Anybody has an answer?

Why do I think this is weird? I’ve been together now for 6 months with my boyfriend. He’s really sweet and does a lot for me. I know he loves me. But he talks to a lot of girls on his Snapchat. I know he has a lot of girl friends even before I knew him. But the last few weeks a girl was reacting on his be real. I didn’t had the idea he was texting her on Snapchat because she wasn’t on his best friend list. But last week I saw a text from her on whatssap. It was a picture. He noticed I was scared so he said it was a co worker. I found it weird because I looked her up on social media because he followed her but she’s from a whole different city so that would be weird. But I tried to trust him on it because he’s really sweet and didn’t do anything before or something. But now a week later since that has happened he unfollowed her because I looked her up. Why is this and what should I do? I don’t want to ask because I don’t want so let him know I sort of stalked her. My ex boyfriend cheated on me so my trust is gone sort of and my current boyfriend knows.

Username: FactsOverFearFactsOverFear

Date posted: 1y ago

I see a lot of these posts on here, and I'm always torn on how to respond. Everyone is going to tell you that it's your OCD. In reality, we have no idea if it's your OCD. People with OCD still get cheated on - that's a fact! OCD doesn't have to play a role in EVERYTHING. Two things can exist at once. As someone who has been cheated on, I know how concerned you must be. My ex was a great guy in a lot of ways, but he was still cheating on me for months. All his reassurance was a way of manipulating me. Does this mean your boyfriend is doing the same thing? Absolutely not. I'm sharing this because I understand and am validating your concerns. This may not be the popular opinion, but I don't think it was wrong of you to snoop. You've been screwed over in the past, and you were just making sure that his story checked out. Communication is key in every relationship, but it is especially important for people who have OCD because we will run every scenario. You need to communicate with your boyfriend about how you're feeling, why you're feeling that way, and ask him about the situation. I would even admit that you snooped because of your past trauma, and that his story didn't make sense. If he's a genuine guy and isn't hiding something, then he will gladly explain everything to you. If you want to take the ERP therapy approach, you have to say to yourself, "Maybe he's cheating, Maybe he's not. I accept that uncertainty." Just two ways of going about it!

Username: Anonymously2 Anonymously2

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous Thankyou so much, I needed that

Username: FactsOverFearFactsOverFear

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymously2 - You're welcome!

Username: ecooley11ecooley11

Date posted: 46w ago

@FactsOverFear I know this post was a while ago, but I did basically the same thing as this person. my gf’s ex was being really sketchy & dm’ing me about their past relationship & then her other ex randomly blocked me the same week & I have trauma of an ex cheating & also let my gf know I have ROCD and will get retroactive jealousy at times. she had left her apple watch at my house and i was getting such rocd thoughts / due to trauma to make sure she wasn’t still speaking to her ex & checked for 5 mins and felt so guilty after & confessed. she forgave me but dumped me two weeks later due to her trust being lost. I feel so fucked up and guilty for having issues, but idk how to forgive myself for getting dumped over it

Username: BridgeSBridgeS

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

You probably think it's weird because you are over analyzing it and making it into something bigger. I don't want to reassure you. It sounds like your boyfriend is aware of what causes your anxiety and was trying to avoid making you anxious unnecessarily. Ultimately, you will never know 100% that your partner will always be faithful to you. As someone with ROCD as well, that is a really hard pill to swallow. You want certainty that they won't be unfaithful and nothing can give you that so just try your best to accept the uncertainty. If I know something has spiked my anxiety and I'm ruminating on it/stuck in my thoughts with it, then I try to think that thought isn't serving me in a positive way and try to move on. If you feel the anxiety build up over a thought you had or incident that had occured and it is pulling you into the cycle, try to think "this isn't serving me in a positive way" and move on. Do whatever you were planning on doing or were going to do before you got stuck in those thoughts and fears. Worrying will never give you the certainty you want so you have to let go of the need of the certainty.

Username: Anonymously2 Anonymously2

Date posted: 1y ago

@BridgeS Yes I guess I’m over analysing it it’s hard but I just need to let it go

Username: Anonymously2 Anonymously2

Date posted: 1y ago

He unfollowed a lot of people I saw

Username: Honeyshark Honeyshark

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymously2 You need to sit with the doubt and uncertainty and not try to find meaning in his actions. It’ll just make the OCD worse. It sucks cuz with ROCD it feels real and like you need to fix it or figure it out right now but you don’t.

Username: Anonymously2 Anonymously2

Date posted: 1y ago

@Razz14 Thankyou

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

Okay. I’m going to probably sound a little crazy. I have had ocd my entire life. Now it’s revolving around my spouse and him possibly doing something bad. Latest obsession and anxiety: I was at my mother in laws house helping her with something on her phone. I noticed that Snapchat was on her device and asked her if she had it. She said it was very weird. She doesn’t use that and didn’t download. My husband and kids were at her house a couple of weeks ago to watch a football game. The thoughts I’m having are that he downloaded it to her phone and used it while he was there. Can anyone help me sort this out? It’s causing me significant distress. Obviously he knows I’m thinking this and thinks it is ridiculous.

Relationship OCD

Username: annaaa

Date posted: 5y ago

I dont know if this is considered ROCD, but Im always checking up on what my boyfriend is doing on social media and put thoughts into my head that he’s cheating on me... I’ve caught him sending messages to another girl, and it broke my heart. I was so close to breaking up with him but decided to give it another try and my trust in him is growing back. We have been really really good lately but I always am engaging in compulsions to check Instagram and every platform of social media. It is especially worse when I text him, and he doesn’t answer and I see him active on another platform... it triggers me to think he’s messaging another girl and my thoughts start spiralling. I do not try to engage in the compulsion to always check my phone but somehow I always do. It’s consuming my professional life and distracting me from work!! Any advice?

Username: lenxiety

Date posted: 2y ago

Hey everyone :( it’s been while since I posted but I’m having hard time with my relationship cause of my ROCD. I keep worry about small details like the fact my bf recently changed his voice note messaging to expiring after two mins. I know his best friend talks to him 24/7 and he is always sending my bf voice notes (sometime his friend talks about illegal things) but is this something I should worry about? I feel like over analyzing his behaviours to see if he is hiding something from me or being disloyal. My heart knows it’s not in his character but I’m still worried :( any advice would be great. (Also have PTSD from being cheated on in past relationship)

Relationship OCD

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