What would you tell your younger self?

My son is 13 and he has his first appt tomorrow. This is his mom. He doesn’t want to share his thoughts with a stranger, which I get. What is the first appointment like? Could I just ask general questions? Or what would you have wanted to tell your younger self about going to your first ERP appt? Anything I can share with him? I’m not wanting to pressure him. Yet I want him to know what to do to relieve the thoughts, as I know they bother him. I’m not sure how to help him. Thank you.

moonjoy

Date posted: 2y

id suggest him to write down what he wants to speak about/what’s bothering him . a first appointment usually is just general stuff like why he wants to be in therapy, what he wants to work on, his goals & sometimes theyll have you rate stuff like “from 1-10 how stressed are you” etc . also, something comforting to tell him is that these therapists hear WORSE than he thinks. he might be scared of judgement, but assure him that therapists deal with the “worst” cases

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

I would tell him that: The first ERP session is a get to know you session. The ERP therapist has heard many things and they won’t judge him. He can be very general about his challenges at the first meeting. It’s okay to get to know the therapist better before getting into the nitty gritty. The therapy is there to help him. It will be okay - he’s not the only child his age with these problems. Your job as a mom is going to be hard once things get going as you will need to not give your son reassurances about his thoughts when he has “what if….” “What about…” type questions. Make sure you ask the therapist what your role will be and how they will communicate with you on how to best support your son. I’m sure there are great books and sites out there for parents but I don’t know of any. The best way to understand the basic concepts of how OCD is a barrage of thoughts and how to overcome them can be seen in the short The Noise in Your Head YouTubes by Reid Wilson. It is high level but informative.

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

Sorry that was so long. Good luck. 🍀

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

I’ve noticed a lot of the kids on here don’t want their parents to know how bad their OCD is / thoughts are. So let your son know that you love him no matter what his thoughts are. My son is 15 and doesn’t have OCD but has been in therapy for other issues. Once he was around 13 therapist confidently applied - your son might want to know that the therapist won’t share details with you - but confirm this with the therapist.

divyD

Date posted: 2y

I think just be there for him and let him know it’s a safe place and he can absolutely go at his own pace. Whatever he’s thought or felt is totally okay.. and it’s now time to relate to the thoughts differently and that’s what therapy will help with. I wish I had known that ocd thoughts are just annoying little flies that buzz about our head and are not worthy of taking seriously. Ocd means we just get confused by a thought that has scared us so it’s sortof stuck in our heads and we end up doing stuff to reduce the worry it causes but it doesn’t really help.

Cayla Davis

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

AMA for Parents: Supporting a child with OCD while managing my own—Ask me anything!

Hi everyone, I’m Cayla. I’m a mom that’s lived with OCD since childhood, but my breaking point came more recently after having my son. I was consumed by terrifying thoughts—What if I hurt him? What if I did something awful without realizing it? I was so afraid of my own mind that I couldn’t be alone with him. The shame and exhaustion were unbearable, and I convinced myself I was broken. In 2024, I finally sought help. ERP therapy at NOCD was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it saved my life. Even now, I have tough days, but I know I don’t have to be ruled by OCD. When my 12 year old daughter began showing signs of OCD, I felt overwhelmed with guilt. I never wanted her to go through what I had, but I knew what to do. I told her that I have OCD too and made sure she knew it wasn’t her fault—and that she wasn’t alone. One of the hardest parts of this journey was trusting someone else with my daughter’s OCD. I knew how vulnerable it feels to share intrusive thoughts, and I wanted her to feel safe. Her NOCD therapist was able to establish trust and genuine empathy from the start, and that relationship gave her the confidence to face ERP head-on. Seeing her build that trust made me certain she was in the right hands. ERP has helped both of us reclaim our lives, and it is beautiful to see my daughter managing her condition and making visible progress. Parenting with OCD while raising a child with OCD isn’t talked about enough, but I know so many parents are struggling with these same challenges. If you have questions about managing OCD while parenting, helping your child through ERP, or breaking cycles of guilt, drop them below—I’d love to share what I’ve learned. I’ll be answering all of the questions I receive in real-time today 4-5pm ET.

Jennifer Dal...

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 20w

Let’s talk about Therapy

So you got to ask me anything… Now I’d like to ask you something! I’ve heard from Members that they were so scared coming to their first ERP session. They were terrified that I would think they were crazy, that I would tell them their worst fears were true. That I would confirm they are some form of a terrible person or have them hauled off to prison for their thoughts. I’ve also had Members share how they’re very scared to begin ERP treatment because they’ve researched enough to know it means facing the fear, without the compulsions that have kept them feeling safe (but not really safe) this entire time. They struggled to see how they could be capable of doing this, while simultaneously acknowledging that they did not want to live like this anymore. If you have had your first session, what were your thoughts before? Did you have any hesitations or fears going into it? How did it turn out? If you haven’t yet begun to work with an ERP specialist, what is holding you back?

AbbeyRoad.01

Date posted: 18w

Anxious about starting Therapy

My name is Abbey and I’m a 14 year old girl struggling with OCD, I don’t like to say my OCD is severe but it’s the truth. I haven’t been officially diagnosed but I’m still being treated for it kinda via medication by my doctor. The reason I’m nervous about starting my therapy journey is I’m worried the therapist won’t understand what im saying or take it the wrong way and think I’m a bad person even though I know I’m a good hearted person. If you have any tips to overcome my fear of therapy please share! ✌️🧡

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What would you tell your younger self?

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