- Date posted
- 2y
Friendship OCD
Anyone here experience friendship OCD? Unwanted thoughts about your friends & becoming scared of potential friendship dynamics you don’t want to experience like competition or jealousy?
Anyone here experience friendship OCD? Unwanted thoughts about your friends & becoming scared of potential friendship dynamics you don’t want to experience like competition or jealousy?
honestly seems like OCD can be about any emotion
@A23 Sometimes it feels scary to know that OCD can attack anything especially in areas you least expect it to.
@OvercomingOCD_ Yeah we have to be aware but also, in a very meta way, not overly aware if that makes any sense. It can be kind of odd to think about it at first
@A23 Yes that makes sense. Like be aware of our thoughts but don’t give it too much attention.
Not friendship OCD, but it was directed towards my sister. It started when she became closer with one of her friends. I had thoughts about how much she cares about me, why is telling her friend and not me, is she sharing the same information with both of us. I had that "urge" of wanting/needing to know of what is going on. I would also at time prolong or avoid coming home if I knew my sister was there. I was scared of being jealous or possessive. I understand that it is not easy to go through these, but it will not last and you do got this.
@notthereyet Thank you for sharing that! I can relate to the jealous part. It’s like im scared of feeling jealous or my friend being jealous of me or that she may want to compete with me if I share with her things I want to work on. So many thoughts. It’s hard. Thank you for your comment 🙏🏼
I absolutely have this , it's so annoying
@Studybug Thank you for sharing! I dont like it. It makes me think the worst of me as a person and friend. How does it show up for you? If you feel comfortable sharing 🙏🏼
@OvercomingOCD_ It makes me feel like I secretly hate them or they secretly hate me which in turn makes me feel like I have to be extra good and nice all the time which is just exhausting. And then there are intrusive thoughts saying bad things about them in my head.
@Studybug Thank you so much for sharing. I can relate to feeling that I need to behave a certain way to disprove my unwanted thoughts and prove to myself that I’m not what my thoughts say I am.
Can anyone who is diagnosed with both OCD and BPD tell me a bit more about their experiences, especially when it comes to friendship and relationships?
I’ve posted this under a comment before, but if anyone has the time to read it and maybe share their experience or tips with me, I would really appreciate it. This is just kind of the reason why Idk if I only have OCD or if I should get checked for BPD aswell as emotional dependency is (as far as I know) not a common symptom of OCD and neither are excessive changes in emotions/moods. I think the worst part my situation is that one of my biggest and most damaging if not destructive obsessions I developed earlier this year was this constant fear that my friend would lie to me about meeting up with a boy she liked (we are both girls and queer, she didn’t know that about me until recently, but I’ve known that she is and we both sort of crushed on each other). Not just lie, but do it behind my back, keep it a secret, and then maybe even end our friendship without saying anything. And the thing is... that basically happened. Two weeks ago she started acting strange one day out of nowhere, and then I found out (through another friend) that he was coming over to her place. We had already talked about this before, I had cried in front of her and confessed how much it hurt me. I know doing that probably wasn’t the healthiest thing, but my emotions completely overwhelmed me in that moment. And even though nothing physical happened between them, it still felt like a betrayal. I’m not saying it was cheating, obviously not, we’re not in a relationship and it is unfair of me to try and tell her who or not to date, but it still hurts. Especially as weeks ago, we already had a detailed conversation about this. She told me she didn’t actually like him that much, and that if they were going to meet again, she’d be honest with me about it. But instead of being honest that day, she said nothing. Worse, she suddenly stopped talking to me, which made me think I had done something wrong so I completely lost my mind. She knows I’m emotionally dependent on her to some extent, so when she goes cold or distant, I spiral. And that day, I saw them talking and going quiet as I walked by, and then she literally turned to walk into a different direction. I don’t know why but it just crushed me. I thought she was mad at me, and I just felt like I was being shut out and lied to. And as I’ve mentioned, later that day, after eight hours of crying, another friend told me what really happened. She even drove me to her place so we could talk. We did talk, but since then, we haven’t had any contact. And it’s driving me absolutely insane. She told me it would be “people-pleasing” if she didn’t try to date him. And I know she’s kind of right, but she still lied to me. She didn’t care if that meant that she would throw away our friendship, or at least she treated it like it was worth less than a potential (!) relationship with a guy who, as far as I know, didn’t even respond when she told him she had feelings for him. It’s honestly devastating. I feel betrayed, discarded, and totally lost and I know I can’t even logically be mad at her as the reason she didn’t tell me is obvious and as a good friend I should just be happy for her, but my emotional side is so much stronger than my logic.
My best friend hasn’t spoken to me in months. It triggered some symptoms that I now realize fall along the lines of ROCD. It’s making me behave in a way that chased my other friends away. I’m feeling very hopeless and guilty.
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