I feel so alone.

feeling alone & scared : how is everyone doing ? 🥹

I genuinely feel so alone and miserable... i had to miss out on an exam because of how severe my pocd got... im currently sick with a fever... and right now my pocd and real events ocd is telling me that im a MAP and a P because of my real events that are pocd related... and people have blocked me on NOCD... so that makes it worse for me... I get scared that Ill be cancelled and demonized because of my real events OCD and POCD situations... i dont ever want to be a MAP or a P in any way... and it legitimately scares me because the last thing i want is to be a P or a MAP...

I have this strong yearning to tell my mother all my thoughts and what I go through on a daily basis but then I get scared of what she'll think of me or that she'll worry even more and feel like it's her fault. I just want someone to understand what im going through but whenever I even begin to explain my thoughts to my therapist, she doesn't really get it and today it feels like no one ever will. like I try to make my therapist understand and bless her heart, she's super compassionate and understands how much pain it causes me but beyond that, it still feels like im not able to fully convey it. I'm sure this is something many people can relate to, but still. I feel alone.