I had diagnosed with having narcissistic traits

[Not NPD] I dont want to feel sorry for me, cause thats bad for me, for my recovery, i even feel like this is bad to cause i want help. But i want to ask if someone had ocd with narcissism and what should i work on, how to start, cause im phase "feeling bad and trying to prove myself its not real" Im also afraid cause narcisistic people can manipulate people with suicidal danger, and i have suicidal ocd and when i dont get attention i get these thoughts and i feel really desperate that i have this reaction. Maybe i do it cause i dont get attention and thats a really a*hole thing to do