- Username
- anonymousN
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Idk I avoid looking in the mirror because I’m afraid I will start to feel a disconnect and every time I look at someone else my brain is like that’s you and it causes me anxiety because I’m like what if my brain actually starts to think I’m someone else and then I start to have DID . And then it compares me to the guy in bates motel and makes me feel like I’m gonna be just like him and I’m gonna turn into a whole other person and start killing people and doing stuff that I don’t want to do ...
Look up "depersonalization" that may be what you are experiencing.
Someone helped me alot by telling me to remind myself that "a thought is just a thought" sounds simple but it's been good for me. My doctor also told me to practice distracting myself in moments like that. I asked her if that was avoidance and she pointed out that our brains think 1000s of thoughts a day. And told me to remember that I don't have to follow every one of them. I guess a healthy brain filters this stuff out subconsciously but ours have to be done manually sometimes. Hang in there. Ground yourself. Are you familiar with grounding exercises?
Eugh god i get the same thing but instead of me its the world! Ive found grounding works Find 5 thins you can see on your body that are recognizably yours (pimples, tattoos etc) 4 things you can touch 3 things you can heat 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste Its derealization/depersonalisation and i get multiple times a day. This is the best that ive done Its not OCD persay but it is symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and of OCD. If you have themes (harming someone, relationships, etc...) then its probably a byproduct of OCD
I’ve had depersonalization before and I think it kind of feeds in to my fear of having a personality disorder. Or DID . But I kind of don’t believe the fear because I’ve never had the thought till I saw that stupid movie bates motel ??? but it does feel very possible and real at times
Sometimes when I ruminate or try to disprove my themes (I know I shouldn’t do it but sometimes it’s to overwhelming and I can’t help it I’ve been getting better with it though) it feels like I’m arguing with another person, like there’s another person living in my head and they try to disprove everything I do, it’s usually a different voice from my own but when it’s really fucking with me it’s my own voice and it’s irritating, it just feels like another person lives in my head like there a bad influence and tell me to do all this shit and it’s horrible, I know it’s ocd but it just feels like another person in my head who’s constantly against me and everything I believe and when I argue I get literally no where it pulls shit out of its ass and says the most absurd shit and it makes me feel horrible, just wanted to know if anyone else’s ocd feels like it comes in the form of another person that’s living in your head?
I feel like im loosing my mind. I feel like i experience derealization or what. I feel confused like very very confused. I cant even think normally. Im just tired. I feel like im loosing myself. Im scared that everyone tells me that i have OCD, but what if this is all true? I dont think and im scared that other so-ocd sufferers dont feel this way as i do. I feel literally, LITERALLY so convinced that this must be true. It feels like i already accepted that this is true. Im done. My brain is broken. I even started to have thoughts like what if i have schizophrenia or dissociative identity disorder. Help me please. Do i have psychosis or what?
Earlier today for about a few hours i spent the whole entire time in my room researching a certain topic and feeling 100% convinced it was true and that it was the real me and i never had ocd. There was convincing evidence too. I was freaking out, crying, etc. i hardly remember what i was thinking, its almost like i blacked out. I keep trying to remember because from what i do remember some of the thoughts kinda bother me. I ended up calming down and snapping back into what i think is reality, and felt completely opposite of what i was thinking just 5 minutes prior. Im so confused, i dont know who i am, i feel like im actually going crazy.
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