- Date posted
- 6y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah I've done the same and it went on for 3 years, unsure how bad it was, but at the time I could see it as, not my best moment but no big deal. I'd come up with a solution only to find a "what if" after a while. There'll always be, what ifs. The only solution I've found is to let the fears worries be there and not to answer them but take the anxiety. Checking the memory will keep you locked into ocd. With time, the fears will fade, once you stop giving in and checking.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah my compulsions(ruminating) caused my false memory ocd. Once I stopped trying to prove the thoughts were wrong, just let them lie, despite the anxiety, they start to lose their power. Takes practice and time, and don't give in to checking memories on the subject or you just end up back on the hamster wheel.
- Date posted
- 6y
I don't struggle as much with false memory (just occasionally). In my case I do know that it happened (Even though it was 20 years ago) but i feel the urge to check what that makes me, to see how bad it was, to justify and sooth, to compare with other people, to self-punish, to confess and to try to imagine what people would think of me.
- Date posted
- 6y
My OCD started with that and then it shifted to false memory OCD which hit hard because I was already anxious.
- Date posted
- 6y
Eventually I accepted I'm imperfect and people make mistakes. But don't say it to seek reassurance. Cause my compulsions actually caused my false memory OCD.
- Date posted
- 6y
Good to know I am not the only one. What exposures did you do for the real events?
- Date posted
- 6y
I struggle with this as well, and I think it has started to lead to some false memories, too. It's like I start to question sometimes which memories are true. I think Garrett has good advice. Not always easy to follow, but I have to stop reliving these memories. My OCD tells me that maybe this time I'll remember some little detail that will somehow make things ok. But that never happens, and I suspect that even if it did, I would question whether that was a real part of the memory, or a false memory that I made up as a part of my compulsion to try to soothe my anxiety.
- Date posted
- 6y
My false memory OCD convinced me I somehow killed someone without knowing. As you can imagine, that almost drove me to insanity.
- Date posted
- 6y
I even called the police because I felt I needed to confess. But there was nothing to confess. False memory OCD is one of the worst.
- Date posted
- 6y
I hear you
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hello OCD friends! I'm new on here, but here has been the top question mark in my mind lately. How exactly is one with real event and false memory OCD expected to make or form relationships with others? I know confession compulsions are quite common place in this type of OCD, and that they should be avoided, but i'm not sure how exactly to get over that feeling of "lying" to your partner, even though you technically aren't lying about anything, just keeping things to yourself that are meant to be kept to yourself. I'm working against the confession compulsions and working on keeping the past in the past. But it feels so difficult to form a relationship when I feel this huge issue under the surface.
- Date posted
- 16w
Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- OCD newbies
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- False Memory OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Date posted
- 11w
I would really appreciate it so much if someone took the time to read this and help me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I haven’t posted here in awhile. I had my OCD managed pretty decently for a year or so on medication, but I had to stop taking it, and after around 3-4 months, the OCD has become unbearable again. It used to be much more surrounding existential themes, eating, and others, not really real event/false memory stuff. But now it’s gotten really out of hand and I don’t know how to do it anymore. It’s surrounding a time of my life a long time ago. It was a dark time. I wasn’t myself and I was going through a lot of things, and I did a lot of things I regret. I self-destructed, embarrassed myself, and wasn’t good to the people around me. I was able to get my mind off of it for a long time, even though I would still think about it a good amount. I was able to be in the present, at least moreso than now. But now that I’m off medication, the guilt has become my obsession again. I can’t move on. I can’t do anything without thinking about all of these memories. I’m obsessed. I’ve started hating myself again, so much so that it’s hard to do anything anymore or believe I deserve anything good. The people around me tell me it wasn’t even that bad, but to me it was. To me, I failed myself, lost myself, and failed everyone around me. I can’t stop thinking about every person I said something wrong to or every time I screwed up. I’ve now started to convince myself I did terrible things I can’t remember, and that my mind just can’t deal with it. And that’s why I feel so guilty. There’s nothing to really support this though. But I’m starting to really convince myself that’s true. I’m trying not to listen to it, because I’ve convinced myself I have hit people with my car before and haven’t remembered when I absolutely didn’t and I know I never have. I drive back over and over to check there’s no one, even though I never heard any bang or felt myself anything. I can convince myself of some crazy false memories. So I know that I shouldn’t listen. But it’s hard not to when I have this guilt gnawing at me constantly. I come to conclusions that this guilt must be because I did something terrible that I don’t remember, even though I already think the things I remember were bad enough. But I would know by now right? If I did something bad I don’t remember? I don’t feel like this all the time. But it’s a lot of the time. But maybe that should be reassuring, that I only start obsessing like this when I think to. The past haunts me though. And I can never be in the present. I’ve started to resort to some unhealthy behaviors to distract myself or help me work towards something. I am starting to hate myself so much and feel like there’s no way I’ll ever be able to get out of this loop. I feel like I just can’t do this anymore. Maybe I need to go back on medication. But I don’t know. I don’t really want to. But will I ever fix this without it? Why do I feel SO guilty, all of the time? I do all these things for people because I feel indebted to them, because I feel undeserving of everything. I feel awful about myself. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone else deal with this?
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