Please can someone tell me if this could be my OCD too...So a few days ago I stumbled across a video about narcissists on youtube and I discovered my boyfriend has some traits. All of my OCD themes are relathionship related because of this extreme fear of losing him. I've developed cheating OCD because he was so jelaous at the begining of our relathionship that till this day I'm afraid to even think someone else is handsome. I would never ever cheat on him. And important to say is that for like 7 years things were very good, he wasn't jelaous anymore, he was sweet and kind to me. He has moments when he's jelaous but it is because of my stupid confession compulsion!!! But ever since I found out he has some narcissistic traits I can't stop watching videos about it and reading about it. It's all I think about 24/7. The thing is all of this videos and articles are extremely negative. They all say that people like that are manipulative, unable to love....as I said he has some traits but I just can't believe he doesn't love me and that he is that monsterous being without a trace of empathy! This has now twisted my brain so much I feel like I don't know the person I've been with for 10 years! Everything he does or says my brain is like: "That's what a narcissist would say." or when he's hugging me and is nice and caring I get the thought :"He's lying to manipulate you." Can someone please tell me, could this possibly be OCD again cause I see I do ruminate about it 24/7 and I research about it constantly!! I'm so depressed, I can't escape this hopeless feeling.

This seems like ocd, obviously I’m not a professional. You are constantly thinking about it and worried about it. Definitely cut out the looking things up, that makes things worse I know from experience. Ocd can manipulate you to believe many things, and just because someone has a few traits does not mean they are a narcissist. That’s like saying “this person has a knife in his house so he’s a serial killer” yeah that doesn’t make since. So I think that’s ocd, do not ruminate just don’t react to the thoughts. I know that’s hard because they affect your relationship, but you have to show ocd you’re stronger!!

Narcissists people don't relieve manipulate unless they percieve the other person as a threat, what you're describing is another thing. What you're experiencing is just an overlap of ocd thoughts. Just try to resist your impulse of researching on the matter. Take a deep breath, listen to the thoughts but say nothing to them you will only trigger them even more. We all are a bit narcissistic but it's not the same as having a personality disorder

Thank you so much for your advices!! ♡ He is very egoistical and proud, but that's only a mask for his insecurities. At the beggining of our relathionship he really was so jelaous and posessive that it was almost paranoid. He accused me for flirting if I only looked at someone. It was all fine for years until 6 months ago where he did a similair thing and that is how my cheating OCD started in the first place. I'm still traumatised by his behaviour from the begininning of our relathionship, I know it wasn't okay from him to accuse me like that. When he reacted in the similair way with accusations and jelaousy it triggered me to develop OCD. He apologised quickly and said it is because he's afraid that he would lose me. And he also said he is very insecure and has low self esteem, so he admits he has some issues. He said he has a feeling that he doesn't deserve me. I don't think a narcissist would ever said stuff like that. And the other reason for me to develop this obsession is because I wanted to know if he would leave me if what my cheating OCD is telling me was true and by discovering he may be a narcissist without a trace of empathy it was like I got some sort of answer to my OCD question. It's horrible. I will definitely stop reading about it and try to stop ruminating.