Identity

I’ve been struggling recently.. so I have ROCD.. and that has affected the relationships I have had with people.. or the lack of. Recently things have been strange.. my whole life I have been under the impression that I am straight.. I’ve never seen or felt a sort of attraction to someone of the same sex.. I mean I think women can be very beautiful, but I have never thought about anything like that romantically. Recently that has changed. I cannot stop thinking about who I am as a person and the types of people I am interested in.. and I have heard this can be associated with ocd, and people can have doubts about these things.. but it’s not all about doubt. Is it? I have no idea. How does a person with ocd know if the things they think or feel is ocd or really the way they feel? How do you separate those groups. That’s it.. just lots of thoughts🤷‍♀️

Username: MillerbmMillerbm

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

It sounds like it is ocd. I’ve been going through the same thing as well with ROCD and SOOCD

Username: TerriNopeNotTodayTerriNopeNot...

Date posted: 1y ago

I have HOCD as one of my main themes - sounds like homosexuality ocd to me! I would say that you should live with the doubt that maybe you are attracted to people of the same sex. For me, I’ve learned to live with the doubt and I also consider myself on the sexuality spectrum. That’s helped me. I mean, so what if I am attracted to the same sex? It doesn’t change my love and commitment for the opposite sex partner that I’m with.

Username: blazedblazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m going through this theme rn and it sounds like SO-OCD! I found that not labeling my sexuality helps. Maybe I am gay, bi, or straight- or maybe not. I can’t know for sure which hurts, but when I start to let go, I start feeling like my old self is coming back <3

Username: Lb87Lb87

Date posted: 1y ago

If it is at all helpful, OCD is also sometimes called “the doubting disease.” So if it is a doubt that creeps in, is repetitive, makes you feel like you need to know the answer right away or else something won’t be right/something is wrong, and causes you distress, it is probably OCD.

Username: Lb87Lb87

Date posted: 1y ago

@Lb87 Also sexual orientation OCD is a very common theme!

Username: BronsautracksBronsautracks

Date posted: 1y ago

It’s a common theme in peoples lives and can easily become a theme for OCD, and other disorders that present with anxiety, rumination, and hypersexuality. I grew up in the south and with very little positive exposure to other queer people my age. My mom told me that it was really normal to find women attractive and that all women would probably agree. She told me that because her mom told her that. I never differentiated acknowledging objective attractiveness from actually being attracted to someone, so I went through adolescence and teens thinking every straight woman felt that some women were more attractive than men and just didn’t act on it for convenience’ sake. In college, I found out being bi/pan was a thing and without much consideration, literally just being given a word for it, I was like “oh that’s me.” Been in a heteronormative marriage going on 12 years in April, and I still identify that way. The same thing happened with gender. I’ve gone with the closest option my whole life, not knowing there were others. For this one, it took a while, a little more exposure, because it was harder for me to understand. There was no physical representation of how I felt my gender was different from how I presented, but I had always felt it, my entire life. I was 29 when I found the word ‘genderfluid.’ There it was, clicked right into place. The only distress I felt was at the thought of sharing these revelations with my partner and family, and my OCD would rear its head to make me doubt those identities, after the fact, but never before. It often can’t beat me to conclusions or decisions I’ve come to (I’m impulsive lol) so all it has the opportunity to do is question the outcome. I think it also helps that I’ve always seen most everything like that as a spectrum of one quality and not opposite sides of a fence or anything. Also sometimes I wonder if my mom and gramma were also both bi (gramma sounded pretty gay tho, she thought men were complete garbage in terms of attractiveness) and didn’t know it or acknowledge it.

Username: Anoymous24

Date posted: 51w ago

Ocd making me think I’m bi

Hi, just wanted to post to see if someone can relate or can help me. I’ve had intrusive thoughts about my sexuality here and there, ever since I can remember. But I was always able to move on from the thoughs as I knew deep down they didn’t align with my values. I’ve recently moved to another country to travel with my long term boyfriend and on the first day here I had an intrusive thought that I couldn’t brush off which triggered my first ever ocd episode. Since then I have convinced myself that I must be bi. I’ve gone through past interactions with women and my brain has changed them into reasons to support being bi. I’ve also thought that because clips of girls in couples came up on my tiktok it must mean the algorithim makes me like these videos. I’ve also remebered times in the past where I’ve been worried about being gay so have done an online sexuality test that came out as me being bi … and at the time that gave me relief because it meant I could still be with my boyfriend and I moved on from the intrusive though. But now I’m thinking back on this and freeking out because I don’t actually consider myself bi. Can anyone else relate to this? I’m having the worst time travelling at the moment because of all of this. It’s as if I don’t know who I am anymore. And because of all this it’s actually made me develop Rocd and made me think horrible things about my relationship with my boyfriend who is my absolute rock and best person in my life and who I want to be with forever. Thanks in advance if anyone can help me with this. Posting this is also making me very anxious as I’m scared of the responses I might have.😭

Username: Purplecat24

Date posted: 50w ago

New to NOCD.

I think I've struggled with OCD all my life. I struggle with intrusive thoughts alot and recently I just broke down and fell into a spiral I can't get out of. I found out about relationship OCD and sexual orientation OCD and think I may have those. I had an intrusive thought a few months ago that what if i didn't love my fiance anymore and since then I can't shake the idea. Just the day before I told him how much I wanted him to be my husband and up until that point I didn't question my love for him. I don't understand how things can just shake me like that quickly. I know I love him deep down and anytime I get those feelings back my brain is like "you sure about that?" A week later I had a thought about what if I've been a lesbian this whole time and that I'll marry my fiance only to come out as a lesbian in the future. I've always been ok with being Bi, I considered myself 10-20% into women and 80-90% into men. I always had crushes on men and dreamt of finding the man for me one day. I also find women nice to look at but I don't know if it's admiration or actual sexual attraction. Either way I was find with identifying this way but now I'm so stressed that I've actually just wanted to be a lesbian this whole time and that I'm in denail and closeted. These thoughts are debilitating and now I can't look at women without being stressed or getting aroused.

Username: Anonymousesti

Date posted: 34w ago

SOOCD nowadays

Hi guys, do you ever feel, even when the anxious feelings are gone (and your not in the back door spike window) that you still dont know who you are and what you're afraid of ( for instance in this case, not being straight) is actually true and that whole OCD cycle you're in might or might not be OCD but it doesnt matter because you're just using it as a way of proving that what you're feeling is normal and not actually face the truth? these are my thoughts right now... I was doing well, but even when I am doing well I still think about those stuff idk... like how do I know what true love is? am I faking my love for my bf and one day I'll be tired and actually just "want to accept the truth because its lighter?" becaus at that point I really feel like I'm in a movie and just playing the role of someone. Between renée rapp coming out as a lesbian after saying she was bi and sophia bush an Chrishell stause falling in love with women after being with men all their life its been kind of a triggering week (even tho when I learned it felt like I was happy like yes! they're a part of the lgbtq+ community as if I was part of that community too which triggered me even more) PS : no disprespect to anyone I'm just really triggered and confused!!

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