read what you wrote I pictured it in my brain just like you did when he told you rhe story. That’s what brains are suppose to do. The ocd brain, however will take that thought and image and play it over and over trying to make sense why you had it and what it means. It’s no different than him telling you a story about a puppy and your brain picturing it. The problem isn’t rhe thought, just the way you are responding to it.

feelinalone.

Date posted: 23w

i’m so anxious right now.

i had thoughts of “planning” to harm my boyfriend. we have a trip coming up and my intrusive thoughts were telling me “nobody will know if you harm him all the way over there”, then my mind started rambling on like “everyone will know-“ and so on and so forth, it actually made me feel like i was contemplating on doing something and now it feels like im turning evil ): has anyone had thoughts like this?

taboo_brain

Date posted: 22w

I wonder where these types of thoughts stem from

I’ve struggled with necrophilic intrusive thoughts for a while. Every time I hear that someone passed, especially if it’s someone I know, my brain will be like “you want to r*** their dead body”. It’s really disturbing and makes me feel horrible. I feel like I need to tell everyone so they know the “real” me and I fear they wouldn’t like me anymore. A friend of mine, her friend passed away recently and I got the same thought about her. I want to confess to her but I know I can’t. Does anyone relate?

Just trying ...

Date posted: 18w

I’m wondering if anyone has any insight or tips

So recently I have been talking to this guy and I really like him and for the past week I felt really good and happy about it, but then a sneaky intrusive thought popped up about what if in the future when and if the time comes to sleep in the same bed, I inappropriately touch him while he’s sleeping. Now I’ve struggled with sexual intrusive thoughts like that before so my brain just kept reminding me of how that thought felt the last time it came up, and the thoughts of sexually harming this person started snowballing and making me feel worse and worse. I spent most of the day crying and panicking wishing my brain could just shut down, and now all I want to do is hide from this person so I don’t get the chance to hurt him, which makes me feel even worse because I had been feeling so good about him just the other day. I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced this and if they might have any insight

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Intrusive thoughts

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